Thursday, December 11, 2014

Life starts to suck the day you become independent

When I made this statement, a friend said that I should stop sounding like a 40 year old. No I don't blame them. When you start working even before you are out of teenage, you would definitely sound 40 in your 30s. My first job started as soon as I was done with my 12th standard exam. After that I paid for every small or big things in life - from college fees to mobile bill to shopping - everything. And that was a good life. I did take my parents' permission for every small thing I bought, but they rarely objected. I knew the value of money even before I had learnt to spend it. 

This was probably why I studied so much. I chose subjects I usually failed in. And excelled in them. As much as I valued money, I learnt the importance of having fun in life as well. I learnt how important it is to do things you like, how important it is to meet people - old and new - from time to time, how important it is to travel. Travel with different people. Travel alone. Sit in a strange city and do nothing. Roam around from morning to evening till you are dead tired. 

All these things became much much easier after I became independent. But this small advantage had many disadvantages. I remember school days. I wasn't worried about how am I going to be able to afford something. I was never a spender. I had limited number of clothes and shoes, I bought books as required, I was too fond of stationery but never spent crazily after it, I was allergic to cocoa thus my chocolate expenditure was as good as nil. But it was a good life. I never felt burdened by anything. I didn't really understand the concept of earning that much then. 

But you don't live the same life. Things changed drastically for us. From an extremely comfortable life, I was thrown into a normal routine life of most. I didn't really have to struggle to make my ends meet, but I had a very plain and simple life. Any additional shopping had to be planned well in advance. That's when I decided to start working. Because I wanted a comfortable life. Not for only me, but even for my family. And it wasn't that difficult. I had a much better life now. And a happy one.

My jobs never took away the pleasure of free life. My jobs were usually flexible. I had the usual amount of fun one usually has in college. But I lost the luxury of being carefree about things. I no longer exercised the option of calling dad and demanding something. I earned, saved and bought what I wanted. I had to wait for some time before I could get what I wanted. It wasn't the wait that bothered me, it was the burden that did. I hated this entire - I can take care of myself - phase. I still do. I would want to have a tension free life where I am not working to earn. I love to work, but I would want to work because I want to and not because I have to.

I think I am going through this phase because I haven't really been free. There was a phase when I wasn't working for two years. But at that time I was in law school and I had other responsibilities that didn't allow me to have a job alongside. Thus I was never out of job. 

Thus I am tired. I hate this entire setup of being independent. I don't want a new life just so that I can get rid of this phase either. It's not earning money part that I am tired of. It's the responsibility and taking care of one's own self part that I hate. And I want to get rid of it asap. Yes, life really starts to suck once you become independent.


  1. I started earning early too and I can totally relate to what you are saying here.
    Sometimes you just need to be dependent.

  2. An easiest way to get rid of what you are saying, is to get married soon. :)

  3. Greatest feeling in life is when when starts to earn and picks up the first salary.
    The fact that you started earning in life early is the reason you value money .
    And,life is going on,Neha..Various phases in life come and go,but,it is ones determination which proves one stability.

  4. The day you have to ask someone for anything you will hate it .
    Anyone who is dependent on their spouse would envy you .

  5. you need someone who can take care of you. just as a symbolism. somewhere i do find you seek that person. and btw was this birthday deep thinking?

  6. one has to face this situation in life sooner or later in life
    its great that you became independent earlier
    happy new year hope your all dreams come true

  7. Good Evening
    I've read your blog and I am in love with your writing. Your articles attracted my attention since I am also connected to a similar field. We are trying to raise awareness among women through our website, Womenite (

    This website is a budding step towards woman empowerment, celebrating womanhood and making their voices reach out everyone, started by few college going students. And we'll be honored if we could feature your inspiring views and thoughts on our website.

    Would you please be interested in writing a short guest post for our website ? Your words would mean a great encouragement for us.

    Hoping for a reply.

    Thanks and Regards.
    Rashi Chauhan

    1. Hi Rashi,

      There is something I had written long ago that might help you for your site. In fact there are quite a few articles you can use. Let me know where I can mail you those.

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