Sometimes, so many thoughts are running through your mind that you don't know where to begin from. Whether to blog, or save in drafts, or just tweet away, post status updates, save in mail draft, word file, write a diary, ponder, forget, cry, run away, accept, embrace, give up, fight back or simply ignore them. No matter how hard you try, they haunt you always. Our mind is that way.
Talking of mind, what do you think would be our mind? Heart is an organ, but mind? Where is it? Does it have a form? How come it controls us so much? How can it be an integral part of us and still remain non-existence in being?
Ah, too much of philosophy can kill me you know. My so called non-being mind is always so damn philosophical that I wonder - does it really stay somewhere within my personality? I have always been so carefree, or careless whatever you want to call me. The kind of thoughts I get when I am sad or low are damn scary to say the least.
Yes, the thought storm is at its peak at the moment. I don't say that I am sad or happy right now. I am just in a different mood. When you keep running in life, and suddenly lose all your strength just before the finish line because you are tired, mentally and physically. You want everything to stand still, but nothing does. You are stuck and trapped. Everything is moving but you. That is the worst feeling to have when you cannot afford to slow down in life. Nothing interests you, not even work you are in love with, to an extent that even your survival does not matter after some point.
But still you survive. And how! Hiding the tears, faking a laugh seem like childhood things to you when you stand there, still alive, right before the finishing line. It kills you each second, making you weaker by each moment, and that weakness makes you all the more stronger.
There is a turmoil in your heart. Or is it there in the mind? Or it's not there at all? Can an illusion create such an impact too by lurking around, making sure that you actually believe it to be true? Illusion is such an easy way out from this. But if only you could call it an illusion...