Thursday, November 03, 2016

Change is such a strong word for humans!

Backspace makes us good writers. Or maybe lousy ones. The words erased were probably the best we had written. But they no longer exist. Or the ones that replaced them become our best work. Who knows.

This post almost seems like a comeback. Almost because I have been writing elsewhere. And reading a lot too. Now some other place is home. More than a home you can say. So much happened over last two years. People left, new ones came in too. Some made me a better person, while for some, I became the bad one. Things change. Situations change. Circumstances change. People change. 

On a second thought, is change the right word? No. I think change is a very strong word one uses for humans. It's like taking away the right to be what you want to be. Let's replace it with a more positive and slightly accurate word to define the so called change - shift.

I am still the same person that I used to be. I adapted new things. I discarded the old ones. But in the essence, I am still the same old person I know and can relate to. Yes change is a strong word for improving one's self. Change is a strong word for standing up for yourself.

Then there are emotions. Emotions you thought never existed in you. Emotions you never thought you could feel or fight. People you never thought you could live without. And today you are doing just fine without them. And there are new people you think you cannot live without.

We live in phases. We be with different people in different phases. Close friends are not in touch anymore. The person you loved has blocked you everywhere. The person you once admired and was out of your league is now there for you unconditionally. Your happiness is everything to someone. To an extent that they buy something for you first when they go for shopping for themselves. You understand them so well that what they desire, you already have it for them. Small materialistic needs are taken care of even before they are demanded. Don't we all want and dream of such a life?

We invest in our relationships emotionally. It's the degree of that investment that makes all the difference. That's why some things always hurt you even after you claim that you have moved on. And some people hurt you in spite of not being in your life anymore. The hurt is worse if you are holding anger against them. Sadness is easy to deal with, anger is not.

It's funny how we feel so many things at the same time. It's funny how I end up writing such stuff every time I decide to write. I don't even know how I start and where I end. I think I should go back to my break phase.

Friday, April 08, 2016

About Inspiration etc.

Inspiration is such a strong word. It's like doing all the amazing work yourself and give the credit to someone else. Well, that's one way of looking at it. Had it not been for that inspiration, you might not have done that work at all. But is it so? I think not. Something just becomes a medium and you make a big deal of it. 

I have heard this so may times about blogging - I have not been regular as I have lost interest, or there is no motivation anymore. What was that factor that made you write a blog? Do you remember writing your very first post? After publishing it, you may have posted the link on every social networking site, or just pinged your friends on gtalk and asked them to read and comment. Or you may simply have published it under an anonymous name and made sure your friends/family never found out about your blog. 

The way you felt back then while writing the first post and how you feel now while writing one is totally different. When you started writing, you never expected to become so popular or so lost among many popular faces. You never thought you would get so many comments, or you never thought you would be disappointed as not a single person read what you wrote with so much of heart and soul. And yet to write. With the hope that next post will be loved by people. But the frequency reduces. The show becomes less frequent due to the lack of audience. Or maybe not. You keep writing without bothering about such things. But then whom are you writing for? Yourself? Then why not in a more private space? Why a public blog? Why not on a piece of paper or in a diary or in a word file?

I ask myself this often. Why do I write? I love to write, but more importantly, I have fallen in love with the idea of writing that reaches so many people through various mediums. Sharing what I think liberates me. It makes me feel closer to myself. I like to go back to my old posts and read what I wrote a few months ago, a few years ago. The kind of language flow I had, the kind of words I used, my emotions, my opinion, my point of view - everything was so different. I can see myself growing as a person. I can see the difference in Neha a year ago and this Neha. Some things have become better, while others, worse. But they have not been the same. People who used to irritate me a year ago are now dear friends. People whom I loved have become strangers. 

And these emotions, these patterns and these incidences are recorded. Noted. Right here. Six months down the line when I read this post, I will remember what exactly I was going through while writing this post. There is a dilemma that won't even be existing then. I will be laughing about it then, or maybe I will regret about something I should have done and didn't do it. Nevertheless, this phase will seem a lot easier and smaller compared to what I am feeling right now.

Did something or someone inspire me to write? Well, if you call curiosity an inspiration, or shit phase a motivation, or boredom an excuse then yes, you may do so. I think these are just the fancy names we give to something we would do otherwise too if it was a necessity. Keeping a role model is at times just a backup that we choose to fall back. If we cannot repeat the same thing again, or cannot get the same success, we can always get rid of the responsibility by passing the blame buck on the inspiration. Or distraction. Maybe it's the fear that stops up from taking the full credit of our success. 

I do call people my inspirations too. When I want to make them happy. Or to get some work done. It works for me. And them as well. They get motivation. You get good work. Everyone is happy.

Thursday, March 10, 2016

Don't waste your time behind the wrong ones. Move on.

We humans are probably the most unsure specie around. We are never completely sure about what we want. Even when we are, as soon as we get it, we start chasing something else. We hate monotony. We hate boring life even more. How we judge people by how boring or interesting they are. Have you ever met someone who was so boring that you slept through the conversation, and met him again next time? I am sure his number is now saved as "Don't answer".

We judge people all our lives. For their looks, their qualification, their salary, their family and what not. Oh he is 27 and doesn't even earn 3 lacs a month? When I was his age I would make double the money. How can a good looking girl (for guys, every girl they are talking to is by default good looking) like you can date such a fat and ugly guy? The list goes on!

I won't deny being this shallow too once upon a time. But that was when I was stupid. And young. And slowly I learned from my mistakes. I grew up. But some people around me never did. For them looks, success etc still matter more than anything else. They are way too pompous about what they are. And they are always on their toes to pull others down. 

I love self made people. But as soon as they become braggers who start pulling others down (which they claim that they deserve to be so), they are the biggest turn offs. Worse than those living off their parents' money.

Thankfully these are not the only people who exist. There are selfless people too. Who help you and stand by you without any motive, without any expectations. They can do anything for you just because they want to. Just because you matter. Just because they love to. They are made of some different metal. And that is what makes them special. 

And then you take a weighing scale. You measure them. And you realise why you prefer the humble ones more. Why the asshole that you are attracted to will always be your bad decision. Why you need to break free and choose what's right. His achievements sound good to your ears. But they leave your heart empty. You keep looking for them among their achievements, but can never find them. You end up getting lost in their success. 

The other ones just keep waiting for you. Till they can take it. After a point, they move on. When you look behind, they are watching over you, but cannot come to you. You have lost an important part of your life behind the wrong one. Damage control? Maybe, maybe none. Regrets? Plenty.

Every bragger has some traits. Read them in time. Realise what's good for you. If it gives you pain, quit. It's okay to rot alone than to rot in his shit. It won't look pretty after a point. Others' shit never does.

Friday, February 19, 2016

Must Do Things When You Travel Solo

Being a girl, I just can't pack my bags and leave for my favourite destination solo. I have to think about thousand things. Safety, Comfort, Baggage, Destination, Hotel, Flights, Transportation - phew! But there be nothing more fulfilling than travelling solo. Travelling bug bit me four years ago when I went for my first solo trip. Since then, I have been to numerous destinations.

First solo trip. I was excited. And scared. Clueless. Worried. I would google things to do, things to be careful about, where to go and what to avoid every hour. I had made a list of things I would need, numbers that would come handy, hotels and restaurants around the area. Yet I missed out on a lot of things. I overpacked, forgot to carry important stuff, ended up losing safety kits because I was carrying chilly spray and swiss knife in hand baggage (duh)!

Next time, I was careful about those mistakes. And ended up underpacking. (Another duh!) After five odd trips, I mastered the art of getting everything perfect. There are a few things that you must do and must remember.

1. Packing Hacks: Pack light. And by light I don't mean less number of clothes. Always keep separate set of clothes for travelling. Pajamas, track pants and t-shirts are a must. For a winter place, carry more number of tshirts instead of packing a lot of sweatshirts and thick jackets. Layering helps in fighting cold more than one or two thick clothes. Keep a separate travel kit consisting of a toothbrush, paste, shampoo sachets (never carry a bottle. I have faced problems of bottles leaking, that leading to spoiling my entire suitcase), soap/body wash, earbuds, safety pins and nail cutter ready and always check and refill it before every trip. Keep extra plastic bags with you. They come handy to carry dirty clothes. There are some more packing tricks that will help you for sure when you travel next time - for work or leisure. Read this to get some cool tips about packing:

2. Airport Security Hacks: If you are aware about your travel plans well in advance, you get cheap flight tickets these days. Flights save time, they are convenient and safe. But how many times have you lost your possessions at the security check in? That expensive Swiss knife you bought right before travelling alone and those check-in dudes confiscated it? Or that half finished coffee you had to dump in the bin at 5 am before boarding the flight. Here are some things you must remember to avoid security checks hassles:

3. Let your phone guide you: We are one blessed souls. Today the entire world is accessible to us just on a click. We can do without humans but not without our phone. And rightly so. Especially when you are on a move, and in a new city, phone becomes the most important companion for our every need. Again for that you must know the right apps. For hotel booking to flight bookings, to eateries to places to visit - everything is right there if you know the right platform to refer to. Here is a list of some of the apps that you must have when you travel. PS: Don't forget to keep your phone charged.

4. Choose the best hotel: After all, you travel because you deserve that break. And while you make most of the break, make sure you choose your comfort wisely too. We usually end up underestimating this aspect when we travel thinking that we will anyway use the hotel to sleep in. But after going to ten different places in a day, your mind and body require rest and comfort. 

Another very important thing to check before booking a hotel is their laundry service. Yes. Laundry. Because if you want to travel light, you need to re-use your clothes, and for that you need to get the used ones washed. Or how to get rid of sweaty smell from your everyday wear like hats and gloves. Watch this short video to find answer to all those awesome and useful tricks and tips.

I so wish I knew about these things before. But well, I did learn in time. And I am going to save you trouble of learning these on your own. Just follow these tips to make the most and best of your travel. But  do travel. Travel smart. And travel safe.