I have lost the count of the number of times I have been told I am strong. Every time I have been told that, it makes me think - what makes one strong? "Being Strong" is a very relative term. I know many people who have faced certain situations in such a manner that when I even think of keeping myself in their shoes, I shiver. I don't think I can ever be as brave as them if I were to face it. And when I get to hear the same thing about me, I feel like saying - dude, it's not true!
If smiling even when you are deep in shit is strong, if controlling your true emotions is strong, if thinking about others first at the cost of your happiness is being strong then I am sorry. I don't want to be one. Those who are labeled as "strong" may agree with me that it is not something to be proud of. It's the weakest trait of a person, the worst one you can ever imagine.
People who can show their emotions are much better than those keeping a strong front all the time. Sometimes, you just need to express your true feelings. It can save you from many miseries that come your way in the future. It's fine to cry when you are low. It's normal to accept that you lost than stand there and fight the lost battle!
Yes I am in a pretty weird mood. And it is the result of the same old shit I get to hear every now and then. People can be so judgmental in life that it makes you hate yourself for appearing to be deceptive! It takes great efforts to stop yourself from slapping them! Yes, that's the only thing you want to do to them, and they so bloody well deserve it!
No, I am not strong! I am a mere mortal like you. I don't like the tag of being so amazing at facing situations. I break down too at the end of the day, if not at that moment or in front of others. And I don't recover out of it just like you. It is rather worse for me as my emotions stay buried inside me. It makes me weaker than most of you. My life is full of pessimism too, and it is a permanent state unlike yours as there is no way my emotions come out! It's a storage bag that has only fill option!
I am not writing it to hear how sorry you are for me. That's the last thing I want to hear. Nor I want comments like you understand, because you cannot! Today is one of those days when my patience bag is overflowing and I need to empty it. Public platform as I know many who can relate to this! Thank you for reading it and trying not to say sorry! It doesn't matter anyway! And a few of you, I know you are there for me. Thank you very much!