I always knew I would enjoy travelling alone, but what I didn't know was that it was addictive. I visited Udaipur recently. I was there for a family wedding. My whole khandan was travelling with me. Rajasthan was always there on my list of places I wanted to travel alone. And it kind of happened that way. Family people had already seen Udaipur and places around the city, thus it was just me who was left, and I was glad for that.
While travelling around the city, and outside too, while sitting alone in the car, while looking at the endless empty road ahead of you, while seeing the deers and leopards passing by, while watching monkeys to prepare to attack on any food they spot with you, while looking at children playing in the villages you pass by - you are searching for yourself everywhere. You are trying to fit in there. You wonder where you belong, what do you want, why are you doing what you are doing right now.
And I realise that things that make me happy and things I think that make me happy are different. Things, people who really make you happy never let you down. No, it's not about fulfilling fancy expectations, but it's about understanding you and your requirements, it's about accommodating you too in their small space, it's about accepting you as a part of them. There are no excuses and conditions. That's why happiness can easily be fulfilled when they depend on things and not people.
I felt happy when I was travelling on those endless roads. I felt connected to myself then. I didn't want the journey to end. But like every other good thing, that ended too, but for time being. Will I value it as much if I get it all the time and whenever I want it? I doubt I will. It has to be earned.
I feel happy when I write. It can be about any mundane topic, it can be extremely lame or smart, funny or philosophical. I can write something every single day. Here, on this space. This feels like home now. It's been my home for four years. It has me. It has a soul, just like mine. It has given me hope, happiness, heartbreak, dreams, love and hatred. It's just like life, created by me, with my words, and people.
This post was supposed to be a kind of travelogue, but it ended up somewhere else. I am anyway not too fond of travelogues. Or maybe I am. I have never really given it a thought. What makes you happy? Do you know it already or you are yet to find out? For me, I think I have found one of the things that makes me happy. But there is still a long way to go. Rather, many miles to go. I will sign off with my favourite picture. It was taken recently in Kumbhalgarh, Rajasthan.
You are neverReplyDelete
The pathway transmits
the deer and leopards
come to view
while the monkey,
since he travels too,
from Elephanta caves
and searches keenly
for the khakras.
You can't escape
looking on indulgently,
like a Mom
watching a confident daughter,
as you traipse around
in the midday Sun
an imposing gate
at the Fort.
As all those trees
lining your path,
and as young as you,
" Go ahead ,
and enter those gates;
so many brilliant vistas
lie ahead of you,
for the asking and learning !"
It's great when you discover a fondness for things, just like that - out of the blue. I am glad your travel did that for you. And I just love that pic. :)ReplyDelete
Meandering through the post like a winding highway off Udaipur; this post perfectly sums up the thoughts one would have on the road - traveling solo!ReplyDelete
Your first, and I hope there are many more. Good on you Neha!
Interesting, more so because I reciprocate the similar thoughts what you presented here. All I say is- a good solo experience while finding thyself and ending up writing is a blissful one! Cheers my friend!ReplyDelete
Yup! traveling alone means time for yourself to contemplate on your purpose and you are at your own pace to experience and indulge. The best traveling experiences for me has been those I did aloneReplyDelete
Yap,travelling alone is a different experience.In fact,most of the people one talks to of their experiences would say it was nice but,would have liked going through this alone.ReplyDelete
Well,I can see you walking towards the Fort alone.
I felt you travel even when you write with your thought process and ideas and things coming to your mind.ReplyDelete
Kumbhalgarh...excellent place to visit during monsoon.
Interesting and nice picture. The blue color of the sky is too good.ReplyDelete