Being Strong

I have lost the count of the number of times I have been told I am strong. Every time I have been told that, it makes me think - what makes one strong? "Being Strong" is a very relative term. I know many people who have faced certain situations in such a manner that when I even think of keeping myself in their shoes, I shiver. I don't think I can ever be as brave as them if I were to face it. And when I get to hear the same thing about me, I feel like saying - dude, it's not true!

If smiling even when you are deep in shit is strong, if controlling your true emotions is strong, if thinking about others first at the cost of your happiness is being strong then I am sorry. I don't want to be one. Those who are labeled as "strong" may agree with me that it is not something to be proud of. It's the weakest trait of a person, the worst one you can ever imagine.

People who can show their emotions are much better than those keeping a strong front all the time. Sometimes, you just need to express your true feelings. It can save you from many miseries that come your way in the future. It's fine to cry when you are low. It's normal to accept that you lost than stand there and fight the lost battle!

Yes I am in a pretty weird mood. And it is the result of the same old shit I get to hear every now and then. People can be so judgmental in life that it makes you hate yourself for appearing to be deceptive! It takes great efforts to stop yourself from slapping them! Yes, that's the only thing you want to do to them, and they so bloody well deserve it!

No, I am not strong! I am a mere mortal like you. I don't like the tag of being so amazing at facing situations. I break down too at the end of the day, if not at that moment or in front of others. And I don't recover out of it just like you. It is rather worse for me as my emotions stay buried inside me. It makes me weaker than most of you. My life is full of pessimism too, and it is a permanent state unlike yours as there is no way my emotions come out! It's a storage bag that has only fill option!

I am not writing it to hear how sorry you are for me. That's the last thing I want to hear. Nor I want comments like you understand, because you cannot! Today is one of those days when my patience bag is overflowing and I need to empty it. Public platform as I know many who can relate to this! Thank you for reading it and trying not to say sorry! It doesn't matter anyway! And a few of you, I know you are there for me. Thank you very much!

Untitled Post

In one of my earlier posts, I had mentioned that I completed third batch of teaching. Now, fourth one is ready too! It starts from Monday. It's going to be a CS inter batch and for the first time, I will be teaching three subjects - all law related ones. Oh by the way, have I mentioned that I teach Business Communication and Management too? They are interesting subjects too. If you say it in B-school language, there is a lot more of gas to them than the book material! I enjoy teaching it as I can talk on any damn topic. Communication and management is all about that anyway - a lot of gas, a lot of crap and a lot of talking!

Now, it's been quite some time since I started blogging. Initially, there was an enthusiasm to write frequently, update the blog every third day, receive comments etc., but slowly that phase died down. At some point, I had even believed that I could be humorous too, for people did find a few posts funny, and that made me slightly conscious. I used to try to sound funny in every damn piece I wrote, which started getting boring after some time. I mean, how many times you are going to crack the same joke on bloggers, numbers, anonymity and expect people to leave LOL in the comment box?

And thus I realized - humour was not my cup of tea. I can throw subtle humour here and there, but writing a downright witty post is not possible. Anyway we lawyers lack sense of humour as we don't get paid for being funny. Our serious face helps us earn money.

Talking of humour, I see so many people on twitter these days who have taken up stand up comedy as their profession. I know one or two of them personally too. They were in my college and were always upto some or the other prank! It was a delight to watch them in a comedy act which is unlike the one you see on Indian comedy shows. It is better, more fresh with good punches and good themes. And like most places, here too you will find a few overrated people who are not so funny but still are popular enough!

Now, this always happens with me. I start writing a post with a topic in mind and talk about everything else but that topic. Now, there is an unsaid rule in this blogging world. If you want readers on your blog, you first have to visit other blogs and leave comments there. Then only people will come back and read you and comment on your post. You have to keep doing it whenever that person updates his/her blog to ensure that you have that person in your regular reader list!

I have a few such readers who read me regularly and I read them too. But there is one particular reader whose blog I read once in a while, NEVER leave a comment and she makes a point to read and comment on almost all my posts. That reader is Rajlakshmi of Destiny's Child. This girl has been reading me since very beginning. She is very much regular on this space. If ever I have seen an unconditional reader, she is the one. I don't remember when I left a comment on her post last time. I read her posts on my phone as I have subscribed to her blog's RSS feeds, but I don't comment on her blog.

It feels good to have such readers. Thanks Rajlakshmi :)

PS: I cannot think of an appropriate header for this post, thus this one!

The "Real" Beauty!

The Biggest Blog Contest Ever - is what they call it. Indiblogger has announced a contest that has 1 lac as first prize. That's some money I must say. The contest is pretty simple - write a post on "What does real beauty mean to you" and win the money.

Now, as expected, many bloggers participated in it. Especially after knowing that the conest is not based on voting, but only the content that matters. Keeping in mind the past record of a few controversies, I am sure many who swore that they would never ever participate in any of the contest organized by Indiblogger must have taken their words back!

Many people I read wrote on this topic. First two three posts bowled me over. They really touched me deeply. I was amazed at what people thought the real beauty was! But after reading a few more posts, it was evident that everyone had chosen the safest, most effective and sure shot way to win a contest. Now come to think of it - if you have one entry that talks about beauty in a very technical manner and another one full of emotions and anecdotes, which one will you vote for?

How wonderful it feels when you read an entry that's written by a mother for whom the after-effects of child birth is real beauty, or the inner self is real beauty, or the out of shape body-tan skin-short height is real beauty. The key to win hearts and contest is to portray beauty in the things the world thinks ain't beautiful!

Now, one question to all of you - How many of you even talk to someone who is totally dark, fat, smelly and ugly? At least when you look at that person, for one minute you will have some opinion for that person. If you don't have any work with him/her then you will probably not even try to strike a conversation.

And contests make us say so many things! Real beauty according to me is hotness of Johnny Depp and Albie Morkel, cuteness of Brett Lee, charm of Brad Pitt, David Beckham, Rafael Nadal and all the other good looking guys around! *drools over Rafa while watching the French Open Semi Final*

Don't add me please!

Isn't it amusing to see one friend's request waiting for you to be accepted each morning? Well, it happens to you if you are a girl and have a deceptive looking display picture. And come to think of it, you always put up the best looking picture of yours unless you are married for less than a year as in that case, you have a picture with your better half. After a year or two, you shift back to the game of putting up the best looking picture!

I am no exception to this! I am very photogenic and those who have seen me personally vouch for that. "Pictures are deceptive" fits to the tee in my case! Am I complaining? Hell no!! I am fine with looking good in pictures and receiving those raving comments! 

But what irks me is those random fraandship requests, those stupid mails from roadside romeos - eww! Are people so desperate to be friends with any girl whom they don't even know? What pleasure do they get by having them in their friends' list? Not that they are going to get some kind of pleasure by having chicks on the list! Weirdos!

And there are requests from bloggers too. They add to increase readership, or just interact beyond blogs. Some people even have facebook account with their blog name. I did add a few bloggers initially, but they were the people I read and interacted regularly. Slowly they became a part of friends' list and still continue to remain there. 

The nice me had even added a few people I had never interacted with. I eventually removed them as they continued to remain dormant in my more personal virtual world too. A few kept trying their lucks by adding me again and again, I had to either block them or stop them from sending me requests. People see a few common friends and add blindly. Now there are very very few bloggers are there on my list whom I have not met so far. The number would not be more than 4-5.  Rest all of them I have met at some point in time or removed them conveniently!

People, I hope you have got the message loud and clear! I am done with adding bloggers and others. Don't even try to add me if you do not know me!

Various things

When your Sunday starts at 12 pm with a nice cup of ginger tea and migraine, you don't know whether to smile or feel sad! Nevertheless, it's going to be a Sunday with friends after a long time.

Blogsphere is buzzing aloud with many things these days. Controversies, fights and what not. Sometimes, when I see a few of my blog friends, I envy them as they are totally unaware about these things. Only writing their thoughts matter to them. Who does what, copies from where, frights with whom etc all don't matter to them.

On the other note, if you happen to live in Mumbai at this time of the season, you know how frustrating it feels to go out at any time of the day. It's boiling hot here. The moment you step out, you are drenched in sweat. It feels sticky and pathetic. I have to go out at 2. You can imagine how much I must be looking forward to it even though I am meeting my friends after a long time!

And I spot many playing various sports on open grounds. Football, cricket and such likes. Wearing Ronaldo, Beckham, Messi t-shirts, some are Tendulkars and others are Yuvi and Sehwag, running around in the heat, as if the sun doesn't affect them at all. Thanks to the vacation that they get, this is the only time they can play the whole day.

Not only guys, such t-shirts are available for girls too - slim cut, ganji style - cool and funky looking ones. I have one too - of David Beckham, bought when he was with Manchester United. I wanted to buy one when I went to see Mumbai Indian's match too, but we were already late for the match, so couldn't buy it.

Time to rush. I hope to be more regular here. I miss blogging and reading too!