Small Joys and such else

That awesome feeling when you fit into your old LBD and it looks good on you? Well if you are a girl who is nearing her 30s, you would know exactly what I mean. Ah it feels weird to even write this down. Dress and me? That too an LBD? Ew, that's too feminine. But I have to attend a party in some fancy pub and I was looking for an appropriate outfit for that. Finally found one and it fitted perfectly. Ah, talk of small joys.

And talking about joys, today was Australian Open Semi Final between Nadal and Federer. Nadal won the match and what a game it was. After Federer winning the first set in a tie breaker, Nadal won the next three and won the game. Most of my friends are Federer fans and some who are Nadal fans, they started following him after he started winning the matches. Very few have actually followed his matches when he was rising on clay court. But well, that's another story.

Another update - I got my third tattoo done. It's on the wrist - a kanji symbol of love. The meaning of my name is love, and I wanted a pretty simple one, thus went for it. Here is the image:

Ah I always have so much to say, but I lack patience most of the times. Another vacation awaits me *fingers crossed*. I hope that materializes too. But all these things are too trivial to even bother about unless you love me and stalk me and want to know what's happening in my life and want to follow me wherever I go (ah, sounds flattering!), so well my life story info can simply be summed up.

In other news, most of you know about me and Guria by now. The bond, friendship, love, ass licking - whatever you want to call it. And it so happens that these days we rarely get time to talk to each other. We miss that and we keep mentioning it on facebook all the time. Both of us read the old posts we wrote, or some mail thread, or chat discussion just to remember and to smile. We need that daily to go on in life.

And each time while reading those old writings, we realize that nothing has changed between us while everything has changed around us. Be it circumstances, timezone, lifestyle, priorities (no, we ain't each other's priority. We are well above that) - and still, everything between us is the same. No I don't have to blog about it and flaunt, but I want a record of everything. It can be done over e-mails, but this is the place from where it started, where we met and the bond grew stronger. This blog and her blog will always remain the dearest to both of us for many reasons. One of them being us.

I miss her being in India when we planned so many blog posts over phone, we talked for hours, small things hurt us, smaller things made us happy beyond imagination, our lives - so different yet so connected. We faced many challenges in the form of people. They made fun of us for saying these things aloud; but I don't blame them. Narrow minds cannot be changed. We might have given them explanation too if it affected us, or if we knew what it was exactly. Thus we ignore.

And she says that I inspire her to blog. I love to read her, and I intend to inspire her all the time if she becomes regular here. So G, here is another inspiration for you!

Love

I have scribbled endlessly on pages about what love is. Sometimes in my heart, sometimes in my mind, sometimes on a tissue paper and sometimes on blog. Each time, the words changed, moods changed, but love remained constant. Sometimes, the mind didn't understand a word I was writing, and yet, it all made sense. The definitions of Love changed each time, but the meaning remained the same..

Does it make sense? I guess not. It's complicated enough for me to understand. I would not expect you to get the point a bit. But again, a lot of introspection results into such philosophies. But still, it's better that they get out of your system as soon as possible.

Coming back to the topic - love. What do you think love is? We say that each person has a different definition of love. But when you think of it, the definition depends more on the person's characteristics than the interpretation of love.

Love is simple, pure and unconditional. You love the person, that's about it. Nothing comes in between you and the person - no expectations, no insecurity, no jealousy, no ego - nothing whatsoever. Everything else is a result of our thoughts, our mindsets and our upbringing.

Love is. That's all. No strings attached.

Perverts, Go die!

Let me warn you before I start this post - Each word written in it is the truth, each incident/example mentioned here is my personal experience. After reading the post, if you think that I am sexist and talking like a feminist, then you are right.

I call myself a small town girl. And I have all the reasons to say so. I was brought up in a small town where everyone knew everyone. It was almost impossible to go unnoticed even while having a barf gola during summer vacations, as someone would spot you and tell your parents. People there were innocent, men looked at us like their own children, guys took care of us like they would of their own sisters; until hormones hit them. But even then they never misbehaved or told them anything directly as they feared that the relationship might get spoilt. 

After spending 15 years of my life, I shifted to Mumbai. From each and every known face around me to the most crowded jungle - the transition was not a pleasant one for me. Dad had given me one whole list of what not to do in the city; one of them being not talking to strangers.

After settling down in hostel, my life began in the mad city. First day of classes and I took a bus to my destination. Since the stop near hostel was where the bus started from, I didn't face any problem of rush. But while returning, it was pretty crowded. I somehow managed to get in and like many others, found some place to stand. After a few moments, I felt a hand brushing on my butt. I thought it would have been a mistake and thus ignored. After a few more minutes, I again felt a hand touching my thighs. This time I was frightened as I had never experienced such a thing in my life. I moved a bit so that I could avoid whatever and whoever was touching me. This time around, the same pervert pressed his body against me. I got so scared that I got down at the next stop and took a cab to the hostel.

I remember having a sleepless night and I was too scared and embarrassed to even share the experience with anyone. I didn't have class the next day which was a relief, but I knew I'd have to face the same thing again the day after tomorrow. Cab everyday was out of question because of long distance. It'd cost a lot of money and in hostel life is anyway not so comfortable that you can afford the luxury of hiring a cab each day.

Reluctantly, I discussed this with a hostel senior. I would cut the crap about our discussion, but she told me that it was a very normal thing and all one could do was to be careful as to where and how to stand so as to prevent such perverts from feeling you in such situations. I learnt the art pretty quickly too, but still they somehow found a way just to brush their hands at various parts of body while walking or getting down.

That was one of the incidences. Each day, so many females come across such perverts walking on the street. They touch on your thighs while walking, take advantage of the crowded places and purposely touch their shoulder to yours in the hope of touching boobs, some even pinch on boobs in crowd and no, this is not an exaggeration! This actually happens. 

I have even had people following me in lonely streets and empty subways of Churchgate station with their d!ck in their hands. Such a thing has happened thrice so far. Yes so far as I don't think such perverts can ever go off the streets. The reason is simple - we are too embarrassed to complain. And too busy to even care. We have become so used to such things that unless something major like an attempt to rape or actual rape happens, we will never raise our voice.

I have even come across so many autowalas who stare at women all the time through the rare view mirror. They touch their hands while taking/giving change, and they do it purposely. Some even pass by very close to a girl and take that exact cut where the girl is standing just to make her jump out of fear and laugh or lust at her.

I have been a "victim" of verbal sexual harassment at workplace too. I do not believe that sexual harassment has to involve physical assault. Talking dirty also falls in that category. I had to leave my job because my boss was a pervert who used to talk dirty with girls all the time in the name of "friendly environment".

So yes, men are perverts. And I am not a kind of feminist who will write anti-men posts and hate them. I love men, all the men I know, but I don't mind shooting such perverts whenever they misbehave. Filing a complaint? I think I will consider that option.

PS: People, I am not talking about guys in general here. It's a pity I have to clarify that after reading Sid's comment.

PPS: I was dressed in full clothes during these incidences. I never travel/walk on roads in my shorts or spaghetti tops. Thus your theory of - men stare as women wear revealing clothes stands bullshit here! 

Philosophical Nostalgia

A year or two back, I remember writing a post on how boring philosophy is. And I had started that post with a super philosophical paragraph. I always thought it was beyond me and my feeble understanding. But life and time teach you so many things. It surprises me sometimes when I go from normal to philosophical effortlessly and in no time. It's not a big deal, really. All you have to do is talk some positive and intellectual shit using a few heavy words. Elaborate a simple sentence in a profound manner and dang - you are a philosopher. 

I meet so many people each day. Everyone has a different take on life before and after a few drinks. And it's amusing to hear about their stories. How sad/happy they are before drinking, and two pegs down how things change suddenly. How senselessly sensible they become, how they look at life and talk about it. If only they applied all those principles in life, they wouldn't be drinking with friends.

I guess it's to do with age as well. I remember discussing about girls, boyfriends, heartbreaks, crushes, movies and such else during college. Then came the time when we discussed about work pressure, performance, target, promotions, lay offs, career options, marriages, family etc. And now mid-life crisis has hit us so bad that each of our discussion revolves around life and fight to survive. All of us have some or the other problem, nobody is entirely happy in one's life.

We fight. We work. We slog our asses off just to be happy, and at the end of the day, are we really happy? If I talk about me, I don't have any social life as such. There were times when I met friends without any reason and whenever I felt like. Now, I have to think 10 times before making such leisure plans with them. We go to fancy restaurants, good multiplexes or a nice holiday destination, but none of the meetings take place outside college, on marine drive, checking wallet before planning a movie, eating in fancy restaurants only when we get some birthday treat - that time was happier.

And no, I am not unhappy. Maybe I miss the simple and less complicated life. I miss the carefree and responsibility free life. I miss those nonsense conversations about nothing. And I miss being happy without any reason. Just a good sunny day made me happy, finding a 100 Rs. note in old book or bag made me jump with joy, birthday preparation started with shopping almost a month in advance.

Looks like I got lost in the memory lane. Philosophy can turn into nostalgia too I believe.

Just another post

The biggest disadvantage of not having anything stored in your draft is that when you want to update your blog and don't know what to write about, you are stuck. Busy times are back again. Monsoon season is usually a relatively free time for us professional. I happened to discuss it with a friend who has his own firm too, and he pointed it out. When I see the trend for my firm as well, monsoon slows down the business. Weird it be, but it's true.

Everyone is aware about Mumbai monsoons. Because of that, lectures get canned too. I love to work all the time, but these days, I miss my free time when I can just spend some time with myself. Since I am good at multitasking, I talk to people while working. But I miss reading, and writing. I miss blogging - reading as well as writing. Some days, when I get a bit of free time, that time I don't feel like logging onto blogger and write something.

Ah I sound lost. Rather, I am too happy to care. Happy as I am finally writing something. Happy because finally I am so busy with work that I don't have time for anything. And this happens to be my birthday month too. I turn a year older.

I visited Goa last week. It was a fantastic trip. Very much rejuvenating and well deserved. I am right now at a time when I take a vacation when I need to. I want to take my next vacation when I want to. I can do that easily as I have my own practice. I have Pondicherry and Auroville on cards. Let's see when it materializes. 

That's about it for now. There are many things to write about on my mind, but I am not in mood to write about those. I shall be back soon, pretty soon!