Escapism

It's funny how our moods work. Silly things make us sad while huge things may not affect us at all. How we store our faith in all wrong/impossible things and then regret about those things later. Funny thing is, we knew their fate already. But still we sulk. Feel sad. Low. Down. Depressed. Happy. Relaxed. Free. Too many emotions. Too many regrets. Of past or the present.

And the cycle goes on. How some things make us depressed or even heartless. Anyway I think I have been posting a lot of philosophical blogs. So let me not even start with another one.

In other news, Bombay is no longer hot. Monsoon is here. So is the gloomy weather, traffic, potholes and dirt. Come to think if it, I don't like a single season here. Or anywhere. Winter makes my skin too dry, I sweat like a pig during humid summers of Bombay. Monsoon is too gloomy and depressing. And a huge pain if you have to travel as public transport is not easily available.

But the best thing is that a lot of trips happen during this season. Weekends are seldom spent in Bombay. Well, these days I'm never around on weekends anyway. And this has resulted into many arguments too with people who want to ahem spend time with me. I have been away most of the times. With different set of friends each time. And it's been fun so far. Exploring new places. Meeting new people. It gives you a break from the reality. 

When I discuss it with my close friends, they say that I'm escaping from the reality. My point is, what's wrong with that? Why is escapism bad if it gives me a peace of mind? I don't care how my Monday looks like so far as my weekends are fun. I don't care if you fight with me because I didn't meet you on weekend or didn't spend time with you when you were free. 

I found a picture of a place I was at around this time last year. 

Such a blissful place it was. Someone had given me the best news and had made this trip even more memorable for me only to shatter it after I came back. I remember sitting here alone for hours, smiling to myself and lost in dreams. Some moments are never forgotten. 

But this picture has given me motivation to go for another solo trip. To yet another destination. And it will happen soon.

Happiness

It's amazing how our mind works. How our emotions work. How we react to the same situation differently at different stages. How we look at a relationship differently as time passes by. How new people enter our lives, and in no time they become an integral part of our lives. And some people who swore to be there forever suddenly disappear. Because of you, because of them or because of circumstances - but they are not there with you anymore. They leave behind a void. At times someone else fills it, at times you fill it yourself or maybe it remains like that for forever.

 It's like you talk to someone everyday. About every single thing that happens in your life - happy, sad, confusing, funny, awkward - every damn thing. And one day - whoosh. The comfort is not there anymore. You are alone, completely on your own. The moment something happens the next day, you pick your phone, start typing the text and stop. You suddenly realise that you don't have anyone to text or share the news with.

Funny how you don't even remember how this dependency started. Before him or her, you were perfectly happy doing things without anyone knowing. You had a routine life, without anyone paying much attention to your existence. 

One fine day, someone comes in your life, who gives you that special attention you so far never noticed getting from anyone else. You start talking more. You start getting more attention. When you are happy, he/she shares your happiness, when you are sad, he/she makes you smile. It feels awesome so far as it lasts. 

We don't even realise what we do to ourselves when we store our dependency in someone. What happens to us, our feelings when our happiness changes its meaning and becomes a person instead of things or emotions? Why do we create that space that was not there earlier and that you didn't even need? Now that you have created the space, you need to fill it. With the person. It starts when you meet your first guy. Once he leaves, you sulk, you are sad, you feel lonely. You have nobody to share your happiness with, nobody to listen to you crib, no punching bag. If you are good looking, this phase doesn't last too long. You find someone else. Repeat the cycle. It's a loop.

But with time, you slowly realise that you need to break this loop. You need to detach happiness from a particular person. Yes, without that too, a relationship will be strong and healthy. And without relationship too, you will be happy. And like everything else, this too is easy said than done. But one has to start somewhere. Then why not now?

Very strange post I know. I had to write something. My thoughts. I have not been able to write. And that scares me. I have managed one whole post today, that's a huge deal. Hope the block doesn't last long.

Gujjus, Food, Gujju Food, Foodie Gujjus etc.

Gujjus and food go hand in hand. They are always talking about food. No matter at what time you land up in a Gujarati household, you will be offered food. If nothing is available then they will cook something for you. I remember mom cooking food for guests at 1 am. Proper thaali. And they ate it. Even though they had had dinner en route. It's a kind of sin not to offer food. Even bigger sin is to not eat it. And biggest sin is to order food from outside. You HAVE to cook for your guests.And feed them more than they can digest. But they can in fact digest much more than that too.

Gujjus have weird food preferences. They have weird menus. They will serve you the weirdest combination you could ever think of. They will cook the weirdest dish you could ever imagine. They make Guava sabzi, sev ki sabzi, papad ki sabzi. They even make onion ki sabzi. They add aam ras to kadhi, dumpling can replace aalu in any damn thing, bananas are used instead of potatoes in all the jain preparations - the list is endless.

Their definition of dinner is another story. I remember mom making upma for dinner. Or even Poha. Yes. Just that. Or just Dhokla. Or Khandvi. Or Haandvo. Or muthiya. (Please google these terms, you will get the perfect idea of the dishes I'm talking about). There was another dish - dumplings made in a kind of kadhi for gravy. And it was called Manchurian. When I came face to face with Manchurian for the first time, I refused to call it that. Later on realised that moms can be wrong too!

If you happen to live in a Gujju area, you will come across Jain version of all the possible dishes. Even Chinese food. I don't know how is it even possible, but it is. Popular food chains too compromise in their menu just to serve jain food. Because majority of the people eating out are Gujjus. And Jains don't eat onion, garlic and potatoes. In fact a few Gujarati community people do not eat onion and garlic. 

So far as eating habits are concerned, Gujjus have one ritual - they do not cook on Sunday evening. They have to eat out. And most of them (be it rich or middle class. There are no poor gujjus. You won't come across any. Even if they are poor, they will pretend to belong to middle class.) will be spotted in some area eating roadside food. In all the Gujju areas, you will fine one Khau Galli (Eatery lane literally) selling snacks items that Gujjus usually call 'Dinner'.

But one thing is there - you will rarely come across any Gujju who makes lousy food. They are gifted when it comes to cooking. And they will serve and feed anyone. Even if the person comes unannounced at their doorstep. Gujjus will usually land up at your doorstep unannounced. During dinner time. Without having their own dinner. And after you are done with your dinner. And they cook fresh food, with a smile on their face. Good tasty food. Full thaali. Because it's all about food for us. You are judged based on the dishes you served to your guests. Meetha and namkeen have to be served no matter what. They are always stocked up at home. Usually homemade stuff.

Travel Agencies have special Gujju tour packages for abroad trips. They promise to serve Gujju food to their customers. When Gujjus go for one day picnics, or even tours, they have to pack theplas. Even when I travel anywhere, mom packs theplas. Every time. Theplas are our elixir of life, to be had thrice a week in different meals. 

Phew! I can write so much more. We live to eat. Literally. They say this about Punjabis. But punjabis are more about the quantity of food. We are more about the variety. And weird combinations. We think about food first when we plan a trip. Not the destination, not the journey, nothing. Is Gujju food available there? Or at least veg food? These are our first two questions when we plan a holiday. 

Yes. We are awesome like that.

Are you a guy? Tough luck bro.

I have seen so many people talking about how difficult it is for a girl to survive in a male dominating society. Well it's true to a greater extent. But that doesn't mean that we girls take the feminism flag every time and abuse guys. They have a difficult life too.

I have seen them suffer so many times just because they are, well, men. No matter what they do in a girl's presence, their intentions are doubted. Well I believe that they should be allowed to think whatever they want to, for you cannot really change that. But we girls do the same too. It's a kind of secret code and thus I won't reveal what we really think in our mind about a guy (or even a girl for that matter in spite of being perfectly straight). When a guy offers to give a lift to a girl, they say "chance maar raha hai". If he doesn't offer, then he is a jerk. Ah poor guys.

Today I was waiting for a cab to go to the class. There was one guy standing right ahead of me. We were waiting for almost 10 minutes before one empty cab finally arrived. The cab guy didn't stop in front of him, but he stopped in front of me. Asked me where I wanted to go. I saw that guy come running to the cab. I let him ask the cab guy first as that was only fair. The cabwala refused him and took me.

Last weekend, I was coming back from some place. There was a guy sitting next to me in the flight. His friends were sitting right behind us. He tried 2-3 times to talk to me, just tried, but didn't succeed as I kind of carry that intimidating look with me wherever I go. Especially when I travel as I don't like to be disturbed. And flight is the only place where I get a peaceful sleep. And I didn't want to compromise on that. It was a two hour flight. After we landed, his friends very bluntly asked him why he didn't talk to me. And I heard it. He was embarrassed. Very embarrassed. 

A friend met with an accident. She rammed her bike into a car. It was her fault entirely as she lost balance. But onlookers started abusing the guy even though he was being sweet to her and trying to help her. His good gesture was mistaken as his error and poor fellow had to listen to everyone around him. He eventually took my friend to a nearby clinic. Thankfully she was not hurt much, but it was still a good deed. He didn't even take any damages from her. Insured car maybe, but still, WTH.

And every damn time, they are expected to carry heavy bags, or open the car/restaurant door, impress the girl, be funny, can't afford to be boring even a bit, can't praise other girls, have to compliment girls moderately, do hundreds of the things to make her fall in love with them, spend money on them, earn money for everyone - phew!

Poor guys. Thank God I am not a guy. I can be as lazy as I want to. The biggest advantage of being a girl. Really. There are hardly any guys who are really out of a girl's league. If a guy is single, and a girl is even average looking and she likes him, he will say yes to her in all probabilities. But she won't ask him. Ever. And she gets away with it. If he doesn't have guts to ask her out, someone else will. She will never run out of options, while he gets just a few options in any case. A guy's ugly is a girl's cute.

Dear feminists, please leave them alone. Really. They are mostly cute.

Ranting away

Now when I feel like blogging more regularly, I don't know what to post. Not that I lack subjects to write about, but I somehow don't feel like writing about general topics anymore. They have been written about by so many people and in so many different ways. But writing something is required because you want to write. Rants have all been already written about, so repeating same thing again and again will not help either.

Latest controversy - Sanjay Dutt's conviction. Sanjay Dutt was awarded 5 years of imprisonment for possessing and destroying illegal weapons. There have been mixed reactions about his sentence. People say that he has already suffered enough after the bomb blasts and till now. These 20 years were no less than punishment for him. He has already spent 18 months in jail and remaining sentence shall commence after he surrenders, and he has been given four weeks' time to do so.

Now former Supreme Court Judges are suggesting that he should file a petition to grant him the pardon as his conduct in the last 20 years has been pretty much civil. I remember when the bomb blast happened back in 1993 and when he was arrested, people boycotted him and swore never to watch his movies. I am yet to understand why did he take the illegal weapon from the person who was actively involved in the blasts and even tried to destroy them if he was innocent. 

Plea for granting pardon to the Governor - this right can be exercised when one feels that the court has been too harsh on him while granting him the punishment. But in Sanjay Dutt's case, court convicted him for the period prescribed in the act. Now, if everyone starts filing petition just because one is popular or has always had a good conduct, our Government's entire time will go in reviewing these petitions.

Further, isn't Supreme Court's order final and binding? Why such preferential treatment should be given just because one is a celebrity? According to me, he has committed a crime and he should pay for it. If the Government starts overruling Judiciary's decisions for such celebrities, will people be able to trust the Judiciary in future? High time that we start looking at celebrities as regular citizens so far as law and order is concerned.

I have heard many stories about 1993 bomb blasts and his alleged involvement in the same. They can be wrong stories. And since the Court did not find him guilty under any of those charges, we cannot comment anything about them. But those were some serious accusations. Had there been anyone else in his place, I don't think that person could have even seen the daylight post the blasts and till the judgment day.

But again, we are nobody to decide anything about anyone. Many people who have committed crimes are roaming around freely. Innocent people have lost their lives. Petty criminals have spent five years in jail for stealing 100 Rs. because his case date kept getting postponed, mercy petitions don't get reviewed for decades as the President has other important things to look after. Ministers are busy with the scams and people are posting awareness messages online to show that they are doing their bit even though that won't serve any purpose.

So, how was your weekend?