Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Things I am proud of..


Some Tags are just meant for you, like this one. This tag is started by IHM. When Ugich Konitari and Deeps tagged me, I commented on Ugich Konitari's blog saying that I would take it up as soon as I complete my Delhi trip series. But no, the super excited me could not even stick to her word for more than an hour. 

I have always been a tomboy most my life. These days, my clothes are more feminine and wardrobe has only a couple of loose tees. My shoe collection has a couple of "Matching" chappals with Indian outfits and I cook! Sigh!! But this tag is all about most of the things I have been doing and getting those annoyed looks from people around me. Enough of blabbering I guess. Let me straight away take up the tag. 

In this tag, you are to list at least ten things you have ever wanted or done which your gender is not supposed to.

Here it goes:
1. I love to play all kinds of sports. Football is something I enjoy playing during monsoon (well, who doesn't!). During my school days, I loved playing football in the rains, sliding in the mud purposely and get dirty; when my skin burnt while taking a hot shower, I realised where all I had got bruises. More the bruises, cooler it is.

2. Pardon me, but I have to write this in hindi, so that you get the exact feel of the ermmmm act. Hum 4-5 friends ne mil kar ek ladke ki pitai ki thi. I was the only girl in the group. That guy was bullying all the juniors all the time. shaana ban raha tha, to usko dho daala :D

3. I have jumped walls, dividers near churchgate station, climbed on tanks, water pipes, jumped from the first floor for fun and sprained my ankle.

4. I have drunk thums up 300 ML bottoms up in seven minutes. My eyes were watering for at least half an hour after that. My competitor lost to me and he had to sponsor my contribution for the next day cricket match.

5. I played cricket with guys at least five years elder to me. I used to be a fielder usually at mid on, I had an amazing aim and number of run outs under my name. Though I never got to bat and bowl (as I was a girl), but my run outs were considered (obviously).

6. I am the son for my father in law. If he has any work, or he wants to discuss something, or even if he wants to go for his medical check up, he takes me or consults me. I am aware about everything that happens in his life and not his son. Needless to say, my husband is very proud of this fact.

7. I have attended almost all the weddings in shirt and denim/formal pants before marriage. That's the dress code for guys right? 

8. I always played male character in school plays. Especially negative characters. One of the characters that I enacted was that of Naththuram Godse - the assasin of Mahatma Gandhi. He was the lead character of this play and I won too. (a bit of show off is allowed right?)

9. Now, one big confession. In my school time, just for the sake of it, I once went in the men's loo!

10. I am a woman but I walk like a man. I have zero elegance in me. My accent is typical Mumbaiya tapori one when I am around people whom I know very well. Only one thing makes me a real female. I am not interested in females. I am very much straight!

Now I tag Insignia, Guria, Shilpa Garg, Gayathri, Dhiman, Nazish, Merlin, Panorama, Holy Lama, Destiny's Child, Harini and whoever wants to take up this tag.


Monday, June 28, 2010

A Future (Not) So Bright

The following post is in the form of a Limerick. Limerick is a humorous, often risque, verse of five lines with the rhyme scheme aabba.


One day I told my father: “I want to achieve instant success.
I am tired of getting sidelined; power is all I want to possess."
He asked me one question,
Whether I want to be a politician
Maybe yes, but tell me more about the Indian political process.


Father said:

People like LPY, did Fodder Scam and made a big name.
During this time, the mother of 9 kids played political game.
Now Railway ministry salutes him,
All his scams seem so dim.
No NK or MSY can snatch his hard earned precious fame.


We have names like VRD with his actor son and director friend,
for upcoming movie publicity, he walked on the terrorized land.
Though his act took away his chair,
But the damage did quickly repair
With The high command giving him power and a strong ministry stand. 
 

A criminal with lifetime imprisonment can still rule the state,
All Evidences against him fail miserably on the judgment date.
Though his crime roots are deep,
But Judiciary is his personal keep,
Acquittal is the only outcome; at any cost and at any rate.


These are but a few names in the endless list;
Their Mantra is simple – cut a throat or bend a wrist.
Progeny of a powerful generation
are in the very best position.
who follow old footsteps and become another chauvinist.


Now I am thinking,

Indian Politics is the best option, for my father is a minister.
He committed a murder, a few rapes and became sinister.
That’s the required qualification,
To enter into politics profession,
I will not have to pass any exam or clear any semester. 
 

I already have a few molestation cases booked under my name
Murder will be accomplished, if opposition plays a dirty game
I am now going my father’s way
Oppositions, better start to pray
I am going to rule the state and get away with all the shame.



The Reality

This is the scenario of our country’s politics even today.
Murderers and criminals rule the states; find their safety way.
Success is all they strive to achieve
Unethical is nothing – they believe.
All they want is power-position-money, come what may.

Become a criminal and politics will welcome you with an open arm
Bigger offenses and more publicity will help you spread your charm
Your errors will be corrected
Your black money will be protected
In the name of ancestral property & farmer’s land without any harm.

Friday, June 25, 2010

Delhi Trip - Part 1

Delhi Trip - is the name of one of the most memorable trips of my life so far. It was arranged by my Law college for the Supreme Court and Parliament visit in my last year of LLB. The seats were limited - only 30 students were allowed to visit the parliament, thus our college decided to take only 30 of us for the entire trip. Now it is always a big advantage to have two organizers in your group of 12. We got to know about the trip and limited seats well in advance; and our collage had made sure that last year students must get a preference over other students. The result of this rule was - all 12 of us were going to Delhi.

The dates of the trip were finalized. We were supposed to leave from Mumbai on 26th February and return on 3rd March- the Holi day. The moment final list of the names was displayed on the notice board, our discussions started about the trip. Now typical girls, that too majority of them are Gujaratis, and not carrying food in the train? Theplas, Kachoris, chewdas, naan khatais were few of the food items decided by us to carry in the train as eating outside food may harm our digestion system even before we reach Delhi.

The pre-trip plans started in college a fortnight ago with professors giving us warnings so that we behave ourselves in the Parliament and Supreme Court, and they thought and hoped that we would listen to them! Yes, they took a proper lecture for giving us instrustions about do's and don'ts on the trip, which was ermmm, more of a joke for us! Imagine, if a professor instructs you not to giggle during a Parliament session, won't you remember it at the Parliament and laugh?

Somehow we managed to survive the warnings and instructions and those killer glares that D and I got the most as we were the most irregular bunch of students around and the professor must be seeing us for the first time ever!

26th February 2007 - the beginning.

We reached Bandra Terminus at around ten o'clock to board the Pashchim Express. The excitement of going on a "College Picnic" was beyond words. My husband came to drop me at the station as I had forced him for that. Reason - my friends wanted to meet him. Poor guy could not tolerate giggly girls for more than 10 minutes and left from there with a pleading look. I assured him that i would not fight with him because of this.

Again, our dear organizer friends came to us as soon as our group was left alone by the super excited juniors. We were asked to reserve the "safe" seats to avoid smelly loos. We got settled in the "setting wali" seats and the clich├ęd but most enjoyable game started - Antakshari. We must have sung almost all the songs of all types including those awful item songs. The snacks bought by us were forgotten long back and we were eating anything and everything that was coming in the compartment from bhelpuri to mung ki daal ke vade, massala milk, tea, coffe and what not!

we did not even realize how time passed by. We took our respective berths and went off to sleep. Next morning, we noticed a few changes in the errrrr, sleeping arrangement, but we assumed nothing wrong happened :P

Actually, I am not entirely sure about it. I think I will confirm the facts from the original sources and share it in part 2. I so wanted to write the Supreme Court Visit experience and Parliament experience in this post itself, but it is getting too long. Let me save all the fun for the next one.

PS: This post is a special dedication to all my law college friends who made this trip the most memorable one for me. Love you guys :)

PPS: It's my friend M's birthday today. She was one of the main pranksters in our gang ;) Happy Birthday girl. Loads of love..

Monday, June 21, 2010

Loosing money Quitely

Those of you who are wondering what's wrong with me, why such a title, have i lost it etc. etc., please read on before writing me off as a writer. And those of you who did not find any errors in the title, this post is meant for you.

Now, let's be honest here. How many of you have come across such people who make such errors? How many posts write quite instead of quiet and vice versa? Is it loose motions or lose motions? Well, in case of motions, both are equally dangerous, still, imagine losing motions! Or, lose denim and loose weight!


It's difficult for many to decide where they are supposed to use its and it's. Many make this common error. Such glaring errors do happen, as to err is human. But repeating the same thing again and again even after being corrected - erm, is it still called human? 

And those - I didn't knew, I didn't went types. Again, a common mistake people make. And when you try to correct them, their response will be "haan haan, English to sirf tumko hi aati hai. Hum to gavaar hai!" At least i have stopped to point out sms lingo when it comes to reading blogs. Wud, cud, your (you are), ur (your) and such get on my nerves; but I ignore that post altogether.

Now comes the common most error. this is something we are not taught in school, but it has always been present in our regular conversations. Yesterday Night - almost all of us say this. But my logic and understanding think otherwise - yesterday means previous day and yesterday night means previous day night - how is it possible to have day and night together? Is it day before yesterday night or night before the last? I am sure the creators of the words - last night and night before the last must have been stupid and illogical! How can they prove 90% of us wrong?

Do you have long hairs? Or is it hair? But we have many hairs right? What do you think?

Now let me guess, after reading this post, how many of you will choose not to comment? Guilty speaks? Remember, I have read your posts and known you well, thus this post.

So, what do you prefer? Loose motions or lose motions?

Image Courtesy: http://listverse.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/normal-spelling-errors.jpg

Friday, June 18, 2010

Scratch it out - Officially

I think this is the most popular tag that has been doing rounds these days. I was tagged by Venky first and then by my Guria - indirectly. 

Some tags are fun to do; so is this one. This tag is pretty simple. I don't have to whack my brain to look for the answers here. I simply need to strike out the things I have not done so far. Hoping not to get many scratches. Here it goes:
  1. Graduated high school.
  2. Kissed someone.
  3. Smoked a cigarette.
  4. Got so drunk you passed out.
  5. Rode every ride at an amusement park. (I am scared of the smallest of merry-go-round)
  6. Collected something stupid.
  7. Gone to a rock concert.
  8. Helped someone.
  9. Gone fishing. (It's not a trend in India)
  10. Watched four movies in one night. (I have watched three)
  11. Lied to someone.
  12. Snorted cocaine.
  13. Smoked weed.
  14. Failed a subject.
  15. Been in a car accident.
  16. Been in a tornado.
  17. Watched someone die.
  18. Been to a funeral.
  19. Burned yourself.
  20. Run a marathon. (Mumbai Marathon counts too right?)
  21. Cried yourself to sleep.
  22. Spent over 10,000 bucks in one day.
  23. Flown on an aeroplane.
  24. Cheated on someone.
  25. Been cheated on.
  26. Written a 10 page letter. (but will write one soon post mid August ;))
  27. Gone skiing.
  28. Been sailing. (I am feeling so bad for point 27 and 28!)
  29. Cut yourself.
  30. Had a best friend.
  31. Lost someone you loved.
  32. Got into trouble for something you didn’t do.
  33. Stolen a book from the library.
  34. Gone to a different country. (I have not even been to Bangladesh!)
  35. Watched the Harry Potter movies.(each one at least 40 times)
  36. Had an online diary.
  37. Fired a gun.
  38. Gambled in a casino.
  39. Been in a school play.
  40. Been fired from a job.
  41. Taken a lie detector test.
  42. Swam with dolphins.
  43. Voted for someone on a reality TV show.
  44. Written poetry.
  45. Read more than 20 books a year.
  46. Gone to Europe.
  47. Loved someone you shouldn’t have.
  48. Used a colouring book over age 12.
  49. Had a surgery.
  50. Had stitches.
  51. Taken a Taxi.
  52. Had more than 5 IM conversations going on at once.
  53. Been in a fist fight.
  54. Suffered any form of abuse.
  55. Had a pet. (Will never have one either)
  56. Petted a wild animal.
  57. Had your own credit card & bought something with it.
  58. Dyed your hair.
  59. Got a tattoo.(yeah, a dolphin :))
  60. Had something pierced.
  61. Got straight A’s.
  62. Known someone personally with HIV or AIDS.
  63. Taken pictures with a webcam.
  64. Lost something expensive.
  65. Gone to sleep with music on.

Phew!! This was taxing. I tag all the tag lovers to take this up. C'mon guys, scratch it out officially!

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Socially Anonymous


Social Networking Sites - the more I think about those, the more they amuse me. Blogging is one kind of a social networking too. Here, you find many writers. A few of them are good too. They interact with you, invite you to visit their space too to again, interact with them.

As the trend goes, many bloggers have anonymous identity. They do not want to reveal their true self to people due to various reasons. I have already blogged about it. Those who remember my post - Hidden Identity will know what I am talking about. And the rest of you, do read that too (free publicity).


But these days, one thing is a trend - opening a facebook account with the blog pseudonym. Bloggers have two accounts - one is their real self account and the other is that of their blog name account. Anonymity can be socially active too. Hmmm.

Again, some pseudonyms are still fine, for they sound like a name of the person at least, even though they are the names of things or adjectives; still passable. But with the kind of names people have for their blogs, oh my! You start wondering whom you are interacting with - the real person or a fragment of imagination.

No exaggeration here people. There are some whose facebook names are like - let's start a conversation over a cup of tea (yes, people do have such names), or The depressed Disaster wants to be your friend on facebook, The Headless Love likes your status and such.

Even after adding other bloggers on their facebook, and after interacting with them nth time, you are clueless about the real person behind the pseudonymous account. A pseudonymous interaction can happen over blogs too, same discussion can happen there as well, still a separate account? Hmmm.

I am too dumb to get the logic behind these things, as my Blog name and real name are the same. I am so easily found on facebook, and I so easily reject the friends' requests I do not want to accept. I find it better than opening a Neha's Blog - Something about Everything facebook account for bloggers. Imagine managing two accounts and adding myself in my friends' list! Phew! I will be confused about my real identity.

I have been friends with my favourite blogger on facebook. She has two accounts too. Her pseudonym account is G and real one is S. Now it so happens that she keeps switching between these two accounts time and again without informing me when I am chatting with her. Sometimes, she logs in from both the accounts and pings me. I am confused about whom to give more priority as I love both equally. Poor me!!

Now I seriously hope that those of you who love to be anonymously active on these sites, how do you manage? And will you please not remove me from your friends' list after reading this post? I do love your Hidden Identity too!

Monday, June 14, 2010

Adult Education - English Lessons

Team This post has been published by me as a team member of Tiger Trails Team for the SUPER 5 round of Bloggers Premier League (BPL) – The first ever unique, elite team blogging event in the history of blogging world. To catch the BPL action and also be part of future editions and other contests, visit and register at Cafe GingerChai







One fine day, marriage happened to me too. As the tradition goes in most of the Indian families, close relatives stay back for a day or two to know the new member in their family. And there I was, in the middle of our living room, with all the relatives surrounding me, looking excited and curious to know more about this beautiful and talented daughter in law (DIL). But the super excited person was my Aunt in Law (name withheld and relationship changed to protect her identity).

It had always been my Aunt in Law’s dearest wish to master the English language. She was in love with it more than she loves her husband. My entry was a bliss for her as I was the scapegoat she was looking for all along. There I was, the shy and obedient DIL, all set to win the heart of my Aunt in Law, agreed to take up the challenge instantly. Now I was her new English teacher, and she became my cook. Oops, I mean cooking teacher and in no time, we bonded over things like her love for English, family, recipes and experiments.

Once we happened to be in the kitchen together when she was preparing suji halwa (an Indian sweet dish). Pretty much engrossed in her cooking, she asked me to switch on the Jerox fan. There I was, controlling my laughter so hard that I almost started crying. Luckily her love for cooking didn’t let her notice my expressions and she again asked me to put on the jerox fan and check on cottage cheese that she had kept to magnet. Trying hard to keep a straight face, I gave her my first ever tuition minus the professor designation. (Sigh!) I corrected her two mistakes that she made in less than 30 seconds. Though in laws look very sporting when they propose that they want to learn something from you; but when it comes to pointing out their mistakes, then ahem! I would advise you to bury your wish of flaunting talent and create a good impression!

But I love to lock horns with trouble all the time, and at such times this lawyer suddenly becomes too honest for her own good, I told my Aunt in law that it is called as an exhaust fan and not Jerox fan. We marinate cottage cheese, magnate is a wrong term.

Ah, I still cannot forget that sweet killing look on her face followed by the murmur “Angrez chale gaye, Angrezi chhod gaye!” (British left, leaving behind English language). But her enthusiasm for learning the language took over the feeling of hurt ego saving my half cut neck! Each day I taught her a few words, and each day she forgot the previous day lesson.

With my cousin sister in law’s (SIL) wedding around the corner, our English lessons were forgotten completely. We were staying at my cousin SIL’s place on the previous day of the d-day. We were helping out the girl’s family with last minute wedding preparations. My job was to make the list of things we may require on the D-day. My Aunt in law was helping me out with the names. She asked me whether or not I had included albums in the list. A bit curious, I asked her for what purpose we needed the albums without adding that photos will developed at a later stage and albums will be provided for free (typical female mentality!). I was lucky enough not to have added that line, as she said that we needed albums to put cash in it to give to the Groom, Punditji and my cousin SIL!

And yes, she called albums – envelope! By Jove! Who would have guessed that now!

Now I am very well versed her fantastic English. We are back to our Student – Teacher mode, with me correcting her same mistakes. Album is still the envelope and vice versa; Happy Anniversary is still happy annisersary or annisrary or simple – Happy Marrij Day, vegetables – vejibels, school is ischool, last month, a year back or ten years back is still called as day before yesterday (I don’t know why) and such. Each day, I correct her. Few words she tries to learn, while few words have become from exhaust fan to “that” fan, or Neha wala fan! But yes, thanks to her, I have almost mastered cooking. She is a wonderful teacher for this once upon a time horrible cook.

After all, someone learnt something! The only problem is that the family considers me a fantastic learner but a pathetic teacher! Still things go on in our lives. It feels good to see her putting in efforts to learn the language. After all, one does not have to be a master of all trades right? I am very much happy with her slow progress.

Ok, let me be honest here. Imagine, if she learns English pretty fast and wants to join facebook, then what will happen to me and my status updates that have trivia like - "what is a jerox fan?"

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Hidden

I always have a smile on my face. I share your happiness and laugh with you. I laugh with you when I am not happy. I laugh with you when there is a storm of sadness killing me from within. I reveal the smile; while my sadness is hidden.

I leave everything behind and come with you. I leave everything behind even when I don't want to. I leave everything behind because I am asked to. Nobody sees my sorrows, nor do they notice my pain. My duty is all that matters, my emotions stay hidden.

When I cry and shed a tear, you think it is a tear of joy. A tear of joy to express my happiness. A tear of joy to celebrate your success. Joy is all that you see, tear is all that remains, while the truth is hidden.

I am the pillar of my family. I have to be strong enough to face the challenges. I have to be strong enough to take care of the weak you, I have to be strong enough to take care of the weak me. If you break down, you are human; if I break down, I am weak. My support is all you need; my weakness must always be hidden!

You see my face to judge my beauty. You see my clothes, to judge my outer self. You look at me and smile. Your smile is for the person I am not. You smile is for the person you want me to be. My mask is appreciated, but my inner beauty is forced to stay hidden..

People call me mysterious. But I am merely the person I have been forced to be. My mystery is my sadness and weakness, my emotions and my thoughts; each and every reaction of me you don't want to see. Each and every reaction of me that you are scared of. Each and every reaction of me which you want to believe that it does not exist.

All I want is acceptance. All I want is acceptance of my wishes. All I want is acceptance of ME - the way I am - my individuality. All I want is an acceptance of the person that I am and not the person you want me to be.

I want you to be proud of the REAL ME and the HIDDEN ME. I want to be the same person from outside and from within.

I am a woman and I want to be myself. I am a woman and I want to feel proud of being one...

Monday, June 07, 2010

How to become famous - Ten ways



I have observed this a lot of times that most of the bloggers care about only the number of comments they want on their blog, and they do not know how to get the magical number of 100 comments. So all you amazing bloggers who love receiving 100s of comments, here are ten golden rules to get maximum number of comments on your blog. The rules are simple to follow, no complications at all! they are: 

1) Choose the topic that has some kind of discriminating factor.

2) Blog hop a lot and leave an “over the board” comment on others’ post. They are bound to visit your page after you have left many praises on their post. If the post favours them, they will praise you back and may add you in their follow list. If they dislike your post, they will still leave a fake comment praising you.

3) Agree with your readers. But ask them questions. They will come back and reply again. The number and length of comments will keep on increasing.

4) Do not write a new post for the next seven days.

5) Publish your post at all possible social networking sites.

6) After three days, once the traffic starts decreasing; blog hop again, leave a nice comment, call the blog owner intelligent, leave your post link and ask for his/her views on it.

7) After another day, follow step two again.

8) Next day, follow step three.

9) All this while, you only keep posting anonymous comment on your post that is opposing and replying to others. Enjoy the game being played among your readers.

10) In those seven days, think about your second topic and mention it in bold and capital letters in your comment form and other social networking sites.

Do this exercise. I am sure you will get more than 100 unique hits per day. Activate Adsense and earn money. Moreover, you will be considered as one of the finest bloggers. Additionally; add all your readers/followers as your facebook friends. Now you are secured that they will always come back and read your post and comment as they are your "friends" now.

This is just my general observation about this strange blgoworld. My personal opinion.  I have not followed these rules. That's the reason i do not even get 50 comments! So, all of you who have asked me about how to get lots of comments, here is the answer!


PS: (no) Pun intended


PPS: I had published the same post my other blog. You can call this a re-post.

Friday, June 04, 2010

Philosophy for dumb me!

Life - isn't it the simplest complication? 

Errrr, did that make sense to you? At least it didn't to me. Don't worry people, you are as sane as me! But still, let's try and break this code. Or, whatever!

Philosophically speaking, life is simple - as you live it, you experience it and it goes with you as much as you go with it. Complicated - as you don't know where it takes you or what it does to you. Whether you will have this life the very next minute or not, you ain't sure about it.

On a second thought, isn't philosophy boring and not applicable at many places? For me, it's actually scary. I am scared of people who are very philosophical as I feel so dumb in front of them. Their "Thinking out loud" mode is much more intelligent than my lawyer self!



The scarier was when my G turned into a philosopher and wrote a nice post on Apologies. It is indeed a wonderful post, but this side of her was very much new to me. I have got all brilliant people around me it seems!

I have heard that the easiest way to become philosophical is to get drunk. Anybody can become philosophical in that state. In Mumbaiya Hindi, they say, after three pegs, people even start giving raag about anything and everything.

But when I think about it, all I can visualise is the Yugpurush! If you watch Hindi movies, even the flop ones I mean, you will know what i am talking about. Otherwise, see the image below. This is the closest one I could find to Yugpurush.


Now, all those who are philosophical, please don't frown at the screen. These are my view points about philosophy and I think you all are highly intelligent. My problem is that I am way too dumb to understand it; rather you can say, it is not my cup of tea. No offense meant to anybody.

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

The Age'ing Factor


When we were kids, the only wish we had was to grow up as soon as possible so that we get rid of studies, homework, exams, surprise tests and restrictions. How much we prayed to have a life with freedom, job that can buy us all the toys and games that we we need. Girls pretended to be 16 at the age of 14 just to enjoy the label of sweet 16. And at 16, she couldn't wait to become adult!

After entering in the twenties, a lady grows old by one year every ten years. And by mistake you ask her about her age, then god also cannot save you! 

Women are more mature than men - they claim; and it is said that maturity comes with age. Ah, we are indeed confused species. We do not know what exactly we want from life - maturity or forever young image!

There are so many products available in the market for a lady to look young forever. And they all sell like crazy all the time! There are wrinkle lifting creams, acne removal creams, forehead lines and under eye lines removal creams and what not! An upper middle class lady even undergoes surgery to look young.

That way, a man is so sensible and lucky! He does not have to worry at all about the wrinkles on his face or under eye bags. You won't find any products which are meant for men to lift their wrinkles. So what if they use fairness creams? At least no wrinkle lifting creams for them so far!

In fact, it is said that the older a man becomes, the smarter he looks (in quite a few cases) especially with his salt-n-pepper hair. And a lady with grays? A complete no no. I wish I were a man!

But with time I have learnt one thing (though I am not that old) - growing old is inevitable while growing up is optional. Why to hide your age and come across as a fool if you get to enjoy the title of a wise lady!

So, what's your age?


Image Source: http://www.efunnycartoons.com/funny-cartoons/110-old-couple-cartoon.gif