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"Love is never logical..feelings aren't logical..We don't even realize sometimes what someone means to us..You realize the effect that person has on you when a single line written by him makes you cry. Again and again. Whenever you read it..It's strange, impractical, unreal, almost impossible; still existent."

I left these lines as a comment on one of the posts written by Guria. I happened to read the post and my comment there again. At times, such things help you realize how you felt a few months back when you were in a similar situation like now. How did you handle it, how did you vent out. It's as good as reading your old posts.

It has happened in the past too when comments became posts. When I have something substantial to add to a post, I write a comment that is longer than the post. At times I write the whole post on that topic. Blogging helps you think. It makes you look for logic beyond your usual understanding. It doesn't really make you a writer, but it makes you as good as one.

Thus, write what you feel like. Whatever you feel like. Without bothering about being judged or ridiculed. It will help you know and understand yourself better. It doesn't matter how often you write, but if you are regular, it is definitely going to help you more.

Philosophy! Sigh!

Small Joys and such else

That awesome feeling when you fit into your old LBD and it looks good on you? Well if you are a girl who is nearing her 30s, you would know exactly what I mean. Ah it feels weird to even write this down. Dress and me? That too an LBD? Ew, that's too feminine. But I have to attend a party in some fancy pub and I was looking for an appropriate outfit for that. Finally found one and it fitted perfectly. Ah, talk of small joys.

And talking about joys, today was Australian Open Semi Final between Nadal and Federer. Nadal won the match and what a game it was. After Federer winning the first set in a tie breaker, Nadal won the next three and won the game. Most of my friends are Federer fans and some who are Nadal fans, they started following him after he started winning the matches. Very few have actually followed his matches when he was rising on clay court. But well, that's another story.

Another update - I got my third tattoo done. It's on the wrist - a kanji symbol of love. The meaning of my name is love, and I wanted a pretty simple one, thus went for it. Here is the image:

Ah I always have so much to say, but I lack patience most of the times. Another vacation awaits me *fingers crossed*. I hope that materializes too. But all these things are too trivial to even bother about unless you love me and stalk me and want to know what's happening in my life and want to follow me wherever I go (ah, sounds flattering!), so well my life story info can simply be summed up.

In other news, most of you know about me and Guria by now. The bond, friendship, love, ass licking - whatever you want to call it. And it so happens that these days we rarely get time to talk to each other. We miss that and we keep mentioning it on facebook all the time. Both of us read the old posts we wrote, or some mail thread, or chat discussion just to remember and to smile. We need that daily to go on in life.

And each time while reading those old writings, we realize that nothing has changed between us while everything has changed around us. Be it circumstances, timezone, lifestyle, priorities (no, we ain't each other's priority. We are well above that) - and still, everything between us is the same. No I don't have to blog about it and flaunt, but I want a record of everything. It can be done over e-mails, but this is the place from where it started, where we met and the bond grew stronger. This blog and her blog will always remain the dearest to both of us for many reasons. One of them being us.

I miss her being in India when we planned so many blog posts over phone, we talked for hours, small things hurt us, smaller things made us happy beyond imagination, our lives - so different yet so connected. We faced many challenges in the form of people. They made fun of us for saying these things aloud; but I don't blame them. Narrow minds cannot be changed. We might have given them explanation too if it affected us, or if we knew what it was exactly. Thus we ignore.

And she says that I inspire her to blog. I love to read her, and I intend to inspire her all the time if she becomes regular here. So G, here is another inspiration for you!

Typo story

So many of my posts are a result of conversations I have with people around me. A few people I love to talk to are not in the same town as me. Thus the only contact point is messengers and/or e-mails. I remember those days when I used to share an e-mail thread of 100 + mails with a few people within a span of an hour. Yes, there is always an option of calling up, but e-mailing has its own charm. And no it's not boring or pathetic if you really love the person.

And so the story starts. Now, people around me are amazing, that goes without saying. But they are mere mortals after all. And they make a lot of mistakes while typing. A few mistakes can easily be overlooked, but when one makes more typos than the actual sentence, you can be sure that it is written by Guria.

Now a days, she blames it on auto-correct. Yeah yeah, I believe her. Her each typo is epic. It makes me laugh like crazy for sure. While she apologizes for the typo, she makes a couple of more of them. Ah, she is mad.

Funnier thing is, she makes typos even when she types out an emoticon. Every single time. She gets it right in third of fourth attempt. Just to cover it all up, she starts praising me as she knows that's the best way to embarrass me. Kids will be kids.

And now I know I shall be murdered for this post. But I solemnly swear that each word of this post is true. And it was long overdue as well as I had told her more than a month back that I'd blog about this. The busy me and lazy me never got to write this one.

And finally I take a break, after almost a year. After a very refreshing trip to MP last year, this year I go to another beautiful destination. I shall blog about it if I have the patience and interest, otherwise see you soon with yet another rant.

Yet another post

Yet another night, yet another post I begin to write, about all those things which keep happening in my life - again and again.

To begin with, teaching is shaping up well. Students are scoring good marks, weekend lectures are happening due to examination pressure and weekdays are spent with friends and fun. All in all, a good life.

Sometimes, things happen in a very strange manner. You don't even realize when some relationships become so very close to you. You don't see or talk to each other regularly, but there is always a connection between you and them. You can somehow sense their thoughts and feelings, you can feel their presence even though they are not around. Does it happen to you? It does to me at least.

And such relationships I cherish. I remember the time spent with them. I miss them when I am having a good time with my friends around - at dinners, over drinks or while watching a movie. They can make you remember them and miss them even when you are in a crowd.

Those regular here must have known by now who I am talking about. I do that in every second post these days. Reason is simple - it soothes me. As much as a road trip does, or scotch does. And it makes my blog a personal diary, and a few people try to read in between the lines too, and end up offering me some advise, but I am much more sane than I come across.

And hell, I am written about too. My dear friends write about me on their blogs, they acknowledge my presence and love me much more than I love them. They miss me when I am not around, they panic when I am not contactable. Ah, what would be life without them?

In other totally irrelevant news, I saw two movies recently - speedy singhs and Mausam. Both the movies are bad. Speedy Singhs is quite an ok one, but I don't know why it was made as there have been similar movies made in past - on the same theme and with the same community too. Russell Peters is totally wasted in it. Rather, he should stick to his stereotypes racist jokes and stand up. He excels there.

And Mausam - the less I say, the better it is. It is one of the worst movies ever made. It is full of various riots and terrorist attacks, bomb blasts etc. since 1991. And somehow the lead actors end up becoming a part of each of it - directly or indirectly. And still they survive. Phew, this happens only in hindi movies.

So all you wonderful people who have reached the bottom of this page, I have saved you from a disaster right now just as an incentive for reading the whole post. What? No more awards are accepted/distributed here for being a nice reader. It was a trend of 70s. 

Relationships

The header itself is dripping philosophy. Well, you can do justice to such posts mostly when you are in the trans mode, or feeling extremely emotional/sentimental about certain things or people. On any normal day, you will end up being diplomatic and write it in a very politically correct manner. I am blabbering now. Well, a slow and boring day can do that too you.

For the past 4-5 days, I have not been in blogging mood at all. I have not even read anything. Nor am I planning to read any in the coming 4-5 days. I like such short breaks. I like the hibernating feeling once in a while. I like to cut off completely from some part of the world that involves technology. Our life is full of it these days. You can't even afford to keep your cell phone off for 24 hours. It's a mad mad world.

And this technology has made us more emotional, touchy and angry about so many things. Especially relationships. Earlier, long distance relationships had a lot of suffering as there were not many means to contact each other. These days, it has become a pain in a$$. You video-chat with the person sitting across miles and oceans, you get angry when he/she doesn't turn up on time or turn up at all, you get frustrated as you are feeling low and can't even hug him/her, you smile the moment you see the person appear online. Ah the technology!

I feel wonderful when I get to connect to people who are not in the same continent as me. But I talk to them whenever I want to, I get to see them, share those small things which were otherwise not possible anymore. But when the person is within your reach, when that person comes back in the same country that you live in, and is just couple of hours away, and you are unable to meet him/her or connect to him/her on regular basis, it becomes frustrating before you even realize it.

It happened with me twice. I was within the reach of the person and could not meet the person or met for a very short period. When they were in India, I couldn't even talk to them because they had their families around them since they were meeting them after a year, and we were anyway connected online. I even fought with one of them on this matter.

Later on I was thinking about it - it was my love for them that was making me angry. They might be feeling the same frustration when I am not reachable, or I have certain commitments.Funny thing is, these people are a part of my virtual world coming real! But they have managed to be a part of me, my life like they had always been around.

Ah, the boring stories of me and my mind. Someone correctly said - expectations lead to disappointment. And the series of such frustrating disappointments result into boring blog posts too which you can choose to ignore. Hah, anyway nobody reads me these days :P

Happy and Not so happy moments

Time flies. Around this time, a year back, I didn't know what the hell was going on in my life. It was probably one of the most difficult phases for me. Things are not perfect now, but not so bad either. Back then, each day felt like a year, each moment crawled slower than the snail. And as they say, you know who your friends are when you are going through a rough phase. Same thing happened with me too. There were a few people who stood by me, whenever I needed them. And I was fortunate enough to have more than one such friends in my life.

Another blessing was my two year old niece - one year old then. Her constant mischief, growing up days and her love kept me going.

Such madness can keep anyone going.

Many things changed during this period. My blogging reduced drastically and replying to comments became zero. My readership could have been negative too if it was not for you wonderful people.

I complete two hundred posts. No matter how much one claims that one does not care about number of comments and readers, but you do care. If you didn't, then you wouldn't blog on a public platform at all! Yes, we don't always blog on topics that others like, but we never blog about topics others hate. Bah, I rant so much!

And I got my second tattoo done. I had blogged about the first one too. Check archives to see it. 

I am off to Pune for two days. It's a very random trip, no bookings done anywhere whatsoever! And India lost the match! Sigh!

In other news, my darling Guria is in India. I so wanted to go and meet her, but it won't be possible. I hope to meet her, and soon enough.

And India lost the test series. One of the most pathetic performances ever given by the erstwhile world number one test cricket team. I am sad again!

My Letter to Neha's...

On one summer’s day, I stumbled across a piece of my heart…

Being “the funny guy”, with her sensibilities hidden below layers of sarcasm, wit and petty foolishness, I have never been able to express myself when and where it really mattered.

There’s a concept that I believed in “No two woman can be friends for life” and it still is true… Neha is not my friend, she is the light of my blogging-life, a part of the real me, the girl I love… my faraway soul-mate and my blogging-twin.

She was born a good five days later than me, which makes Neha’s my kid-sister. She just celebrated her first birthday and now after me, she is about to celebrate the completion of a wonderful hundred posts.

But that is talking about Neha-the-blog and not Neha-the-woman who sealed the deal, the deal without any contracts but silent understanding between two hearts.

People wonder, people laugh, they joke and they kid but when we say we love the other like we don’t anyone else, but we mean it, every time. Maybe it’s part of growing up or part of discovering facets and shades to an one-dimensional existence but we discovered what a true and real ‘bond’ can entail, can hold, can withstand, can be.

My popular blog was outshone by her popular blog and I should be jealous, people perceive. And we? I take credit for Neha’s success and Neha swears by Guria’s. She never understands the charm she weaves, the spell she casts with her ordinary but mesmerizing words and bits of her colorful personality, and thinks I’m just being the notorious, flattering me. She will root more for the Misfit than she will ever for her own blog, like the child she loves more because she didn’t give birth to it. The possessive flavor, the protective nuances, the boundless love and pride made me much more than I could ever hope to be.

If our blogs would be our lives, I could have said that she is my better half, my soul-sister, the light of my heart… But blogs are not real, only virtual. So I say all that… ‘she is my better half, my soul-sister, the light of my heart’… in my real life, and I say that about the girl whom I have only read, heard and never seen. But the blind can love too, can’t they? And then I believe the blind see more than the sighted ever can.

I am writing this in a piece of paper today because I couldn’t say just “Happy Birthday” on her completing her first or just a "Congratulations" on her upcoming hundredth. Because Neha’s stopped being just a blog for me long time back…

Neha is a woman whom I admire, who is more special as she doesn’t ever understand- love her baffled expressions and her pained pauses- why she is so. She is one of the most beautiful individuals I have the pleasure of knowing, of listening to… hearing her voice have always ever lifted me up… she is the one who has supported me, been with me beyond what one can ever imagine… she is the one who held my hand when I was down and hurt, she is the one who rejoiced most when I had reasons to celebrate…

A hundred posts, or a full year, readers and followers, popularity or infamy, they are not what I got from blogging… in this big, wide and ugly world, Neha is the best present that my writings, my blog could have given to my life…

I dunno if I am half of what Neha is to me… but there’s one thing that comes out of my heart that is as true as heartbeats we live with, is that, I really love you, girl!

Love, Guria.

P.S. I wrote this post as the last thing Neha would ever write is about herself. And yet I wanted All to know that as special as you know this blog to be, the lady who writes in here is always, always more so special…

Saving the Tigers...

....is one of the most dumb ideas one could come up with.

Disclaimer: This is a sarcastic (and rude) post about us. With explicit permission from the blog owner, am I publishing this on Neha's (too). Whoever has been finding some notions of Save Our Tigers Project ridiculous, please do not proceed. If you do, the blame lies with you and you alone. As certain Indians also, if you are offended, I can't help it. So proceed with caution. The author and the blog owner bears no responsibility for wounded egos and short tempers. If you can't take it, don't read it.

Who around us doesn't know, that the number of tigers in our country is pointing towards extinction? Someone with the most minimal knowledge is aware of it. So why the big deal out of it? Yeah, 1411 is a catchy number and we could have done without knowing it. Thank you. And also without the 'poor little thing' marketing gimmick for an ad.

Yeah, yeah I know tiger, actually the Royal Bengal Tiger (did you know?) is our National animal, but what can I do?

This sympathy organization just to fool the public, what can I call it but a publicity stunt? What happens if we join up? Nothing. If only, they can procreate and carry baby tigers into the forests, there's no hope for increasing that number.

I can join up. (Isn't it free?) But what good will it do? I'll do not one thing different. Oh yes, I can sympathize. Better yet, I can criticize.

What was the reason behind creating this huge furor over nothing? Make us feel guilty over something that isn't my concern anyway? (My concern extends only to myself, sometimes to my immediate family and mostly, to make people understand how great I am). 

So, I can snivel around and mark out pointers, enumerating the reasons why the makers of the group as well as the group are dumb. Why their ideas are trash, and nothing will ever actually work and how they are wasting our energy. 

Of course, however I am not available (usually disappear faster than when chased by a tiger) when it is to suggest an alternative to the "foolish ideas and ventures". It's not my job. Mine is to criticize what they do (though, however, it isn't something I could ever do). Actually, why are they making us talk about something in which we had no intention of putting any effort, taking away time from thinking about ourselves.

"Write to policy-makers" --- This is India, my darling! You gotta' be kidding! Who gives a damn (when the high-and-mighty me doesn't, you really cannot expect the berated-by-me-too policy makers to)! Actually, they are much like me, they do not like being poked in the eye about something that is obvious. And like me, they do not care. Like I won't ever care to take any initiative.

"Blog about it" --- As if my space is out for blogging about a public cause. Does it pay? Does it bring readers? Awareness in India through blogging? That's not really my priority. Yeah, may be there are Westerners in my readership, may be they could pitch in too, but they'd be foolish to care. So please, I'll save my effort.

"The Government" --- And of course, living in India, we always have a ready-made excuse. Our government. After all, everything is their fault. And bashing and abusing them easily hides the fact that we rarely do anything for the country we proclaim to love. Oh, what would have we done if our Government wasn't so corrupt and lazy? It would have been terrible! It would have been obvious to the most even casual onlooker that we, the people are also corrupt, lazy, all talk-no action, worthless and selfish schmucks who only know to belittle others and do nothing that has no profit in store for them. 

None of us will ever put up money, or take an active role. We'll not talk about the ideas that are actually achievable, because we won't shift from our comfortable life-style to implement or even accommodate them. This is not just about Tigers, it extends to everything that requires us to stand together. We have forgotten Aesop's Fables as children's stories. "Unity is might" has been lost in the dredges of personal gain and others' losses. In case of saving tigers, we refuse to stand together, refuse to commend the initiative, just because me, in my all pompous glory about myself is above it all. Because being noticed becomes easier when I'm standing apart from the crowd questioning or ridiculing what others stand together for and of course, it makes me feel I'm smarter than the rest of them. And all for a cause, I don't even spend two moments of my day.

The Government, any government has a thousand and one issues (is the number I have used too high?) to resolve. Even if they know the catchy number of '1411 only', documented on a sheet of paper, it just can get lost under a mountain of pending more-important work. Is creating a single voice, loud and clear, demanding something be done right away has any bearing towards saving our tigers from extinction? I'm thick-headed, near-sighted or politically correct enough to ignore that possibility. It goes against my strategy, and my brilliant criticism, you see. Of course, all we have to do is make them, force them even, to create reserves and sanctuaries. That's it. With the protection that comes with that concept, our tigers will have their own habitat, and no fear of surviving into the next generations.  Ever been to Kanha National Park or Corbett National Park?

But we don't really care about standing together or talking about issues and causes. It has no profit in store for us. We can criticize and can point out what a futile and lame attempt this is. Why do we care if it succeeds or fails as long as it doesn't concern us directly? What are we, fools? 

(And we hit closer to home with this last statement, and blissfully remain unaware about it)

N.B. It is always easier to criticize and pick faults, than commend one or several for their actions and initiatives. Learn to live beyond yourself, and support an attempt, a greater cause. And if you cannot agree, cannot support and yet, provide no better solutions than the ones existing, keep shut.

For joining the Roar to Save Our Tigers, or just for a look-see visit the site here.

~~~~~~~

This is a guest post by Guria.