I love movies

Hindi Movies – I love to watch prefer them to English movies. I have nothing against English movies; but I feel they somehow lack that cliché that is provided by our bollywood movies. Those actors and actresses dancing around the tree; or the trademark yell of “nahiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii” for anything and everything; or losing your sibling in Kumbh ka mela and finding them after twenty odd years – their lockets being the common factor to recognize each other; or two best friends falling in love with the same girl and "Kurbani Dega Kaun?" wala situation. And such!

The very first movie that I remember seeing was either Nageena or Nageen – ichchadhari Naag Naagin ki kahani. I had actually believed them to be true and wondered who that snake might be among the people around me. I used to literally get scared of ladies with makeup especially the ones with thick eye liner, kohl and green eyes.

With time, I stopped getting scared of human beings as I realized those shown in the movies were fictional characters and not ichchadhari snakes; but few things got worse. My mother is a very emotional person. Whenever there was a very happy or very sad scene playing, she cried. And I kind of inherited this quality from her.

Be it a C grade sappiest movie, I cry when an emotional scene plays. I get tears in my eyes when somebody dies or there is a break up between two people due to some stupid reason; I feel for those poor people who sleep hungry in the movie in spite of knowing the fact that in real life, they are very well to do. The irony of my situation is that I am totally opposite in real life. I do not cry easily. For beggers, I feel that they have an option of working but it’s just that they are too used to earn money without doing any kind of hard work.

I cannot watch horror movies. I always wonder – why do people have to move around or visit their garden area on a full moon/ new moon at midnight? Why do they murder somebody and bury the dead body behind their bungalows? Can’t they repair their screeching doors or leaking taps? Even in case of a thriller, I prefer avoiding those scenes in which the investigation happens at night!

But somehow, I am allergic to super duper hits and blockbusters! I have rarely liked a super hit movie! I got bored while watching Avatar, and I had a major headache after watching Kal Ho na Ho! I fail to understand what is so great about Hera Pheri and Slumdog Millionaire!

Whatever the case maybe, I love to watch movies. I can watch two movies back to back in theatre every day. I can tolerate even the crappiest movie ever released if I don’t have anything else to do. I love Harry Potter movies so much that I have seen each one at least 40 times and remember almost all the dialogues and scenes verbatim.

And I so wish to be a part of Harry Potter 7!!!!

Image Source: http://bookmarqc.com/8khakis/wp-content/themes/theunstandard-1.2/theunstandard/images/i-love-movies.png

My Cooking Woes

My hindi movie dialogue fixation continues with this post too. This post will not be on the dialogues again; just one of the typical and clichéd most dialogues I remember:

Ek aurat ki jagah rasoi mein hoti hai. (A woman belongs to the kitchen)

Whenever the hero used to say this; my blood boiled. I am sure most of the girls must be feeling like slapping that guy with all the hatred for saying it. Guys, before you start accusing me of calling you MCPs; let me clarify - I hated this dialogue very much as I hate cooking; and not because I hate you for discriminating on the basis of gender.

Time changed; dialogue became almost extinct; but situation at most of the places is the same. A lady is expected to cook. Well, that's perfectly all right; but I thought people around me were at least sensible enough to care for their lives! Or at least, I want them to be; so that I don't have to face my worst nightmare!

There was time when Mom used to be unwell and ordering food from outside was a complete no no. I had tried to prepare daal-rice the first time. The next time onwards, we started surviving on thepla and pickle. I was so pathetic at cooking then that I could not even make maggi in spite of going as per the instruction. The first time when I tried it, set up the stop watch for two minutes after boiling the water. Do I need to tell you the outcome?

Then I got married. First time in kitchen; I was asked to make kheer. My Mother-in-law (MIL)was standing behind me giving me instructions. All I did was to add a few ingredients and stir. It turned out awesome and I got the credit for something I didn't do. Slowly I learnt how to cook; and now I can make decent and edible food (proof: my family people are still alive and not even once they have suffered from food poisoning); but I still loathe cooking.

Many times my MIL pushes her luck to make me like cooking by showing me various quick recipes, or Sanjeev Kapoor etc. all shows; but no success so far. Nonetheless, she is happy with my regular cooking; and I am quite habituated to prepare regular food. Her dream was that my daughter-in-law will learn various kind of food and cuisines; but well, some things are better preserved as dreams than reality.

When people say that way to a man's heart is through his stomach; I feel like gifting them the dvd of Omkara movie.

Image Source: Google Images

Horn OK Please

You spot this written at the back of all the trucks and tempos. The purpose behind it is very simple – if one wants to overtake that truck/tempo; they need to honk properly as an overtaking intention indicator!

But most of the people in Mumbai are way too amazing when it comes to assuming things! Be it for breaking rules; or contributing towards anti – Save the environment and our planet from the Global Warming. Actually most of the Indians are amazing at these things. But, I am not going to write about how we are and hurt a few more egos; especially when we all are in high spirits thanks to our Master Blaster. His inning was a treat to watch – 200 not out – phew! He didn’t even use any runner throughout his inning! Since he could make a double century he is brave. (Otherwise!?!)

And the best thing was that for the first time I watched the match live and still Sachin managed to score and India won. Those regular here will know what I mean; and for the rest of you, click here.

I had to mention this as this man has the power to create that stand still moment in the whole country.

Back to my topic now; we take this Horn ok Please slogan way too seriously; for, most of the times you see those behind the wheels honking even when it is not required. We all are in hurry to reach at some place; and the traffic plays its part; but does the unnecessary honking really help?

I don’t drive myself so I don’t know what must be going on in the mind of the driver; maybe he/she thinks that honking will help them move faster; or it will clear those hundred cars ahead of them the moment signal turns green; or maybe some fly button is installed somewhere at their car horns! Please help me with the valid logic.

And those frustrated heads that come out of car windows after the hands attached to their torso are tired of honking; their efforts of making non-stop noise is futile thanks to the stand still traffic; they take out their head and shout their lungs out asking cars to move fast! If the jam is due to a broken car; then God bless the poor soul behind those wheels. For, he gets so many curses and abuses by those stranded because of him; but very few help him.

Honking – a sign of getting late, an outcome of frustration or just a habit – it is for sure irritating for others if used consistently. But I guess no point in writing or blogging about it as we are not going to change. We will wake up tomorrow and start it all over again even in case of slow moving traffic in the silence zone; or our head will again pop out to abuse when we will see the cause of the jam.

Image source: Google Images

Saving the Tigers...

....is one of the most dumb ideas one could come up with.

Disclaimer: This is a sarcastic (and rude) post about us. With explicit permission from the blog owner, am I publishing this on Neha's (too). Whoever has been finding some notions of Save Our Tigers Project ridiculous, please do not proceed. If you do, the blame lies with you and you alone. As certain Indians also, if you are offended, I can't help it. So proceed with caution. The author and the blog owner bears no responsibility for wounded egos and short tempers. If you can't take it, don't read it.

Who around us doesn't know, that the number of tigers in our country is pointing towards extinction? Someone with the most minimal knowledge is aware of it. So why the big deal out of it? Yeah, 1411 is a catchy number and we could have done without knowing it. Thank you. And also without the 'poor little thing' marketing gimmick for an ad.

Yeah, yeah I know tiger, actually the Royal Bengal Tiger (did you know?) is our National animal, but what can I do?

This sympathy organization just to fool the public, what can I call it but a publicity stunt? What happens if we join up? Nothing. If only, they can procreate and carry baby tigers into the forests, there's no hope for increasing that number.

I can join up. (Isn't it free?) But what good will it do? I'll do not one thing different. Oh yes, I can sympathize. Better yet, I can criticize.

What was the reason behind creating this huge furor over nothing? Make us feel guilty over something that isn't my concern anyway? (My concern extends only to myself, sometimes to my immediate family and mostly, to make people understand how great I am). 

So, I can snivel around and mark out pointers, enumerating the reasons why the makers of the group as well as the group are dumb. Why their ideas are trash, and nothing will ever actually work and how they are wasting our energy. 

Of course, however I am not available (usually disappear faster than when chased by a tiger) when it is to suggest an alternative to the "foolish ideas and ventures". It's not my job. Mine is to criticize what they do (though, however, it isn't something I could ever do). Actually, why are they making us talk about something in which we had no intention of putting any effort, taking away time from thinking about ourselves.

"Write to policy-makers" --- This is India, my darling! You gotta' be kidding! Who gives a damn (when the high-and-mighty me doesn't, you really cannot expect the berated-by-me-too policy makers to)! Actually, they are much like me, they do not like being poked in the eye about something that is obvious. And like me, they do not care. Like I won't ever care to take any initiative.

"Blog about it" --- As if my space is out for blogging about a public cause. Does it pay? Does it bring readers? Awareness in India through blogging? That's not really my priority. Yeah, may be there are Westerners in my readership, may be they could pitch in too, but they'd be foolish to care. So please, I'll save my effort.

"The Government" --- And of course, living in India, we always have a ready-made excuse. Our government. After all, everything is their fault. And bashing and abusing them easily hides the fact that we rarely do anything for the country we proclaim to love. Oh, what would have we done if our Government wasn't so corrupt and lazy? It would have been terrible! It would have been obvious to the most even casual onlooker that we, the people are also corrupt, lazy, all talk-no action, worthless and selfish schmucks who only know to belittle others and do nothing that has no profit in store for them. 

None of us will ever put up money, or take an active role. We'll not talk about the ideas that are actually achievable, because we won't shift from our comfortable life-style to implement or even accommodate them. This is not just about Tigers, it extends to everything that requires us to stand together. We have forgotten Aesop's Fables as children's stories. "Unity is might" has been lost in the dredges of personal gain and others' losses. In case of saving tigers, we refuse to stand together, refuse to commend the initiative, just because me, in my all pompous glory about myself is above it all. Because being noticed becomes easier when I'm standing apart from the crowd questioning or ridiculing what others stand together for and of course, it makes me feel I'm smarter than the rest of them. And all for a cause, I don't even spend two moments of my day.

The Government, any government has a thousand and one issues (is the number I have used too high?) to resolve. Even if they know the catchy number of '1411 only', documented on a sheet of paper, it just can get lost under a mountain of pending more-important work. Is creating a single voice, loud and clear, demanding something be done right away has any bearing towards saving our tigers from extinction? I'm thick-headed, near-sighted or politically correct enough to ignore that possibility. It goes against my strategy, and my brilliant criticism, you see. Of course, all we have to do is make them, force them even, to create reserves and sanctuaries. That's it. With the protection that comes with that concept, our tigers will have their own habitat, and no fear of surviving into the next generations.  Ever been to Kanha National Park or Corbett National Park?

But we don't really care about standing together or talking about issues and causes. It has no profit in store for us. We can criticize and can point out what a futile and lame attempt this is. Why do we care if it succeeds or fails as long as it doesn't concern us directly? What are we, fools? 

(And we hit closer to home with this last statement, and blissfully remain unaware about it)

N.B. It is always easier to criticize and pick faults, than commend one or several for their actions and initiatives. Learn to live beyond yourself, and support an attempt, a greater cause. And if you cannot agree, cannot support and yet, provide no better solutions than the ones existing, keep shut.

For joining the Roar to Save Our Tigers, or just for a look-see visit the site here.

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This is a guest post by Guria.  

Our (lovely) Neighbours

A bright Sunday morning; you are sipping a hot and refreshing cup of ginger tea; sun rays are giving you the warmth you really need in winter; those small conversations with your husband - a perfect day and a perfect way to spend some quality time with him. Just when you are enjoying yourself thoroughly; your doorbell rings. You open the door, spot another smiling face that says:

"can I get a cup of sugar please?"

Sigh!

Just because your neighbour does not want you to think that she is here only for some work, she will start talking to you. Your five minutes are gone, husband has a newspaper in his hand and your sink awaits for your ice tea.

We usually associate neighbours with either gossips or our SOS when we do not have some ingredient that's is essential for cooking. We count on them for a tomato, or a cup of milk, or a needle; but we do need them.

But they needing us? - hmmm, that can be a bit frightening; especially when they leave their kid with us for a few hours; who has a tendency to break anything and everything he touches; or when we have to take care of their dog when are are away on a few days trip; and the dog loves to pee on the carpet.

We loathe them when we happen to be a teenager; parents are out of town and there is a party at our place. Few guys and girls are about to enter when Mrs. Sharma opens her door; looks at you and gives you that "I know what you are upto" smile.

Zynga Company - the makers of farmville game - has studied the behaviour of neighbours pretty well; for, they have made sure that you have to ask for something or the other all the time from your farm neighbours.

Real world or virtual world; neighbours do matter to us all the time.

Sometimes we are jealous of them when they upgrade themselves; we compete with them just to prove our point to them; we stand by them when a tragedy has struck them; we dance with them if there is a wedding in their family.

We need them as much as we run away from them.

The great cliche applies here about our neighbours:

"You love them or you hate them; but you cannot ignore them"

Image Source: http://www.digitalrampage.com/images/neighbours.jpg