Let's judge everyone. It's free.

It's so easy to offend people these days. All you need to do is post something online on any social networking site. They call it sly post in fancy language. Some anonymous person is hiding behind his 10k phone, judging you for the acts you have done. He is neither paid for it nor does it change his life in any manner. But they say that attention is priceless. And you can get it without doing much.

I feel sick. I see everyone passing judgement about every damn thing that happens around. Oh she eloped and got married? Such a characterless girl. He left his parents and moved out? He will realise how it feels when his child does the same to him. She got divorced? She must be at fault. Her husband seemed like a nice guy. Oh look at that poor man, posting emotional statuses. His wife is such a bitch. Left him for no reason. He loves her so much.

The list goes on and on. The victim suffers. Because of certain narrow minded assholes. The society consists of them. They are everywhere. Nothing ever helps to reform them. Some of them are more educated than the victim. Victim is actually a wrong word. But that's the only word most understand. Have you ever wondered why so many people are victimised and most still don't prefer to raise their voice? Because they are scared that the society won't accept them if they go against the rules made by the society.

And it's true. Being a lawyer, I have come across so many people who have suffered because the society was unfair to them. Some were brave enough to take a stand, to raise their voice. But I see them struggle today. Post divorce, women simply become an easy target for men, or a taboo. Yes it very much exists in today's world. Parents want to get them remarried asap. Men don't have a better life either. They are constantly judged. And taunted. But they don't live in a state where they have to hide their marital status as they are scared of being vulnerable and easy target.

I must be sounding like someone who still lives in a medieval age, but if you step out of your bubble of a perfect world, you'll see its darker side. It's exposed to those unlucky few. The world is full of abusers. They abuse you physically, mentally and emotionally. They abuse you financially. They abuse your individuality, your reputation, your life, your heart and mind. These abusers live in your house, in your neighbourhood, at your workplace, they travel with you in public transport, they are reading your updates on social networking sites.

How are you going to run away? How will you get rid of them? Will they ever leave you alone? I guess not but I hope for it. People judge. They will never understand why you did something, why you're what you're today. To understand you, they will have to be you, go through what you did, but you'll pray that they don't have to lead the life you did. Nobody should experience with that side of life. But this side of life is not hidden. Put in efforts to see it. It's right in front of you. Accept it, improve it. Don't make a face when you see it. Make this world a better place for the ones who deserve to lead a respectable life too, just like you do.

The girl anonymous

16th December was a very sad and shameful day for our country.  One girl was gang-raped by 6 men and thrown out of the running bus. I tried to write the details and the state of her when she was thrown out, but couldn't. Most of the people know her story anyway. She has been given many names - Nirbhaya, Amaanat, Daamini - but she will always be remembered for whatever she went through in those fourteen days that she was alive. She will always remain anonymous, yet the most popular person.

Three days before her death she was shifted to a hospital in Singapore for organ transplant. Her intestines were beyond repair and her liver was damaged too. When they moved her to Singapore, she was brain dead already. She finally breathed her last on the 29th early morning.

So many questions are still haunting me about this whole incident. First one - why was she taken to Singapore of all the places? Yes, that was the closest and European countries would have taken a lot of time to reach. But why transfer her at all. And if her transfer was necessary due to lack of facilities in our capital city, then why didn't they think of Mumbai? What I have known is that people from UK and US come to Mumbai for major surgeries including organ transplant, for it's cheaper and equally good.

Medically, a brain dead person IS dead. Was this just a diversion tactic to move her away from Delhi so that they could declare her dead? I am sure the Government would be expecting riots if she were still in Delhi. Why Singapore? Until recently, I didn't even know that it was popular for organ transplant surgeries.

Post her death, there have been many rallies - peace rallies. She was not the first victim of rape, and she has not been the last one too. After her, a few more incidences of gang rape have come out. People are trying many things to prevent this. They have been suggesting various things like ban republic day celebration, don't celebrate new year (don't know how many actually wasted their new year party pass worth a few thousands), declare a bandh and what not. And such an attitude surprised me.

It was indeed a very sad incident. But what I don't understand is - does banning/not celebrating a particular day change anything? Can't we fight things with a smiling face? Can't we continue doing things we like as well as do our bit to make things better? Being happy doesn't mean you are not sensitive towards things. Taking away someone's right to celebrate is not the solution. one MLA is talking about naming a flyover in her name, one politician is talking about awarding her an Ashok Chakra. Did she fight for the nation? No. Was she in Military? No. Then why Ashok Chakra? And why only her? So many girls die after being raped, but just because things don't come in the limelight, we will conveniently ignore them? And if mourning is the ideal thing to do during such times, then the country will mourn every single day!

The solution is not in banning a day, or declaring a bandh. First thing - strict laws and speedy trials. Why do we take ages to finish one case? And why does the culprit get up to 10 years of imprisonment only? The solution lies in educating people, spreading awareness. Most of the rapists don't even have access to newspapers/televisions. All they must be getting to know is - this girl died and the culprits are famous. It's enough for them to commit a similar crime. All of us have to be a bit alert. Notice people around you. If you find anything unusual about them, report it. If there is an incident of eve-teasing, go file a complaint. Your one step can save one or more lives, including that of yours. Each and every person has to prepare oneself to fight this. There is some hope then.

Again, by this post, I am not saying no to mourning or feeling sad. Everyone is sad. But sadness won't be reduced by curbing happiness. We all need to be happy. We all need some reason to celebrate. And that never becomes a barrier in the good deeds we intend to do.

Yes, she suffered a lot, something unimaginable. It was too cruel and nobody deserved such a painful death. The most important thing she did was that she managed to awake this nation, and united everyone for one cause. Fight for it, but don't limit it to one girl who lost her life. Make her your motivation and fight for safety. Abide by laws first. Say no to tinted windows and glasses. This law is there for a reason. Follow it. Respect women. It doesn't cost anything. If your friend calls a girl who is passing by "maal", tell him to learn to respect women. Do such things than outraging about celebrations.

Help out NGOs. Talk to victims. They need care and attention. Go attend peace rallies, but if you can invest that time in helping some victim or educating someone, it will be better than attending the rallies and peace marches.

A couple of months ago, Haryana Khap leader said that food like chow mein causes rapes. Two days ago, Yo Yo Honey Singh's song became a huge issue as its lyrics were offensive and the Government thought that it caused rape. The song was not even popular until then. The Government declared that they will give fifteen lacs to the Delhi rape victim. Her parents want a law to be named after her, and not flyover, in her honour. 

Yes we live in this country. And we have such leaders. I have not mentioned anything about our media. That's another story altogether. Another post, or two or more.

White collar terrorists

Can you ever imagine a standstill Bombay? If not then visit this city when something happens in the Thackeray family. Bala Saheb Thackeray has not been keeping too well. He was on life support system. When the news channel flashed that he was critical, riots started in various parts of Bombay. In my area, most of the shops were shut down yesterday, only the medical stores were open (thankfully), there were fewer vehicles on the road, not much traffic.

That was not all, Shiv Sainiks visited restaurants and theatres and asked people to vacate those places as their leader was fighting for his life. How could people enjoy normally? How could they smile when Bala Saheb was struggling for each breath? Thankfully he is out of danger now and stable. I dread the day he dies. Looking at Bombay's state when he was critical, I won't be surprised if they declare a Bombay Bandh for 15 days when he dies.

What I fail to see is, why should others stop celebrating when one leader is ill? Shouldn't it be a personal choice? Some people have a problem when younger generation celebrates Valentine's day, they have a problem when you are out on Diwali day, enjoying a quiet dinner with family. How should Bombay people function then? We are more scared of our political leaders than the terrorists. I make my plans after watching the news, and I am sure most of the Bombayites do the same.

It's a sad state that we live under fear all the time - fear of life, fear of death, fear of attack, fear of natural calamity, fear of humans and gods. And we still step out of home and call it spirit of Mumbai or whatever it is called these days. Because we have to survive. Just to get beaten up by one of those nutters who is hitting people as they stepped out on the day their leader was hospitalized, or their auto was stopped and autowala was fined as that leader sneezed thrice! And we live in a democracy.

I have always been proud of my city. Even post terror attack, or train bomb blasts, people resumed their normal lives in no time. Yes there was anger even then, but how pathetic and sad it is when you feel terrorised by your own people. It's not just sad or pathetic, it's suffocating. It makes you hate the best city you have lived in so far. There is no hope for improvement. One mafia goes, another one comes to rule. Children, nephews, grandchildren - everyone knows and wants to enter politics. And spread terror. They are white collar terrorists. They terrorise people and are still respected and followed. And they still get elected, again and again.

I hope they remain immortal and healthy forever. That's the only way we can live peacefully.

PS: Hope they don't kill me because I called them white collar terrorists and not saffron collar terrorists.