I blog because..

It has been around 2.5 years since I started blogging. In such a short time, I can proudly say that I have experienced almost all kinds of pleasures/pains you can think of in respect of blogging. I have met people, made friends, and enemies, I have blogged about people, I have been blogged about a few times, took part in a couple of competition and didn't win, changed blog templates, left comments on other blogs, won and gave blog awards and what not. It's an endless list. When I think about those days, I always feel good. How people took pain to read you every time, link your blog while giving away an award, acknowledged you, wrote about you and your blog.

And I used to write so well! Whenever I read any post written a year before, rather before say May-June 2010, each one is nice. Different subjects, variety of topics, variation in the style and language, flow of the post - everything was so good. No, I have never been a brilliant writer, not even above average; but blogging is all about expressing and if you can do that effortlessly, you are a good blogger.

But not many people think the way I do. I happened to meet someone recently who had a very strong opinion about blogging. According to that person, ranting or blogging about personal life is a waste of blogging. One must put one's writing skills to a good use. Well, I obviously disagreed as I only rant these days. It's been so long since I have written about people or observation. I like ranting. There is a disadvantage too. One year down, i won't be able to say that I wrote well a year ago; but that's ok. And I do call this blogging too sir even if you write me off as a blogger/writer.

Apart from ranting, I get the strong urge to write on legal topics. There are so many things people are not aware about, and they should know. But I lack patience. I deal with law books all day. Blogging is a vent out zone for me. If I see a lot of legal gyaan here too, then I will have to abandon my own blog. 

And I blog when I am extremely happy, or extremely sad, or extremely angry, or extremely stressed out. I cannot blog in normal mood. I prefer to do my work, or I talk to people, or I simply chill out.

I love to talk. I love to talk about things around me, people around me, me and such else. I cannot be fake here. No pseudonymous identity for me, no happy face when I am sad, no praising when I don't like you. I don't advertise my life here, but I don't make up things too, just to blog. And I love to write about such non-sense without being concerned about anybody or being judged. It feels so nice when this crap is out of your system.

I blog because I love to.

I wish I was dumb

Well, you have got to be dumb if you want to connect to most of the people around you. When I say that I wish I was dumb, I certainly think that I am smarter than most of the people around me. Or, let me put it this way - most people around me think that I am dumb. Well, this happens to be a general perception about girls as people think that girls don't have brains, they can only crib and nag, shop, make guys spend money on them. Well, it's true to an extent, but you cannot judge everyone on the basis of this perception right?

Before you decide to leave this post thinking I am turning all feminist, or start cussing the male species around and all set to leave a heated comment, wait. I am not going to do either of these. I am a feminist, but I love men. I respect them and can't think of a life without them. And I will keep loving them even if they are the ones who think I am dumb.

Coming back to the topic, which happened pretty early this time around - only two paragraphs of non-sense rants and I am back to the header. How many times have you faced a situation when people think that they can take you for a ride and lie to you about various things thinking you will never find out the truth? I am not trying to be sexist here, I am sure even men would be facing such situations, but right now I am talking about such situations faced by a few friends and even me.

One day, a friend and I were discussing about our relationships. Now, when two girls meet, a lot of bitching is bound to happen. And it's fun too sometimes, just to clear your mind and move on. And we started discussing about how guys lie to you, and how they think we believe them. There is no distrust here, but if one is going to lie about things the other person already knows about, that kinda explains it all.

Funny thing was, none of us came out of the relationship on these grounds. None of us tried to confront that person just to show that we trust them completely. It is wrong too I guess, as deep inside your heart, you know that the person keeps lying to you. But, is confrontation the only way out? The person would have lied as he didn't trust us enough. Maybe buying his excuses was our way of showing that we trust you. But at the end of it all, it was our smartness that made us find out the truth some or the other way, even without being nosy about it.

Thus the header - if I was dumb, I would have avoided so many heart breaks at various stages of life. All because I used a bit of my brain, kept my eyes open, I had to go through a sad phase. This was years and years ago, when I was a teenager. Almost a decade gone and I still retain my smartness much to my fury.

These days, I am seldom taken on a ride by someone, and whenever I am, I catch it, always. And I still see it happening with friends. They know it too, still keep quiet. And keep giving one more chance, without realising that it is somewhere affecting the relationship, the trust factor which is a base of any damn relationship. Had we all been as dumb as people assumed us to be, our life would have been happier. Well, maybe.

And I hate to end a post on serious note. Not that I am funny or amusing always, but I rarely get into boring rants mode. And damn, since the time I have been told that I digress from the main topic all the time, I have become a bit conscious about writing my post. So all you wonderful people, I shall stop listening to you if you ever talk about the header connection with the post ever in the future. Ah, just kidding.

The header story

OCDs are usually weird. I have already written a post about my OCDs here (you can choose not to click, you know). The list mentioned there didn't include quite a few points which I can think of right now. I don't know whether you can call them that, but I am too particular about these things.

Now, I have not been blogging regularly, reasons best known to me. I click on new post, start writing something, erase it and start it all over again. I don't know how many times I have done so. When I am unable to write anything, I simply go to edit post, delete the saved draft and log out. I cannot keep a single post saved in drafts. It makes me feel restless. Any incomplete work makes me feel so. Either I have to complete the post, or discard it completely. Or I mail a copy to myself if the post is amazing, which happens rarely.

Music - I am genre agnostic when it comes to music. I can listen to any damn song if it sounds good to my ears. I love to play the song I really like on repeat all day, for days. People around me go crazy as they get irritated after listening to the same song. I don't blame those poor souls, for I can be very irritating at times. Or maybe all the time. Who cares!

Coming back to the reason behind this post - the header story. I mentioned in my previous post that I keep digressing from the main topic of the post and talk about everything else. Well, same thing happened this time around too. That's how I am, deal with it. I cannot stick to a plan and write. I write whatever comes to my mind - while drafting an agreement, or while talking to a friend, while listening to music, while watching tv. when I have so many distractions, how can you expect me to stick to a topic.

Thus I shall digress, each time I write. Not purposely, but it happens. Always. When I decided to write a post about headers, I thought I would write something funny about headers, but as usual, got digressed :P

So all you wonderful people who are still clueless about the connection between the post and the header, you may continue to be so. You are anyway going to read me as your love for me is blind (lucky me). For the rest of you, stop looking for the link between the post and the header; there ain't any!

I be old

Certain headers can get you so much of attention. This one is my gtalk status right now. And almost everyone on my gtalk list asked me why did I have such a status. Even those who seldom speak with me, or who have a perpetual DND status.

For me, age has never been an issue to worry about. I have never been secretive about my age either. It's silly to hide one's age, especially when you already have wrinkles on your face and you still claim to be hovering somewhere in between 25 to 28. And no, this is no exaggeration, I know people who claim to be in their late twenties even though they have crossed the thirty mark a few years back.

Well, I am sure they do have their reasons for pretending to be so young. And fears too. A friend is 32, unmarried. She loves one guy and is going around with another. The guy she is in love with wants to marry a good looking girl as he happens to be the brother of a well known bollywood actress. For him, having a hot chic as his wife is very much necessary thanks to his "social circle". They keep going in and out of the relationship. The other guy in her life is a backup, if things don't work out with this one, then he is always there.

No, don't judge her. Maybe you would have done the same thing if you were her. Age and loneliness can make you do weird things in life. Another friend is in her late thirties and single too. She happens to be a very good looking girl, very intelligent and independent. But well, she was betrayed by her guy and now it's too late and difficult for her to find a guy she would be happy with thanks to our Indian society and its mentality.

As they say, you should never underestimate a woman unless you are talking about her age or weight. It stands true in most cases. Even those who claim that they don't mind disclosing their real age/weight are usually dishonest. Usually, not always.

Ah, this is so typically me. I start talking about one point and digress to something totally different. I have been sulking about being old - not because of aging, or wrinkles (not that I have any), or greying of hair (that I have many), but just thinking about my age suddenly makes me feel oh-so-old. There is so much I have done, there is so much to do, from career to personal life, and such other things.

And there is still an ongoing process of understanding people around you. Because you care. About them and about yourself too. You get either hurt or get happiness in the process. You think something and it turns out something else.

There I digress again. In a totally unrelated news, people have been praising the upcoming movie Rockstar's music a lot. AR Rehman has composed music for a movie after quite some time. People are usually biased about him. They are telling me that his music takes some time to grow on you, but slowly and surely it will, which I highly doubt. It's pretty much ordinary, with not so good lyrics. Talk about hype and bias.