Me and my various moods

It's always so damn convenient na to say something, or do something and then blame that on mood swings? Well, almost all of us do that, especially females. But I do not blame them. We have so many things going on in our minds, a long "to do" list each morning, almost all the time we suffer from under-performance (I would call it lack of time) as we cannot master each and everything. Things we cannot manage, or certain things we say, they are usually due to the mood swings that we get all the time.

Talking about the great moi, people around me are very much aware about my various mood swings. My mood swings are very weird. I do get regular mood swings too, like suddenly getting angry, or snap at people, or very very cheerful or extremely emotional etc etc. But the weird ones are too irritating than the regular ones. My talking increases-decreases as per my mood swings. Sometimes I get moods when I will talk non-stop and will not give anybody a chance to speak, other times I go so very quiet that you will think - sha, she is so boring. She does not even know how to strike a conversation. Very rarely I am in a 100% listening mood and very very rarely I am not in my short attention span mood :P

This thing I have realized very recently, rather, I was made to realize that I have a very very short attention span. Now it so happens that I talk to very few people on regular basis. I think there would be three to four people with whom I chat regularly. Insignia being one of them. But we share a great comfort. We do not have to keep talking all the time. Both of us usually multi-task while talking to each other. If the other does not respond to the most important topic for an hour, we understand that there must be something very important going on on the other side. So my short attention span does not get a chance to show its true colour :P

Second person is Shilpa. Again, with her it is on and off chatting about small small things we suddenly remember, or if I want any advice about anything, or a farmville gifts neighbours she wants (I quit it yet again!) and such. We speak for 5-10 minutes each time and that happens around 10-15 times a day :P So, no short attention span problem here too.

But the short attention span does come. I usually take a break from work a bit late at night and work usually through the night. I can work that way better. A few friends staying abroad are online at this time. When I talk to them, I do not multi-task purposely just to get a small break from work. But I cannot expect the same thing from them. If their reply to me is delayed even for more than a few seconds, I lose patience. I start looking here and there, I will start eating something, or play around with laptop and they feel that I am not paying attention to what they are saying! Ab main kya bolu!!

Isn't this image super hilarious? At least I found it too funny.

Anyway, coming back to my mood swings, I get in a blabbering mood too. I will jump from one random topic to another one and there will not be any connection between the two. God can also not save you if you do not get what I am saying. You cannot ask - what are you talking about. Ah, here "you" means my close friends who know me well :P With others, I usually pretend to be normal.

And those who say that mood swings are only girl thingi, contact me. I will introduce you to a few friends who are kings of mood swings. But more on them, later.

So, what kind of mood swings do you get? By the way, do you guys know that in English, a statement cannot start with "SO"? But certain things you like to do your way right? Be it calling lose - loose :P

Image Source: http://wendyusuallywanders.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/mood-swings.jpg
http://www.garyolsen.com/cartoons/ShortAttentionSpan350.jpg

Celeb Craze

Don't we love our celebs? Now, here "we" is a very relative term, for at least I do not fall under "love our celebs" category, except in case of errrrr John Abraham or a few more. I am not talking about me here (sigh), so let me skip my long list of hot celebs. But I have seen this in India at least. Here people literally worship celebrities. They build up temples for them, queue up outside their lavish bungalows just to get a glimpse of their favourite star, die for their one autograph and a picture with them? Oh man, they would kill for that.

I have quite a few friends on my facebook who have uploaded such pictures with celebrity. Wherever they meet them, they will make sure that they have a photograph clicked with them! that they will upload on social networking sides with excited sounding captions like I met Karishma-ji here; that's me with Amitabh-ji and this ji and that ji.

Now, no matter how close that friend is, such traits tend to irritate sometimes. Especially when you have to listen to that story of their meeting and clicking photographs ten times in one hour and you are to spend the entire day with that friend! God Bless you! I have gone through this torture not once, not twice but so many times. A very close friend happens to stay near Filmcity. Now, this guy swears by celebs. He will follow each and every trend started by his favourite celebs. I think his list of celebs he dislikes must be of 10 odd names, not more than that for sure. He even has a photograph clicked with Harman Baweja! Back to my friend's story, he got passes for the filmfare awards for the year 1999. He went for the awards function, came back and was raving about the whole event for almost three to four months until the vacation started! Imagine, at that time, he raved about Fardeen Khan's voice too, as he heard him speaking over the phone!

Actually, he still has so many pictures on his facebook account. I so felt like flicking a couple of them and post them here, but stopped for obvious reasons :P But one thing is there - Indians are very strong when it comes to celeb love. They rarely faint or cry after seeing a celeb.

I still remember those early hostel days when we were not allowed to stick any posters on the wall. Now you know how crazy a teenage girl is about hot hunks even though it has nothing to do with only teenage, as girls are usually crazy about hot hunks whom you find rarely! But I remember collecting those posters, pictures, magazines and interviews of my favourite celebs. Now, this was more out of the feeling of not being left out when my hostel friends flaunted their collection. Told ya already, girls are silly!

But the collection thing was still fine, I did a very embarrassing thing about which when I think now, I feel ashamed. Our college organizes an annual festival called Brouhaha each December. In my very first year, they invited John Abraham there. Now, he was a super model then with zero movie under his name, but still a very well known name. He arrived in the college and interacted with a few people, gave autographs etc all. I happened to be sitting just behind him. Man, he looks hot! :P He was smiling at everyone, looking around etc. all. I went to him and asked him whether he could give me a peck on my cheek. And he did so - in front of the whole auditorium! I must have broken at least 1000s of hearts in a few seconds then.

When I think about that now, oh my! It is so damn embarrassing! Phew!!! OK I know, few more hearts will be broken now as well!

That's us. So damn crazy about those stars. They may not even recognize you if they meet you for the second time. After that peck on the cheek episode, I met John again, in my college. This time, I was in the PR department for the festival. I spent 45 minutes with him, but he didn't remember that incident at all. Of course I didn't remind him (the egoist me :P), but yeah, we still worship them, take their autographs, click photographs with them and when they see you the next time, they don't even remember you. There are so many like us - so many ordinary people who love them like we do or even more than that. But we are still better off. We do not faint each time we see them :P

A completely out of context question - what is the definition of Blog Celebrity according to you? Can you name one? Waiting for your answer in the comment box. Please do answer without fail. :)

My Solitude

Like I said in my previous post, today was indeed a hectic day. Though it was not an all nighter last night thanks to my net connection which conked off at around 3ish, but I got up by 6:30, and again, did not sleep in the noon, I am yet again sleep deprived. The workload has increased to say the least. But blogging rejuvenates me always. The reason behind catharsis posts back to back here. I need to cleanse my system by venting out everything. And there is no better place than a blog where you write and people read and comment. They make you feel nice by showing that they are with you. How those unknown bunch can make you feel good just by saying two words - "take care".

As I mentioned, my day started pretty early. I left for town by 8 and reached by 9:30 for a 10:30 meeting. Reason was simple - I preferred an hour wait to two hours travelling alone in bad traffic. The smart me had fixed up the meeting at tea centre as I wanted to enjoy the amazing breakfast and super amazing tea out there. Now, I enjoy my solitude the most. I love eating alone, going for a movie alone or travel alone or even stay alone for that matter. I as such do not need a company to say, pass my days or years. I stay with people as they need me. Errrrrrr, too conceited right? I am a loner that does not mean I cannot stand crowd around me. I can live alone too without worrying about anything else. And my mother gets really scared whenever I mention that. And I purposely mention it to scare her.

Now, those of you who are regular here, I am sure they are aware about my love for tea and tea centre. Apart from amazing varieties of teas, you get very good breakfast there. With the familiar chattai curtains and bell, after a long time I felt as if I was at the place I really enjoy. If you are a lawyer, you will know exactly what I mean. I have clicked the bell picture as well.

After a good enough breakfast, now it was meeting time. It must have lasted for around an hour. I had another 40 minutes before I leave for home. I decided to go and sit at Marine Drive - the place where I spent most of my youth (have I become old?). Sun was not at its brightest, breeze was pretty much mild and the sea was calm enough too. I must have gone and sat there after years. But like always, I felt depressed. Sea usually depresses me. Whenever I sit there, I get all negative thoughts all the time. This time around it was no different. I got negative thoughts only, along with some nostalgic memories. 

In my 12th standard, we had gone to marine drive one afternoon. There was low tide that day, thus water levels were pretty low. First time ever we spotted shore there. We just jumped on those rocks and went down. That was one of the most memorable visit to Marine Drive. I was remembering that as well. Those good old college days, those small small dates, those hang outs etc. all suddenly seem so special after attending a boring meeting as a geek! I will not talk about depressing things at the moment, but I shall leave you to ponder over a few images that I clicked. Now I am not so good at photography as few of my fellow bloggers like Gautam, Insignia, Guria, Merlin, Kavi, Shilpa Garg and such. And I didn't even have my camera with me. All I had was a geeky looking business phone.

Click on the image to see the crabs crawling on those rocks

So many times I have sat at that end point..

Yes, I am in love with these rocks..I keep clicking them

That's that for today. I am very tired, so I don't think another all nighter is possible right now. But yes, if the days continue to be so busy and depressing, then you will see here me more often. See ya :)

People and their codes

I have been keeping too busy these days, with a very urgent and important matter that has come up in regards with a retainer client. I will not bore you by mentioning the details of the notices that my client has received from a government body (sigh! I wish they were drafted well!), but sometimes, your work that you really enjoy doing leaves you frustrated. And that too, when you have to work through weekend while your entire family is holidaying in a resort while it's raining - ok, I will not tell you how it feels, but if the computer screen could reflect my mood at the moment, it would have exploded by now!

Anyway, I am here to talk about people and not me. It's always easier for me to write about others, especially when I do not have much of time to even catch up with some sleep. I have been majorly sleep deprived these days. I do not get to sleep in the noon, and I am getting a sleep of five hours on an average. My system needs at least 8 hours to function the whole day and another couple of hours if I want to feel fresh throughout the day.

Ok ok, do not remind me. I know I again started talking about the great me! But I cannot help it. I know very few people around me about whom I can write. Those who matter to me, I tell them directly or send them a personal note about my feelings for them, or I blog about them, mention them in passing or write something they like to read. I especially write about them when they are not in right state of mind. I have done that in case of G so many times. That's my way of showing that I care and tell them that I am always there :)

Now, on this blog, I may come across as a very extrovert and bold person (the exact words of one of the bloggers who happens to be a very good friend too), but in a real life, I am an ambivert. I cannot put it in any other manner as I am 10% extrovert and 90% introvert! Thus, ambivert. Ask Mumbai bloggers whom I met earlier this month and they would confirm my nature. But again, that's not important here. My point about writing this post is to take a break from busy schedule and upset mood as weekend was bad.

People - I have written about them in past. Read this post and this one, about their nature and types, how they manage to entertain and irritate you with their typical characteristics. But well, I am too rude a person. If someone really irritates me, I simply block him/her rather than increasing one more tension in my already stressful life! And again, apart from being an ambivert and rude, I am too dumb when it comes to take care of someone when that person is low. If someone tells me to leave one alone, I will do that; if that person wants me to sit there, I will do that; if that person wants me not to sympathize, I will do that. But I cannot make you smile if you do not ask me to do so. I will sit quietly next to you until you ask me to @#$% off from there. I cannot not leave you alone when you want me to. When I am low, I tell what's on my mind. 

But not all are the same. A few days back, I got into a big trouble with a friend. She was upset as she had a fight with her husband. She gave me the background of her situation. I told her that everything will be fine, and she said that she would be fine if I'd just leave her alone for a while. I left from there the next moment. After a while I smsed her asking about how was she feeling. No reply. I was worried but I didn't want to be the intruding and nagging friend, so I refrained myself from calling her up. Ah the busy me completely forgot about this incident the next day. 

A common friend called me a few days back to tell me that my upset friend was pretty much angry on me for my tactless and ruthless behaviour towards her. I didn't even stay with nor nor I bothered to call and check on her when she was very upset and needed me! As I always say, People!!!!

I believe it's very common and natural to experience mood swings. But when you are going through a particular mood swing, why do you have to talk in the code language? Why do you say X when the thing you want is Y? How can an insensitive and useless person like me will ever be able to decipher what you exactly mean to say.

I think I am ranting. I cannot help it. I have a meeting tomorrow morning. I still have a lot of work pending, had to take a break from legal papers and write something just to feel better and fresh. Time for another all nighter people. Tomorrow promises to be a busy day with an early start, travel to town in the traffic, breakfast and a cup of ginger tea at Tea Centre alone and loads of work.

Do you believe in Magic?

Don't we all want to possess the powers to get whatever we want? At least I do. Magic - it fascinates me so much. You can get anything and everything with just a blink of an eye. Erm, the nice me always thinks of using the magic in a nice way that does not harm anybody, but yes, magic all around you - the thought only brings a smile on my face.

I was never into watching cartoons during my kidster days. I still do not know the names of famous cartoon characters, from status messages updated by friends, I realised that Garfield hates Mondays, show me a few images of cartoons and I will not be able to identify them. I used to paint, and once I had made a backdrop of a few cartoon characters. There were four heads involved to prepare the backdrop - three cartoon geniuses and the hopeless me. I painted Jerry and Archie comics characters - Archie, Betty, Veronica and Jughead. And that was an achievement as for the first time, I knew about more than one name in a particular cartoon show.

I never even read comics. I have read NONE of them so far. I listen to people like a dumb alien when they discuss comics! By the way, does Shinchan fall under cartoon category? I watch that these days. Going back to my earlier days, I always preferred to watch sports and news.

Once I happened to watch I dream of Jeannie and Bewitched. I fell in love with those characters and their powers. I started thinking about possessing those powers too. My each and every act was now influenced. All disappointments had only one if - if only I had magical powers like Jeannie and Samantha! I always tried to cast a spell by blinking my eyes and hoped for the magic to work. Now, don't get ideas about my disappointments. I am talking about school days, where a big thing was the first rank that I usually missed by a few marks (ah, the brilliant me), or when I never got to bat in a cricket match as I was a girl (sigh!) and few more stupid things.

When I entered college, there was Harry Potter fever all around. Almost everyone discussed about Goblet of Fire book and Sorcerer's Stone movie. Suddenly, Hogwarts school became for real, wand was waiting for me to be chosen, so were the school houses. All I had to do was to find out where it was. My Harry Potter obsession kept on increasing with time. To an extent that I started reading those books again and again. My last count of reading all the books and watching each movie must be at least 50 times (more, but not less).

In short, so far my wish has always been to become the magician, or a Jeannie or a witch - anything that had magical powers. I loved the feeling of performing magic and get things done. It all seemed so easy and convenient.

Though quite late, but I did become sane and realized that I cannot get a phoenix core wand to perform the magic. Sigh!! But the truth and realization is bitter if you believe them to be the only right thing. Believe in magic and it will be all around you.

My faith in magic has been restored again. But this time, it is slightly different from the earlier phase. This time around, I do not want to be a magician, or a Jeannie or a witch. This time around, I want a Jeannie or a magician to perform the magic for me :P

Imagine a situation. You are leading a busy and stressful life. Each day, you work late nights. Your working hours are anything between 14 to 18 hrs each day. You even work on a Sunday. All you need is a bit of peace of mind, a bit of entertainment, fun, love, pampering and magic. Yes, magic. Try to believe that it exists. And it will make you happy. It will bring a smile on your face at the end of a super hectic day. Your heart will believe that the magic exists and the magician performs it for you.

I come home each day after a hectic schedule. I feel stressed out, but I have magic around me. I have a magician around me. The thought itself brings a smile on my face. I am no longer the tired and stressed out Neha. I am the same old Neha who wanted to perform magic to get the first rank that she lost due to 3 marks she didn't score in history, the same Neha who believed that Hogwarts does exist. The same old Neha for whom the wand is waiting to be picked up.

Yes, Magic is indeed all around me :)

PS: Believe in magic and this post will make sense to you.

Image Courtesy - http://bowlingballgalaxy.com/ebonite-bowling-balls/ebonite-magic.jpg

http://www.dreamstime.com/stock-photo-cartoon-magician-image6455550

Mumbai Rains

Mumbai is one of those rare cities in India that has two seasons in a year - Summer and Monsoon - both in their extreme states. Once in two-three years we get to experience winter for a few days. Summer is really bad here. The moment you step out, you are drenched in sweat even before you reach the main gate of your building. I am now used to this humidity so much that if I go in some other city and I do not perspire, I fall sick thanks to my stupid psychology that the heat is not coming out of my body as I didn't sweat even if it was too hot!

But the season i really hated here was monsoon, until now. Reasons - how many of you have heard of 26th July floods in Mumbai? If not, then click here to see the photographs of that nightmare. Mumbai drainage system is the worst. Whenever there is a continuous heavy down pour for five hours or more, the trains stop as the railway tracks are flooded. You may find stand still traffic almost everywhere, a 30 km journey takes more than 3 hours, roads are muddy and dirty, if you travel in a local train or a bus, then people even stamp on your feet, clothes with their wet and muddy chappals and sandals, you have to be very careful while standing anywhere as an unannounced umbrella wire may get poked in your eye and such.

But the monsoon in Mumbai is at its best when you are at Marine drive enjoying the rains. Just take a walk near sea side, water drops drawn you in their beauty, while waves touch your soul deep inside. Usually sea depresses me, but not during monsoon when it's at its wildest and best. Bhutta wala, chai wala, chana chor garam wala and such make their presence felt too. You cannot stop yourself from buying those things and relish on them while it's raining.

I never appreciated rains so much in my life until now. These days, suddenly I have started falling in love with the monsoon. The rain drops lift my spirits instantly. Like a child, I feel like going out there and get wet, play in the rains, make paper boats, take a long walk or a bike ride. It sometimes feels very strange to see how our perspectives suddenly change.

Have you ever had garma garam Mirchi Bajji with spicy garlic chatni while getting wet in rains? Try it out. Your eyes are watering, but the rain water soothes you completely. Go out there and have an ice cream. It tastes ten times better. Just stand at Marine Drive and let the waves kiss your cheeks. You will never want to leave that place. Take a ride around Queens Necklace, Colaba and Fountain at midnight. You will be the luckiest if it's drizzling. Go out there with your loved ones, family and friends. Live your life to the fullest for that glorious day. Live each moment, experience each rain drop, feel each wave. Trust me, it feels like heaven...