Monday, April 19, 2010

Honesty is not always the best policy

"Honesty is the best policy"

How many times you have got this gyaan from people around you? Well, they are usually right; but what they (conveniently) forget to add there is an asterisk sign (*) mentioning terms and conditions apply! It is not wise; rather it is the foolish most thing to do to be honest all the time.

For an instance; if your girlfriend asks you whether she is looking fat or not - can you give an honest answer? You can still be a little bit honest with your old wife; but not with the new one or the girlfriend. Rather; any negative comment about her clothes, accessories, looks, hair, tyre/s around her hour glass frame is a complete no no.

Another important thing - you can call it a tip too - Do not use the cliched statement of "there is more to love about you" for your girl when she asks you about her physical appearance!

You can never be honest in your job interviews. I think the image below will convey what I am trying to say more clearly:

Ah, do I need to say anything else now?

Honesty does not work when a traffic police catches you and you refuse to pay him 100 bucks to get away. Try being honest and you will have to spend a night in jail and pay 3000 fine for being honest. Tell me now; why will you fight against corruption and be honest?

But a man is dishonest in most of the cases associated with his wife. When our mother cooks awful food; we either do not eat or we crib non-stop. Try doing it with your wife when she makes a "special dish".

Are we ladies so scary? Any answer anyone?

It so happens that a very close friend of mine - S - is an "all the time jumping from one art to another" artist. And she is usually a disaster in most of the cases. Her experimental careers are painting, singing, jobs (yeah!), writing and what not. I have been fortunate enough not to have seen her art on papers so far; but she made me read a story written by her. Her characters were so confusing that they would be thinking themselves - what exactly are we? (Name not disclosed and gender changed to protect the person's real identity)

I can write five parts of this particular post; but I think I will stop here for now. If I have the mood; I will write another part soon! That reminds me; I don't think I have shared my weird mood swings with you guys; have I? Don't worry. It is not going to be only about getting angry or feeling lonely; but I am going to share my weird mood swings with you; again only if I am in the mood to write about it.


  1. Neha, you are right. One cannot be honest in every situation. But I think what you mean is that certain situations call for some tact and diplomacy and that isn't really dishonest, is it? I sure do not appreciate "honest" comments about my waistline..he he he! I mean, it's not like i don't know...:)
    As for mood are not alone dear.

  2. lolzzz that reminds me how sometimes I have to try hard not be emotionally blackmail my beau ... we women can really scare away guys with our non stop cribbing... :D
    //Try doing it with your wife when she makes a "special dish".// one wrong answer and he would be dead :P
    nice post :D

  3. Let me be 'honest' and tell you that the post was cute.
    We are not honest in wife/girlfriend matters because they 'dont' want an honest opinion most of the time.

    Imagine telling your 'girlfriend' that she looks fat could 'ruin' her entire week, Imagine telling your wife that the dish she cooked was so bad that even monkeys wont eat it. She ll get demotivated for days on end.

    Its not about 'lying', its just about telling the selective truth :P..

    Hamare Jooth se koi khush ho jaye toh bhaiyo duniya main isse bada sukh kaunsa :p

    Ps: U don't even have to pay mamu's 100 bucks, just scooting is the solution. Dhoom machale dhoom machale dhoom :P

  4. Hey Neha, being a man is really a tough job, and the toughest part is handling the women tactfully. . But u already knew that and the same has been accepted by Rajlakshmi. .
    And about ur question "are women scary?" Well do i still need to answer that one!
    Jokes apart, the post was nice and true. . After all, sometimes honesty has to be given up . . But the more the honesty, the better. .

  5. No, it doesn't pay to be honest and that is the reality.
    Men, especially men are not the honest type as they are always cutting corners and are most of their lives are busy pleasing at least on of the following
    Girl friend
    It is impossible to keep any of these three special characters happy ever.The only way out is keep lying and don't get caught.
    The best part is--the one we are lying to is aware of the fact that we are lying. It is an unending cycle.
    But, honestly, isn't it fun?(for once let us be honest)

  6. We do need to be little tactful while commenting on others physical appearance....male or female.At times kids are scary with their honesty...few years back one of our relative an aunt who is known for applying a chalky make up on her face asked me - do i look all right ?She really looked like a ghost and before i could say something one of our four year old niece answered are looking like a bhoot.What happened next was a big drama..the kid's mom was summoned and lectured on that she was not raising her kids rightly and what not.
    Your friends novel sounds very interesting...heee.

    You are right honesty is not always a best policy.My husband USED TO BE very honest with my cooking and weight but now...

    Btw the cartoon above is hilarious.Have a nice day Neha !

  7. Each of us write-erase-write-erase-write definitions as per our suitability maybe. One line said applies within one situation And for other we change the said lines And start using if and but. We - The uncertain always - few are 100%, few 90% few 40% but we all are uncertain.

  8. Having mentioned gender change u have already .. indicated the gender of the person .. in question .. :P

  9. Hi! Neha,

    Truly said..honesty is not the best policy....but depends on situations...thats all, we can or may even lie as the truth may be painful, i had this situation last week where i had to ask a friend of mine to leave home urgently coz his father passed away, but i could not tell that directly right?
    we have to lie...sometimes, we must!

  10. lol I was right you are a victim of moodswing..


    There is a word called diplomacy...
    that is taking a middle path..ardhsatya for that matter..

    But sometimes I (or may be anyone else) had this problem,

    "I speak truth, but they refuse to believe me"

  11. I was about to write a pretty similar post. May be even now i will go ahead and write it *shrugs*.

    But yeah, honesty doesnt always help. You have got to where to honest and where to be polite and sometimes diplomatic. By being too honest or straight forward you might end up hurting the feelings of the one you love and you dont want that. Yes, you have to honest and all but a few situations you have to lie to make others happy :). And we women arent scary but our tears or hurt faces scare the guys :P.

  12. Yea, Honesty doesnt pay always....but as much as possible its better to be honest...its like investing in long term its;0

  13. That was a fantastic post Neha :D
    I am totally with you in being realistic as far how much honesty is actually desired of us in today's times :)

    Looking forward to the upcoming parts of this post :D :D



    I can particularly relate to the job interviews. Having been part of many,I know for sure, a fully honest answer like "i don't shit care for your company, all I want is a job after college" wouldn't take you anywhere!!

  15. while honesty is good...!! but it is certainly nt the best policyy all the time.. depends on the situation u are in...!!

  16. Bhai bhuka marne se aacha thoda sa sach ko tod marod ke bolo... right .... actually everyone likes flattery so being bluntly honest is foolish ....

  17. wrote a comment it dint forgot what i wrote..age is catching up..give time..will vist again...neha..u doing gr8 buddy..keep up the cheers..:)

  18. Neha, you are right , honesty is not best policy.

  19. makes me think of my resume :) !

  20. Sorry late!!

    There's one more type of honesty. making fun of others in the name of honesty. "You are fat!".."Hey I was just being honest" is not acceptable.

    And yeah honesty is good in books...preach and forget

  21. Rather than honest, being diplomatic is the best policy at many situations...

  22. Oh yes! Honesty is not always the best policy! But I guess, one need to check his/her intentions. If the intentions are honest, it's ok to be a bit...dishonest!! :P

  23. Honesty may not always the best policy. But I personally think we should be honest all the time. I think, within our own mind, we should be proud of ourselves. If we are not honest, others may not know it. But we know it. That wont makes us proud.

    Men are dishonest?. I beg to disagree. Some of the most dishonest people I have come across are women. I can write a post about it. But in order to be politically correct, I won't.

  24. YEs ladies are scary.. you never know what they are thinking and what is it that you got to say to make them smile.. the same line one day is Good the other day its WHAT THE HECK.... :) i know i know

    hey but this is HONEST ... ha ha haah aha hah ...

    But honesty always doesnot get you anywhere in todays age, you got to be WISE , say a thing or two hmmm lets say Differently .. to make it goood ..

    very good article Neha.. as you know i lvoe reading your articles , and your blog its Great ...

    Hey by the way Keep guessing is this was honest :) he heh ehehe

  25. a thin line separates dishonesty-for-a-reason and dishonesty as in cheating.
    lying to make someone feel better is not the same as lying about your feelings
    lying to get out of a sticky situation is called smartness and not lying would be naive.

  26. Honesty isn't the best policy every time, but we can do one thing when it isn't best to be honest. We can remain silent instead of being dishonest. What say?

  27. Nice post Neha!

    Politically correct walo ka zamaana hai bawaaaa :P

  28. My beau is honest enough to tell me that I need to join the gym!!! I'll make him read this post :)

  29. Honesty is the best policy. Other ways only give you momentary happiness. And so pls tell friend that the story needs a bit redo.

  30. True true..not always the best policy...but you were frightfully honest about your friend's story...I hope you gave him your honest feedback :)

  31. neha..will i dare forget u? neha the may be the other way around..ok ok,,i am dropping in in mumbai next month end..Pizza is on u...if u visit vashi, it is on me..hehhehe:)

  32. If one can accept others' frank opinions about oneself, then there is no problem in being honest with others..

  33. now honesty is situation dependent.

  34. @ Saroj, oh yeah..being tactful is the key..who likes honest comments about waistline :D i know many will agree with few points of my mood swings post :)

    @ Rajlakshmi, you are right re..we are indeed scary and our cribbing is icing on the cake :D

    @ Rohan, that's my point exactly - most of the women do not want to hear honest opinion..selective truth is the at ur PS :D

    @ Savvy, you are should be very tactful..

    @ BK Chowla, you summed up my are one is a liar all the time; but certain situations demand it..

    @ Kavita, baap re..bache kitne scary hote hai :P I am sure your husband must have learnt his lesson..that book is; well...I love the cartoon too :)

    @ Hobo, hmmm, interesting theory..

    @ Niraj, :P

    @ RD, you are right..certain situation demands lies or truth a bit tweaked..

    @ Tarun, yeah..mood swings post will tell you all :P

    @ harini, yeah write it re..I am sure you will come up with something totally different :) You know, I am way too honest and I end up hurting many :-S

    @ ZB, maybe it is profitable in long term; but certain things cannot be conveyed straight away :)

    @ CB, thanks..I hope upcoming post does not disappoint u :P

    @ Communi, oh yeah..job interview u cannot be so honest :)

    @ Dido, you are right..

    @ Dhiman, sahi bola..we prefer to hear praises all the time na :)

    @ Ramesh, old age? hmmmm :)

    @ sm, thanks :)

    @ Hary, hahahaha :)

    @ Insignia, it's never too late :) you are right..some people behave rudely in the name of honesty :)

    @ LR, you are right..

    @ Shilpa, totally agree.. :)

    @ SG, being tactful is the key rather than 100% honesty all the time..nobody is asking you to lie..but be careful and tactful that's all..and why are you saying this about men and women? I have not mentioned anywhere in the post that ONLY men are dishonest..I am trying to say that they need to handle the situation in a smarter way as a lady does not want to hear all the time that she is fat or she is an awful cook! you may very well write a post as I feel you have come across only dishonest women and not men! why staying politically correct? be 100% honest in this case too..

    @ Bikram, yeah ladies are scary when it comes to their you said - one needs to be wise and smart..I take that statement as an honest one :P

    @ Nalini, thank you for understanding my point :))

    @ Phatichar, welcome here..thank you for your comments..

    @ Nethra, that's an option too..silence can be misunderstood though..

    @ Firebolt, you are right..

    @ Neha, hahahhaha..good good :)

    @ Holy lama, a tactfulness is required..

    @ DC, my friend is a kind of person who cannot take the I just said it was ok; but some improvement is required!

    @ Ramesh, sure sure..

    @ Satya, welcome here..thank you for your comments..

    @ Rajat, very true..

  35. Heyy nice insight :) I guess as human we all shy away from brutal honesty.."don't do unto others what U wldnt want others to do unto u" is a good prinicple I guess..having said that women also like eharing good things for two reasons:
    1.theya re more sensitive to compliments n criticism
    2.They actually deserve good things!!

    A fine balance we have to maintain between tact n frank honesty :)

    nice post btw!Always nice to visit ur blog n read stuff!keep writing!

  36. Thanks for your reply. Talking about "politically correct". Have you ever been "completely" honest about other people? To your mother? To your dad? To Mandar when you met him first time on August 13, 2003? (my date may be wrong slightly). I never said "I have come across only dishonest women and not men!"

    Sure, one of these days I write a post about it. thanks for listening to me.

  37. Well thought and nicely compiled. Well, if honesty isn't the way, then why should we worry about so many things in life? Because 'REALITY BITES'. No one in current society is willing to accept the reality!

    No wonder the great 'Bhagavadgeetha' says -
    paritranaya sadhunam vinasaya ca duskrtam
    dharma-samsthapanarthaya sambhavami yuge yuge.

  38. @ Pravin, as I mentioned earlier, it all depends on the situation..women are very sensitive towards certain why to hurt them na..balance needs to be maintained..hey thanks for the compliment..I am glad you like my blog :)

    @ SG, this is what I have mentioned in my post - there are certain things and circumstances about which you cannot be 100% honest..the date is perfect..your memory amazes me all the time :))

    @ Mohan, so very true..reality indeed bites..we cannot face honesty about every damn thing na..:)

  39. Hey Neha, had read this post long back but commenting now. You are absolutely right. Being honest is not the right thing to do always. Especially if it is going to hurt someone. I have seen some people who are too honest about everything and other people often dislike such people.

  40. Neha,

    I think it is either black or white, with no (*) thing. Having said that there is nothing wrong in being dis-honest at times ( the GF, wife situations etc..)


  41. im just 13 and i got a debate competition and the topic was it is always wise to be honest ( against or with). i ve searched for a long time and finally,i got this website and it was very useful for me. and as my opinion neha is right sometimes even i have to lie to my frnds just to make them happy or pleased. so neha, thank u very much.

    1. Hey Sanjana, I am glad that you found this content useful. It's just a randomly written post, but since it helped you, I am more than glad :)

  42. yes is true sometimes truth hurt us.

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