Friday, August 20, 2010

Belief and Destiny

Today, I met a very close friend of mine after two months. Now, it may not be a long period for not having met your friend, but for us, it was indeed the longest period since we met last. From first year of commerce college to last year of law school, we used to meet almost everyday and spend at least five to six hours talking about various things. The strange thing was that we never exactly knew what we spoke so much about. Our discussions varied from intellectual to philosophical about opinions and mindsets of people, from academic during exams to mutual admiration ones about how we cleared without studying a word, from lame movie to an interesting book -  we discussed almost everything without getting bored even for a second or without realizing how time passed by.

This went on till 2007, when we were relatively vella in life. After becoming lawyers on paper, we settled in our respective professions - I joined a law firm, and he a hypnotherapy institution. But we still managed to meet and talk almost everyday. When I actually count the number of years I have spent in college, it surprises me and I am sure it will make many of you jealous too. I have enjoyed 11 years as a college student and 12th year is still going on. In these 11 years, I have completed my bachelor degree in commerce and law, master degree in commerce and first year of master degree in law. PHEW, I am a double graduate and almost a double post graduate. I do deserve to enjoy so many years as a college students!

Enough of boasting for one post I guess. Coming back to my friend and our discussions - give us one word, and we can spend days talking about it. And mind you, not those boring, mindless and pointless discussions; but profound, philosophical, sensible and fruitful discussions. To an extent that my friend came up with a website and a book on it. The topic was - Destiny. We must have spent at least two to three months discussing about this one topic. I would have killed him if he had not put those discussions in use.

Many of us think about Destiny. The question starts with - whether you believe in destiny or not. Now again, destiny is like God. It is there if you believe in it and it is not there if you don't. an atheist does not die earlier than the believer of the god, nor a non-believer of Destiny remains poor. Long discussions, a lot of research on the subject, case studies, books, interviews of experts and referring to every possible source available to us (read google), we came to the conclusion that Destiny indeed exists. but not in each and everything around us. There are certain things which are within our control, while certain things are beyond our control. But the function of Destiny does not depend on our capability of doing or not doing something. If we are destined to get something, we get it no matter whether we deserve it or not. 

Now, this theory was not making sense to us at all. We all know that life does not have an "undo" button. We have even experienced that whenever we are determined to do or achieve something, we do so successfully. Then what role does Destiny play here? The next theory was - Belief. We can get anything and everything in life if we strongly believe in it. Sounds illogical? OK, how many times it has happened with us that we wanted something; that something was too small to remember, so we wished for it and forgot all about it. But our subconscious mind registers such things. I will not go into detail; but when we got that thing, that time we suddenly remember that we did wish for it once and now we have it. Have you ever thought about why we got it? We got it as we believed that we would get it. In our mind, not even once the thought of "not getting it" came, there were no negative thoughts whatsoever about it. But our belief was there all along; without our knowledge. Thus, it's ours now. Things we need very badly - we may get them or we may not get them. The reason is simple. We keep thinking about those things - usually negative thoughts. If the force of negative thoughts is greater along with less efforts, we do not get them; but positive thoughts with less efforts - and it's yours :)

Most of us confuse the function of Belief with the outcome of Destiny. According to me, there are only three things which are destined - Birth, Death and Marriage - as these three things result into a birth of new being. Birth - as you are born, Marriage - as a new life is born and Death - as the moment you die, you become a part of soon to be born being; the kid in a female's womb - the day she conceives it and not the day it is born. It can be in a human or non human form, but it does have a life.

But there are couples who remain childless - one may argue that. Thus we cannot say that marriages result into a birth of new being. But there again, the belief system plays its part. And it's proven. Now now, how does that work, how to make it work etc. questions we can take care of, but not on the blog. There are different ways, different therapies and treatments that help you get your belief system in place, to make you realize how you can achieve something you have worked for. But it is not my area of expertise. I know a little bit about these things as I have spent days and years discussing such subjects, what we call in general term - philosophical topics. But philosophy can be interesting for those who learn it. As for you readers, if you are reading this line after reading the whole post, then either you liked whatever I have written (even a bit will do) or you are an avid reader who can read anything and everything that's in front of him/her :)


  1. is this the same guy with tha website destiny's child? that was a nice website..

    despite you warning me that this would be a boring post, di, i did not find it boring!!! i dono if thats coz i dont find philosophy boring or because ur writin wasn boring. but im sure not an avid reader who can read anything!!

    if i start commenting on the topic here, it wud lead to a long discussion... so, i wud just say, i do believe in destiny and belief. miracles do happen. angels do exist and satan too. but it aint like some religious movie and black magic and blah blah. It all gets defined by us and what we do. after all, you deserve what you give to others- be it good or bad. the world is round. what goes around, comes around :)

    cheers :)

  2. @ Chandana, yeah, he is the same guy and the website was - :) oh thank god you could read the whole post :D I agree with you to a certain extent..but about angel and satan - well again, it all comes down to your belief right? Karma - yes I strongly believe in :)

  3. Wow...this is something new from u neha...i guess u in your words'heavy post' type :)
    I believe in destiny and i guess its the human nature which needs to carry on its journey with a hope to achieve it...n hope is a byproduct of belief in destiny!
    A diff post from u n a nice one...honestly:)

  4. Your thoughts on Birth,Marriage and Death is a very Hinduism specific philosophy. The truth of the matter is - there is no single source of truth about life or beliefs. Truth is dynamic and as they say comes with protective layers. You know what you are taught. That is your belief system. For example - for an islamic terrorist killing himself in the name of God is the ultimate truth. For the hindu right wing, Ram Rajya is the ultimate truth. Therefore we ve got to realize that there is nothing called the ultimate truth it is just the existential truth for a limited period of time...and in most cases that is a manufactured mass consent.

  5. Yeh wapas kab aaya?

    I whole heartedly agree to the first part of the post. Even i indulge in such reminiscent conversations each and every time i meet old friends. About chatting away to glory while others were busy cramming just b4 d exams, cursing those frustrating moments and people.. Etc.etc. Its only now that we realise that even after all those frustrating times, life's been good.. All thanks 2 there wonderful people called friends.. Could this be destiny.

    I still have 2 read the second half of the post. The longer part so to say. But had to add this comment.

    A wonderful post. Cheers

  6. Wow!! A philosophical post!!
    Well, I believe in destiny and I also believe in 'Karma'. There are many things which are not in our control, so no matter how much so ever efforts one puts in, the result is zero...
    And many things cannot be achieved until and unless one makes efforts!

  7. @ NR, yeah a heavy post :) I agree with you..hope is all we need in life to carry on..thanks..glad you liked it :)

    @ GB, well, I never got into the detailed study on this subject..but somehow this theory made sense to me and I wrote about friend did research about all the religions and their philosophies..knowledge is belief as you correctly said.. thank you :)

    @ Shrikant, ye wapas aaya 15th ko..lekin he is again going out of town next week..mindless discussions with friends make the relationship so beautiful right?

    @ Shilpa, as I made my point there, things are not in our control as we believe that they are not..if we try and change that belief, many things will be changed for sure :)

  8. I believe in destiny up to a certain point but it can only take you there half way, The other half you need to go yourself. I have often marvelled at those who predict future by reading kundalis or palms. They do manage to predict your future in many ways. A lot things have come true for me, even though I didn't quite believe it then. So yes, destiny has a huge role to play. And on the other hand, some things never happen...?
    So it there is nothing that is 100% certain in life apart from birth and sure about marriage...many remain unmarried.

    A though provoking post, Neha:-)

  9. Reading "The Secret" are we, or have read it before?

    I do not emphasize a lot on destiny personally, but belief, I 'believe', plays a major role.

    Though, I did not understand the Venn Diagram. Care to explain?

  10. I am a firm believer in destiny and I have faced situations which justify that irrespective of one's plans and planing, it is the destiny which leads the path.You will be surprised that circumstances change in a way that take you towards the destined goal.That is no justification for one not putting in efforts,but respect God's will and accept destiny.
    To give you an example,recently I wrote about my sister-in-law's death and it was only that day day she moved into a new house in the evening, and after dinner, it was all over.She was not destined to stay in that house.May be I have been able to put my point across.

  11. the truth of life is that Death is fix for everyone and if any gunda fires you on using AK 47 no one can save you.
    Hope got the point.

  12. Nice to a philosophical side of you. Well, Fate and destiny are two different things. Fate is a choice given to you, to choose your destiny. For example, You aspired to be a lawyer and thats your destiny. But am sure fate has thrown lot of challenges and choices in between. Its what you chose, made your destiny. And of course that choosing comes from your belief and courage!

    //If we are destined to get something, we get it no matter whether we deserve it or not. //

    I dont much agree with that line. At least partly. If we do not deserve something, we wont value it and eventually we wont have it for long. If we read the line literally, then probably yes, we may get things but am sure they wont stay that way for ever if we dont deserve it or earn it. :)

    Well written !

  13. you're tagged

  14. Well I am an avid reader but I really liked the way u explained the whole topic. :)

    U broke it down into very simple, related and easy to understand parts... The line where u mentioned "destiny is like God. It is there if you believe in it and it is not there if you don't." So true...I too discuss these topics sometimes with ppl who have views opposite to me (I am a believer..!!) and still I manage to support my points and they can also go on debating or discussing...!! Nothing is absolotely right or wrong... In the end, its all a matter of belief truly...!!

    I'll just tell u abt an incident tht happened today. I had a frnd for arnd 2 yrs wen I went to some classes.We travelled by the same bus route too during tht time. Now tht class is ovr and we hardly meet but sometimes all of a sudden, when I come from somewhere and wait for the bus at the stop, I happen to meet him there..!! Today while I was waiting for the bus there alone, I suddenly remembered him for a moment and know wat..??? after abt 5 mins, he was standing in front of me... n then it struck me.. "Arey I just thought about meeting him..." I told him too tht I just of him a while ago, but he turned it into a joke..!! Doesn't matter, I know I did think..!!

    I have read at some places that it is more of ur belief than ur destiny that leads to where you are... I guess thats true because we have the POWER TO ATTRACT from the universe.. I think Marriage is more of belief than Destiny...!!

    Before I go on and on, have u read "THE SECRET."???

    I would surely like to talk about such topics again for sure... and whoaa.. U have got really a bunch of degrees and u r teaching too right...?? Hw is it going..??U r going to be in enjoying college for a long time yaar...TEACHER / STUDENT - does it matter..!!!???? ;)

    Njoy..TC :)

  15. I always believed in destiny.. but I never wanted to know what's gonna happen next.. and its impossible too..

    If I think back.. every event of the life would have helped in some way or other to be where I am..

    but if I think too much on these lines I get confused!!!! so leaving it there :)

  16. Destiny and belief.

    These 2 parameters are confused often isnt it? There are set of people who are lazy and leave it to destiny. Which is kinda stupid.

    And yeah there are few things thats dont work the way you want it to; things which are destined to be that way. However they do happen; or not happen for some reason which I believe is for your good.

    Belief; yes its a positive approach. Eases you to achieve something you believe in; by giving that strength and confidence. All positive thinking.

    You told me to read this post if I wanted to sleep. :-P I am not getting any sleep now. What to do?

  17. Hi! Neha,
    Post proves you did have those long discussions about the so called philosophical topics, you know i dint have belief in destiny, but some instances forces us to believe, never have i thought i would be a blogger or rather pen a few lines but the desert and its leisure time made me lets believe

  18. Well.... Very Heavy Topic... I was not believer of Destiny ones but since incident of last few years of my life, I believe in Destiny very much and It is hard to fight with it. I believe, First Accept what destiny gives and than deal with it in your own limits.
    My dad has Parkinson now and He had very good health before that so It was shock for all. Plus Parkinson is not curable 100%, at max you can reduce effects by continuous medicines. It is destiny, I can't do anything about that. I am in IT field and Surat is not the place for IT, my hometown. It is also destiny. I can not do anything about this but still I want to take care of my dad, so what I do, I changed my job from Pune to Mumbai and go Surat on every weekend. and It is much relief.
    So..... My mantra is go simple, don't do much fight with destiny... accept it and try your best in the given situation...

  19. Who better than Destiny's child to comment on this, right? ;)
    My views on destiny are pretty much like yours. Birth and death are beyond us. Marriage too, to an extent. My policy is to take life as it comes. We can definitely write our own destiny but somethings are just beyond us, that is where we need to accept things.

  20. Your post has compelled me to think :)

    Destiny, Karma are concepts that I have only heard of...never given it a thought :)

  21. Nice thought provoking post Neha :) I loved the way you have linked all these together. I dont believe much in destiny. And agree probably those 3 things are not under our control.

  22. very philosophical ..

    but dont you think if we have BELEIF we can change our DESTINY..

    Birth and death are not in our hands they can come anytime.. but yeah is we are good and be good ot others or at least try to be one then life can become easier to live.

    Life thrwos a lot of stuff at us how we deal with it is what makes our destiny, everything has TWO ways the right or the wrong.. But then again those are according to US, I beleive that no decision is WRONG.. its just at that moment or time it was the right decision..

    earlier little things hurt me a lot i dont know why, but now as i am growing up they hardly matter because there are bigger problems which take up our time.

    I dont agree with "If we are destined to get something, we get it no matter whether we deserve it or not. ".. the question is HOW do we know if we were destined to have it or NOT.. just because we think so doesnot make it right..

    I do agree that positive thoughts do make a difference ..

    Philosphy is indeed very interesting and I love it cause whatever one says or writes there is always a WHY or HOW in end :)
    and NA interesting post and i did read it all.. and liked it tooo..

    another thing that i cant do much at this time he hehehehehehe :) kidding..

  23. I always had this huge respect to law students..the amount of reading you do..and philosophy is something I always love to I could read your last line of the blog post too

  24. I am always confused about this topic Neha. I do believe in Destiny. All the same I also sometimes believe Life itself is quite meaningless, considering we all die some day or the other, and in the larger scheme of things, NOTHING MATTERS!!! Call me crazy, but I don't have any specific opinion on this topic. Nice post, though :-) And your last sentence, ROFL :-)