Storyteller

All of us know at least one such person who while narrating an incident talks about every single thing related to it. And makes even the most interesting episode dragging and boring. The person is usually in 'avoid as much as possible' list. I was one such kid. When I used to narrate something, I would talk about everything useless too. I preferred to provide the entire information no matter how redundant it was. People started avoiding asking questions to me and school started giving me prizes for my achievements. Not all was lost.

This reaction had its positive as well as negative effects. Negative effect was that by the time I became a bit sensible, I had become introvert. I rarely spoke with anyone, even at school. I went to school, attended tuitions, came home and shut myself in my room. I did nothing productive, made no new friends. I got along better with people who were older than me by at least 5 years. I started loathing the place I was living in. I wanted to move out asap, to a different city so that nobody from that circle could follow me. And I could start afresh. From a boring school girl to someone everyone wants to be friends with.

I shifted to Bombay. I was again very much introvert, conscious and hesitant initially. My wardrobe consisted of old fashioned clothes that nobody wore here. My English was not as fluent, as in my town, we communicated in Gujarati and at times Hindi. I was a hostelite, and most of the college people around me belonged to wealthy families. They travelled in their cars, ate in fancy restaurants, partied in posh pubs and lounges where if I go with them once, my half monthly pocket money would be gone. I could again see myself in the same situation. I was on the verge of going back to my old self.

But I decided to change this. I learnt to speak in fluent English. Since I knew the language well and grammar and vocabulary base was pretty strong, all I needed was a bit of practice and confidence. I started writing dramas for college, started a site on tripod to write down my thoughts which I got to know much later that it was nothing but blogging. My blog was about incidences. I wrote anecdotes, read them myself, started filtering information and I was ready. Ready to face the world with my new personality. The same stories for which I was made fun of became the source of entertainment for people. I now knew exactly what information to share and what to discard, where to change the pitch and where to take a pause. I was occasionally funny too, but mostly entertaining. I made friends, lots of them, who are still in touch with me.

Thus was born a storyteller. Who learnt the tricks of the trade hard way. Who later on told people that it's okay to crib, rant and tell stories. But make sure even the most boring things can be told in the most interesting manner. And it was not difficult. If a small town nobody could do it, anyone else could. 

Now my life is full of stories. I can create a story even from a very mundane situation. It comes naturally to me. I can talk to anyone about anything for any duration. And I am mostly interesting. And funny too if I like you. This helps me in teaching too. Students think that I am a very good teacher and they look forward to my lectures. Stories help. Always. Learn to be an interesting storyteller. It can take you places. It can save you from awkward situations and silences. And you are loved by everyone. 

Sadly, this also gets you a lot of attention. But the best part is, you can go back to being the boring storyteller. That's the real you. And that's what you will always remain at heart. A boring storyteller who is good at fooling people.

Blackjack

Isn’t it a game where I am the dealer? We play blackjack. I keep losing some money in each round. It’s a small amount, I can afford it. But when I win, I win big. I recover the amount 4 times higher than what I had lost.

Aren’t we like this too? I lose each time you tell a lie; but when I win, I gain a lot more. The worst thing is that the win doesn’t have you.

I lose the most when I win..

Time. Changes.

Time flies. Another year is about to get over. 90s got over some 14 years ago, and that itself sounds scary. These days kids learn to operate mobiles and ipads even before they learn to say their name. I was brought up in a small town where cordless phone was also considered a fancy technology in those days. We had to go to big cities like Bombay to get certain toys, or fancy branded clothes and stationery. Now you just have to order it online and it gets delivered at your doorstep. I don't even think office people use stationery much anymore. 

There was this landline era that amazed you. How easy it was to connect with people staying miles apart. Or talking to someone staying next door without meeting or shouting at the top of your voice. Or giving blank calls when his father picks up the call, making a girl call you as boys' calls are not allowed at your place. One ring means come down to play - I have been through everything. After growing up, I asked my parents if they didn't trust me as a child, they said that they did trust me, but they were just protective about me. Eventually they allowed everything they had put restrictions on back then. So yes, it was not about trust after all.

And clothes. I used to visit Bombay when I was in school. I used to see girls roaming around in shorts without any inhibition. In a small town, if you step out in a knee length dress, people will stare at you as if you are roaming around naked. Now with time, things have changed there as well. I have seen the time where daughters in law were not allowed to wear even salwar suit, and now some of them manage family business too.

Times have indeed changed. People are becoming more and more independent by being dependent on the technology. There is solution available on internet for every damn thing. Relationships are becoming more and more fragile. Distance keeps increasing between people. We take along portable gadgets to remain in touch with people instead of taking the pain of taking out time to meet them. Sms, phone calls, voice notes, blocking them, flirting with five people at a time, everything is connected with some social life of that person, it's a trend to be there on at least three different social networking sites, or messengers. You are easily reachable, but never available.

After facebook, how many people have you called and wished on their birthday? Instead of keeping in touch with them regularly, we use this to avoid them as much as possible. We stalk them just so that we remain secure about their commitment towards us. We want to foresee the heartbreak. We fight if one girl likes his every second post. I think I should deactivate all my social networking site accounts too the day I decide to settle down. I am that scared.

Girls get into depression if they don't get many likes on their pictures. Yes, I recently read about this. It was so called facebook addiction. And whatsapp addiction. "Last seen at" killed many relationships. We stopped using technology for good. We started abusing it. And misusing it. 

I don't know where did this post start from and where is it ending. I am writing after a long time. I have been trying to write something for quite some time, but couldn't come up with anything worth reading. I discarded at least five drafts before starting this one. I feel sad. I miss the old time. But I am happy too. I can avoid people easily. But do I really want this? Am I really out of place in this fast moving world? Changing oneself with time is a good thing, but what if it involves killing your true self completely? Am I ready for such a change? Is it worth doing so? 

Life. And many unanswered questions. And many unchallenged answers.

Clothes shrink

I was always proud of one superpower I was blessed with - high metabolism. I could hog like a pig and not even put on 200 grms. Whenever there was a stress phase, I would reduce weight, going from skinny to very skinny self. And it felt fine. I was comfortable in my skin. Almost every damn dress fit me. My size was easily available. And there would be quite a few like me as XS size in case of dresses and S for t-shirts was there for almost every label.

Whenever I met people, their first reaction was - gosh you are so thin! Some even envied me. But most thought I never got any food. They never considered the possibility that I might be having a small appetite. "Khaana nahi milta hai kya?" was a statement that would look good if it was followed by a slap as my reply. But you kind of get used to it. Everyone tells you the same thing. In almost the same tone and manner. As if your parents hate you so much that they starve you.

But the best thing of that frame was - it always remained constant. A bit of weight here and there never changed my clothes size as it was always one-two kgs difference. I could fit into a dress I bought a decade ago without any efforts. Ah it's surely a blessing for someone who hates shopping. And it feels awesome too to wear older and more comfortable clothes. And you always have a lot of clothes. Imagine the situation where you don't have that "I don't have anything to wear" scene playing in your mind ever.

No matter what people call you - malnourished, skinny, hanger - you feel content as you are comfortable with your body. You have more stamina to do every damn thing than them, you fall ill less frequently than them, all your reports are normal, you hog more than they do, eat all the desserts-chocolates-creams-cheese without thinking about the calories part, you never have to hit the gym to reduce weight or the tummy flab you have just because you ate that one extra slice of pizza every time.

Yes, I flaunted all these things. I hogged like a pig every time I went out or had something tasty to eat and didn't feel sorry after eating. I never checked weighing scale after having a five course meal. And then the curse of those thousands of people hit me. I started putting on weight. My diet remained the same, my routine was the same too, but weight - no. The old clothes I was so fond of started shrinking. The denims became tight, the dresses lost its fitting too automatically. Suddenly you had a few loose clothes that would fit you. You came down to 20 clothes from 200. "I don't have anything to wear" nightmare became real. 

Thankfully I haven't become fat. I am still thin, but I am no longer skinny. After meeting me for the first time or seeing me after a span of six months, nobody says that I don't get anything to eat or I have reduced weight. I look taller than average Indian girls and too short in front of most of the guys I know. Those sexy dresses don't fit me any longer, but I am not buying any either as I am at a weird size stage. I am just complaining about the tummy flab. But that's kind of okay too. I have bought some new clothes, and plan to buy some more. I am not sure whether to discard the old ones or not. See! Life is all about confusions. Or life is confusing. Confusing! 

I still believe that one must not judge people by their physical appearance, or the kind of clothes they wear. It's their choice. If someone is 40 kgs or 140 - if it doesn't affect your life, you should reserve your comments to yourself. I have personally known really fat people and they have suffered from depression due to their weight. They need to be fit; not ill.

I have not only mastered the art of digressing from the main topic, but even to make a light post serious. So yes, clothes shrink. More than 100 clothes cannot be wrong at the same time. They all shrink together.

Being a Criminal Lawyer

This is a long post. But an interesting one as usual. Read it or continue living in the biased shell you have created - the choice is yours.

Way too many high profile cases have been coming into limelight these days. The crime ratio has certainly gone up, but it wasn't non-existent earlier. It might have been at par with the current time too. I am too lazy to find out these facts, compare data etc., but it's a plain common sense - population has increased, we are technologically more advanced, more powerful and rich.

But the most important aspect of these stories becoming more and more popular is that there are 20+ news channels now that run 24x7. There are more newspapers and magazines - print media as well as online media. Everything runs round the clock. Even before the criminal wipes his fingerprints from the gun, he is live on TV, or you are reading 1000 tweets a second about the crime that he committed. Every single thing becomes breaking news. Every shit news is repeated a hundred times, to an extent that you even remember when exactly the news reader takes a pause while talking.

Delhi Rape case judgment was a very recent thing that caught media attention. Out of six accused, one committed suicide (or murdered is still a mystery), the Juvenile got three years of imprisonment and remaining four were awarded capital punishment. But more than the result, what caught media's attention was their lawyer AP Singh's arguments. In the courtroom, he made statements like "If my daughter was having premarital sex and moving around at night with her boyfriend, I would have burnt her alive. I would not have let this situation happen. All parents should adopt such an attitude." 

Second incident was that of a very popular lawyer who is loved and admired by most of the lawyers I know - Ram Jethmalani. He recently took up Aasaram's case who is accused of sexual assault on a minor girl. While arguing for Aasaram's bail plea in the court, he said that the girl in question was mentally unstable and needed to go to men for that purpose. 

As a normal person when I read these statements, I feel like slapping these lawyers for this. I want to punish them as well along with the accused. How can they be so insensitive about such grave issues? How can they say things like - the girl is at fault, or she should be careful and guard her own safety, her parents should be more cautious and so on. 

Now think from these lawyers' point of view. When we get our degrees, we go to Bar Council of India to register ourselves as lawyers. There, we take an oath to defend our clients when we take up their case. We can lie in the court in order to defend them, we are not supposed to hand over the evidence that goes against our clients, and we cannot be punished for these things. The logic is that every person has a right to defend oneself. They have a right to appoint a lawyer to do so on their behalf since a lawyer has better experience and expertise in legal matters.

There are criminals like terrorists, rapists, murderers - some of them become too popular due to the gruesome nature of the crime they have committed. Everyone knows they are guilty of that crime. There are plenty of eyewitnesses, evidences against them. You would think that none of the lawyers will take up their case as they do not want to lose. You look at the whole situation from right and wrong perspective. For you, they are criminals and must be punished. In some cases they shouldn't even be given a trial. But these are all sentimental views.

Look at it from a lawyer's point of view now. You have a high profile case in front of you. A terrorist caught in action, rapists of the most popular case, one religious guru who is popular internationally. If not you, then court will appoint someone as their lawyer to defend them. Media keeps a track of each and every detail of these cases.

Now imagine, you are a small time lawyer. Not very popular. Legal practice is your bread and butter. You are not going to be punished for calling a criminal innocent even if there are 100 witnesses. Your statements get quoted in each and every newspaper and news channel. Your interview is telecast after each hearing. People know your name, your face. They may hate you, but they now know you. You are merely doing your job, and becoming a known face while doing so. What's wrong with that? For lawyers, it's their profession. We care a damn if one has committed one murder or ten murders. We have to choose one side - defend the criminal or don't take up the case. Starve, be unsuccessful, run behind people and make affidavits so that you can make 1000 Rs. at the end of the day. Yes, people do that too. And some have managed to buy a house too in Bombay by running behind people outside courts. But does everyone prefer such a life?

Yes, AP Singh got carried away. He made an insensitive statement in the court. He had to defend his clients. Even though they were guilty. He had to try his best. He was under an oath to do so. Just for some time, forget the gruesome nature of Jyoti Pandey case. If you are an 80's kid, or born even before that, ask your parents about safety and security. 90% of them are of the opinion that one has to be careful about one's own safety. They do believe that one should be home by so and so time. That's how they have been brought up. That's the kind of life they lived. AP Singh got carried away which was a huge mistake, but he just put forward his argument. Had it not been for media, nobody would have paid any attention to his statements. How many of you have read the entire judgment of any case anyway? Some of you may have, but majority of you rely on the summary published by news media.

Now look at Ram Jethmalani. He is very popular. Can you imagine his fees? Can you imagine how much he would be charging per hearing, per appearance, per consultancy? If he doesn't represent such high profile accused, he will have to sit at home, jobless. Again, his arguments were silly, but how can you be sure that he never used them before or they didn't work for him before? Same goes with AP Singh too. They are a part of some popular case, thus their statements are attracting attention from everywhere. They may be the most insensitive bunch of people you have had come across, but they are there for a reason, and that reason is good enough for them. They don't really care about what you think about them. 

They say that lawyers are heartless. If all the lawyers start taking care of their hearts, half the population will die of hunger. There are so many lawyers who never take up cases where they know that the accused is guilty of the crime. They are strict about the kind of cases they take up. All of us have our own principles. And we work accordingly.

I believe, when you have decided to practice a particular profession, you shouldn't worry about what others think of the kind of work you take up so far as you are doing what you are supposed to do. If a criminal is shot, a doctor still tries to save his life like any other patient. Same goes for a lawyer too. You do not demand to prosecute an action against the doctor, then why the lawyer? I have certain principles too. They are decided by me. And I abide by them. I do not break my own rules I have set for any amount of money. No, they are not purely on morality grounds. I am a heartless lawyer too. But I do not take up litigation. Court practice is not my cup of tea. I enjoy the power position. I like to take my own decisions. I do not like to rely on the judgment announced by someone superior. I do not like to be on the losing side. I prefer to be on the side where I decide what's right for you and why you should be doing a particular thing the way I want you to. I have studied and learnt everything for a reason. You are asking me because there are some things I am better at than you. 

Don't ever ridicule a professional. Try to understand their stand. They are doing their job. Just like you. They are inhuman so that they can save you when you need to be saved. They don't have a heart so that they can give you a right solution without wasting your or their time. Their clear mind helps them take the right decision and give the right advice. Trust them, don't abuse them. In some cases, to a great extent, your life depends on them.

PS: I do not give legal advice for free.