Friday, November 21, 2014

Bombay food

I haven't written anything about Bombay in a while. Not that I am left with regular readers for this blog would would know that I used to write about Bombay every now and then. Bombay or Mumbai - to me both are the same. Bombay is just a habit as I have known that city by that name for years. It's that weird habit and attachment you have with old names. Maharashtrians have this tradition of changing the name of the girl after marriage. Your name, your identity that you held for years suddenly changes overnight. But her family will always relate to and call her by the old name. Same is the case with this city. Some people act like its khadus sasural wala and force everyone to call it Mumbai. Stupid analogy, yeah. But you do get the drift right?

Anyway. There is this very typical thing about Bombay. Like if someone goes to Haridwar, you ask them to get you a bottle of gangajal, when I travel to other cities, people ask me to get vada pav for them. Yes we do get vada paavs here at every corner, and they are tasty almost everywhere; but getting them at 5 am is expecting too much even from Bombay. And if you are a gujju, then the list includes thepla dhokla too. 

Yes. Vada paav. The best ones I have had so far is at Ashok's vada paav near Kirti college. If you are from Bombay and haven't had vada paav there, what are you even doing in this city bro? Then you get this awesome vada paav outside mithibai college. I guess their butter layer in it is thicker than the paav.then you have datta vada paav across Bombay and express way, dattaguru at panvel, Joshi vada paav in Pune. But yes, all these can be missed, but not Ashok Vada Paav. Go and eat that right away.

Misal. Another maharashtra specialty. Again, you can hardly go wrong with this dish. It's mostly spicy and has gujju farsan in it. It's so spicy that you can't make out any other taste. And it tastes the best with paav. Probably the best misal place in Bombay is mamledar misal in thane. (I know thane is not Bombay, but for food we can adjust this much.)

Then you have thaali pith and kothambir vadi. Thaali pith is maharashtrian version of thepla. And kothambir vadi is another dish with coriander and besan. You either steam and serve it or shallow/deep fry it. It tastes superb either way. Some people ruin it by adding shengdana to it. This state people add shengdana and vataana to every damn thing. Anyway, coming back to these two dishes, again you cannot go wrong with any. And you get amazing ones at any maharashtrian food joint. Datta again being the best place to have it. And Sapre.

Sabudana vada. And Piyush. Place to go is Prakash in Dadar. Sabudana vada - I am sure most of you know. Piyush is liquid Shrikhand. If you are not a fan of sweets, it will kill you. It is extra sweet. And then you have jhunka bhakhar. Again a dish made of besan and bhakri - roti of different/mix grains. Earlier you had Jhunka bhakhar kendras across bombay. It was a kind of food chain. Now you see fewer of them around, but they are still there. The best one I knew was at nariman point. It was a sea facing joint behind NCPA. College time regular joint. They served the tastiest parathas and sandwiches I have ever had anywhere. It shut down. Again something you really really missed if you lived in Bombay a decade ago and never been to. Then there is puranpoli too - sweet roti. I hate it so I can't tell you where you get the good ones.

I must have missed out on quite a few dishes and places. Food everywhere is unlimited. You have plenty of varieties at almost all the places and in all the states. Almost all of us can write/talk about it all the time. All of us have favourite places to eat out at - restaurants and street food joints. Bombay has so many khau gallis. Most of them are in gujju areas. Bombay is full of gujjus anyway. But you still can't miss out on Maharashtrian food. If you visit Bombay, read this post. You don't have to meet me now. Hah.

Thursday, November 06, 2014

Weeding out

It's probably the best exercise for your mind. We are almost always surrounded by negative people, things, energies. We are stuck in the wrong job, wrong relationship, wrong arrangements. At times that being a comfort zone is our way of fooling our mind as we cannot bear the pain our heart will go through due to their absence or disappearance. For that we put up with them. But does that really help us? No it doesn't. And we also know who wins in the battle of heart vs mind.

When you have to repeat this exercise frequently and you end up removing too many people, or at least one person who you considered very close to you or gave that special place to - be it a friend or a boyfriend/girlfriend, you need to really introspect about your life, the way you have been living and the kind of people you are choosing. 

Not that difficult. Most of the things in our life work as per a pattern. We almost attract same kind of people/assholes in our life, we make same/similar kind of mistakes and the final result is almost the same too. Every time we come out of it damaged. The trick is to identify the pattern. And make sure you don't go for any such thing or people that fall within that pattern. They are the most tempting options for you. You are almost always attracted to that pattern. And they always hurt you, destroy you little by little every time.

Trick is to go for boring, simple and unexciting. Wild and interesting will always attract us more than dull and boring. Predictable is so meh. Yes you will agree. But it's actually the best arrangement you can get if you are looking at stability or long term relationships. It's all right to not hear adventurous stories every night after he comes back home, it's okay to live with someone who has a normal routine life. You don't want to feel lucky as he still has the ability to patao girls easily and at the end of the day he comes back to you. These things sound good but don't last. The dream breaks. The pieces pierce your soul. 

At the end of the day, all of us want to be accepted, respected and loved. We want to feel happy and we want to be happy. Only then we will be able to keep others happy. Only then the life will be content. Weed out wrong ones from life. Make place for the right things. Time is always right, it's upto you to choose the right people and things.

Monday, October 27, 2014

Anger

We claim to be a strong person in front of the world, but it's difficult to lie to oneself. We act foolish when we like someone more than we should. I am not talking about love. When you are in love, you forgive everything and continue living in the hurt. But when you step out of the bubble once, and see how you are being treated, you decide to stand by yourself. Yes, there is hurt in this too, for your love is at stake. You may end up losing the person you love forever. But it's worth the effort. If someone doesn't appreciate you, it's time to step aside. And move on.

I always believed that love was more than enough in life to survive. Survival of emotions was solely dependent on that. Is it really a sensible thing to do? Yes, if you are with the right person. Again, the hitch here is that right differs for everyone. What is right for me may not be the same for you. That's where the problem starts. 

Most of the relationships don't survive as both of you intend different things from the relationship. Put it this way. We expect different things. We have different expectations from each other. Rather, different expectations screw it up all. If you say that a relationship is unconditional, there are no expectations involved then you should stop kidding yourself. Expectations are a part of any arrangement. They increase or change with time. Sooner you accept and acknowledge this, the better.

It's easy to be a shoulder when someone is sad. Difficult part is to make a room for happiness for that person. If you can't fulfill the latter, don't even attempt the former. You always end up hurting someone in the process. People develop hopes when you promise them things just to cheer them up in their shit time. Do them a favour. Don't. 

For the past one week, I have felt many emotions. Most of the time it has been anger. I am angry at myself. No, there is no room for regret in my life. I haven't regretted anything I have done so far. I take the full responsibility of my actions. And what makes me angry is when people forget the fact that you are human. And you can be sensitive. You may get offended by the smallest of the thing and would expect the other person to understand your anger. Anger comes where there is love. Most people overlook the fact. They become defensive. And that kills the love. 

Life teaches you lessons in a harsh way. We think that our shit is the shittiest of all. We don't really know what's happening in others' lives. Here I am writing about my stupid emotions and cursing my life, in some part of the world someone would be praying for a dear one's life, someone would be waiting for help after meeting a horrible accident, someone would be celebrating a child birth, someone would be happy as the girl he loves just said yes, someone must have lost a huge assignment, someone must be struggling to get sleep, someone would be struggling to wake up.

When the worst shit chooses to be in your life, you wake up every morning miserable, and want to yell - why me. There is no answer. You chose it. Or it chose you. Either way, you are in shit. Now what? What else. Survive. Fight with your own self. Keep telling and convincing yourself that you will have good days too. Until then, try to look for the you that's gone missing. You might get lucky and find that. If you do, let me know too where to look.

Friday, October 03, 2014

Just like that

At times you just feel like writing. About nothing. About everything. I can write hundred things about one topic, and nothing about hundred topics. It's all about the mood. And mind. And how interesting the post turns out in my head. It mostly sucks, and it is mostly liked by others. Thus I have stopped thinking about how anything turns out to be.

People expect unconditional love from others, and they receive unwarranted hatred at times even from strangers. That's life. That's how it works. You think you're unimportant but there are people who talk about you and you are not even aware about it. They talk about how unimportant you are, and end up proving their theory wrong. That's how stupid they are. Or that's how fucked up you are.

And I was told just now that there is no connection between what I started with when I started this post and how I completely digressed in the second para. I think the moment I change the paragraph, my thinking process changes. I shirt the tracks drastically. And how. But that's how I can write. Thus I don't attempt to write for an audience. I sound too artificial to me when I do. There is no sense of satisfaction when I do.

Have you ever noticed how people define good or bad? Good things are usually the ones that benefit you and fear inducing things become bad. It's dussera today and people burn Ravana. They kill the bad. The good guy won, and the bad one had to die. Death is probably the worst punishment we can think of. But there are worse things than dying. And if people know that, they won't fear death. And we can't deal with too many bad men alive. We are scared of them. To protect our neck, they have to die.

It will never be about good or bad. It will always be about convenience and fear. And weak vs strong. You live, fall down, get up, rot and die.

Friday, September 19, 2014

Let's judge everyone. It's free.

It's so easy to offend people these days. All you need to do is post something online on any social networking site. They call it sly post in fancy language. Some anonymous person is hiding behind his 10k phone, judging you for the acts you have done. He is neither paid for it nor does it change his life in any manner. But they say that attention is priceless. And you can get it without doing much.

I feel sick. I see everyone passing judgement about every damn thing that happens around. Oh she eloped and got married? Such a characterless girl. He left his parents and moved out? He will realise how it feels when his child does the same to him. She got divorced? She must be at fault. Her husband seemed like a nice guy. Oh look at that poor man, posting emotional statuses. His wife is such a bitch. Left him for no reason. He loves her so much.

The list goes on and on. The victim suffers. Because of certain narrow minded assholes. The society consists of them. They are everywhere. Nothing ever helps to reform them. Some of them are more educated than the victim. Victim is actually a wrong word. But that's the only word most understand. Have you ever wondered why so many people are victimised and most still don't prefer to raise their voice? Because they are scared that the society won't accept them if they go against the rules made by the society.

And it's true. Being a lawyer, I have come across so many people who have suffered because the society was unfair to them. Some were brave enough to take a stand, to raise their voice. But I see them struggle today. Post divorce, women simply become an easy target for men, or a taboo. Yes it very much exists in today's world. Parents want to get them remarried asap. Men don't have a better life either. They are constantly judged. And taunted. But they don't live in a state where they have to hide their marital status as they are scared of being vulnerable and easy target.

I must be sounding like someone who still lives in a medieval age, but if you step out of your bubble of a perfect world, you'll see its darker side. It's exposed to those unlucky few. The world is full of abusers. They abuse you physically, mentally and emotionally. They abuse you financially. They abuse your individuality, your reputation, your life, your heart and mind. These abusers live in your house, in your neighbourhood, at your workplace, they travel with you in public transport, they are reading your updates on social networking sites.

How are you going to run away? How will you get rid of them? Will they ever leave you alone? I guess not but I hope for it. People judge. They will never understand why you did something, why you're what you're today. To understand you, they will have to be you, go through what you did, but you'll pray that they don't have to lead the life you did. Nobody should experience with that side of life. But this side of life is not hidden. Put in efforts to see it. It's right in front of you. Accept it, improve it. Don't make a face when you see it. Make this world a better place for the ones who deserve to lead a respectable life too, just like you do.