Are you a guy? Tough luck bro.

I have seen so many people talking about how difficult it is for a girl to survive in a male dominating society. Well it's true to a greater extent. But that doesn't mean that we girls take the feminism flag every time and abuse guys. They have a difficult life too.

I have seen them suffer so many times just because they are, well, men. No matter what they do in a girl's presence, their intentions are doubted. Well I believe that they should be allowed to think whatever they want to, for you cannot really change that. But we girls do the same too. It's a kind of secret code and thus I won't reveal what we really think in our mind about a guy (or even a girl for that matter in spite of being perfectly straight). When a guy offers to give a lift to a girl, they say "chance maar raha hai". If he doesn't offer, then he is a jerk. Ah poor guys.

Today I was waiting for a cab to go to the class. There was one guy standing right ahead of me. We were waiting for almost 10 minutes before one empty cab finally arrived. The cab guy didn't stop in front of him, but he stopped in front of me. Asked me where I wanted to go. I saw that guy come running to the cab. I let him ask the cab guy first as that was only fair. The cabwala refused him and took me.

Last weekend, I was coming back from some place. There was a guy sitting next to me in the flight. His friends were sitting right behind us. He tried 2-3 times to talk to me, just tried, but didn't succeed as I kind of carry that intimidating look with me wherever I go. Especially when I travel as I don't like to be disturbed. And flight is the only place where I get a peaceful sleep. And I didn't want to compromise on that. It was a two hour flight. After we landed, his friends very bluntly asked him why he didn't talk to me. And I heard it. He was embarrassed. Very embarrassed. 

A friend met with an accident. She rammed her bike into a car. It was her fault entirely as she lost balance. But onlookers started abusing the guy even though he was being sweet to her and trying to help her. His good gesture was mistaken as his error and poor fellow had to listen to everyone around him. He eventually took my friend to a nearby clinic. Thankfully she was not hurt much, but it was still a good deed. He didn't even take any damages from her. Insured car maybe, but still, WTH.

And every damn time, they are expected to carry heavy bags, or open the car/restaurant door, impress the girl, be funny, can't afford to be boring even a bit, can't praise other girls, have to compliment girls moderately, do hundreds of the things to make her fall in love with them, spend money on them, earn money for everyone - phew!

Poor guys. Thank God I am not a guy. I can be as lazy as I want to be. The biggest advantage of being a girl. Really. There are hardly any guys who are really out of a girl's league. If a guy is single, and a girl is even average looking and she likes him, he will say yes to her in all probabilities. But she won't ask him. Ever. And she gets away with it. If he doesn't have guts to ask her out, someone else will. She will never run out of options, while he gets just a few options in any case. A guy's ugly is a girl's cute.

Dear feminists, please leave them alone. Really. They are mostly cute.

Ranting away

Now when I feel like blogging more regularly, I don't know what to post. Not that I lack subjects to write about, but I somehow don't feel like writing about general topics anymore. They have been written about by so many people and in so many different ways. But writing something is required because you want to write. Rants have all been already written about, so repeating same thing again and again will not help either.

Latest controversy - Sanjay Dutt's conviction. Sanjay Dutt was awarded 5 years of imprisonment for possessing and destroying illegal weapons. There have been mixed reactions about his sentence. People say that he has already suffered enough after the bomb blasts and till now. These 20 years were no less than punishment for him. He has already spent 18 months in jail and remaining sentence shall commence after he surrenders, and he has been given four weeks' time to do so.

Now former Supreme Court Judges are suggesting that he should file a petition to grant him the pardon as his conduct in the last 20 years has been pretty much civil. I remember when the bomb blast happened back in 1993 and when he was arrested, people boycotted him and swore never to watch his movies. I am yet to understand why did he take the illegal weapon from the person who was actively involved in the blasts and even tried to destroy them if he was innocent. 

Plea for granting pardon to the Governor - this right can be exercised when one feels that the court has been too harsh on him while granting him the punishment. But in Sanjay Dutt's case, court convicted him for the period prescribed in the act. Now, if everyone starts filing petition just because one is popular or has always had a good conduct, our Government's entire time will go in reviewing these petitions.

Further, isn't Supreme Court's order final and binding? Why such preferential treatment should be given just because one is a celebrity? According to me, he has committed a crime and he should pay for it. If the Government starts overruling Judiciary's decisions for such celebrities, will people be able to trust the Judiciary in future? High time that we start looking at celebrities as regular citizens so far as law and order is concerned.

I have heard many stories about 1993 bomb blasts and his alleged involvement in the same. They can be wrong stories. And since the Court did not find him guilty under any of those charges, we cannot comment anything about them. But those were some serious accusations. Had there been anyone else in his place, I don't think that person could have even seen the daylight post the blasts and till the judgment day.

But again, we are nobody to decide anything about anyone. Many people who have committed crimes are roaming around freely. Innocent people have lost their lives. Petty criminals have spent five years in jail for stealing 100 Rs. because his case date kept getting postponed, mercy petitions don't get reviewed for decades as the President has other important things to look after. Ministers are busy with the scams and people are posting awareness messages online to show that they are doing their bit even though that won't serve any purpose.

So, how was your weekend?

Comeback, Conversations and Dates

I'm back. From where? Where did I go to? Did I even go anywhere? No place that you know of. Or even I do for that matter. But somehow off late I have been feeling some kind of a disconnect from this place. To be honest, I hated this disconnect. But now I again feel like writing. And reading. I have not been reading any blogs for quite some time. Not that I didn't want to, I just didn't feel like. Especially since the time this blogger interface changed. I stopped connecting with the dashboard. I didn't feel like opening blogger.com.

But now I feel like coming back to this space. I miss blogging dearly. Every time there is a conversation about some topic, I end up saying that I have blogged about it, or I have read about this on someone's blog. There was a time when blogging was allotted specific hours each day. It was a kind of ritual. I bet it is still for some of you. 

Whenever an interesting conversation takes place, I decide to blog about it. But it doesn't materialise. Reasons are few, excuses are plenty. A few days ago my friend asked me what I wanted to do with my life. I work, I earn and I spend. There is no goal as such set for the future. But is it even required? We spoke about my so called future plans. She seemed satisfied with my answer and since then has not nagged me for building up some savings.

Another discussion happened with another friend. It was about remembering dates. I am good at remembering dates I want to remember. Rather, I remember dates associated with people I love. Thus if I love you, I will remember all the dates associated with you - your birthday, when did we meet, when did a particular important incident happened with us etc. I even remember the dates which are important to that person. It sounds too scary to even me. And thus I never tell this to anyone that I remember this date when we did this. It doesn't really matter to me. On that day, it wouldn't even click me that it's an important day. But when I think of an incident, I remember it with a date if it's important enough. Phew! I am complicated. Not much, but a bit. And it's good. Too much of simplicity gets boring. 

In other news, yesterday was blog's birthday. I remembered it, but I was working, thus couldn't find any time to post anything. Earlier, I used to write one whole post on such things. Now I laugh at myself for doing so. But earlier, blogging happened regularly. When I used to go on a vacation, I used to set a date and time and put a post on auto publish mode so that my blog is not neglected in my absence. And now I don't even open it regularly. But I still manage to write something. I still enter some entry here however lame it might be. And I will continue doing so.

PS: Ignore the header.

About happiness

I always knew I would enjoy travelling alone, but what I didn't know was that it was addictive. I visited Udaipur recently. I was there for a family wedding. My whole khandan was travelling with me. Rajasthan was always there on my list of places I wanted to travel alone. And it kind of happened that way. Family people had already seen Udaipur and places around the city, thus it was just me who was left, and I was glad for that.

While travelling around the city, and outside too, while sitting alone in the car, while looking at the endless empty road ahead of you, while seeing the deers and leopards passing by, while watching monkeys to prepare to attack on any food they spot with you, while looking at children playing in the villages you pass by - you are searching for yourself everywhere. You are trying to fit in there. You wonder where you belong, what do you want, why are you doing what you are doing right now.

And I realise that things that make me happy and things I think that make me happy are different. Things, people who really make you happy never let you down. No, it's not about fulfilling fancy expectations, but it's about understanding you and your requirements, it's about accommodating you too in their small space, it's about accepting you as a part of them. There are no excuses and conditions. That's why happiness can easily be fulfilled when they depend on things and not people.

I felt happy when I was travelling on those endless roads. I felt connected to myself then. I didn't want the journey to end. But like every other good thing, that ended too, but for time being. Will I value it as much if I get it all the time and whenever I want it? I doubt I will. It has to be earned.

I feel happy when I write. It can be about any mundane topic, it can be extremely lame or smart, funny or philosophical. I can write something every single day. Here, on this space. This feels like home now. It's been my home for four years. It has me. It has a soul, just like mine. It has given me hope, happiness, heartbreak, dreams, love and hatred. It's just like life, created by me, with my words, and people.

This post was supposed to be a kind of travelogue, but it ended up somewhere else. I am anyway not too fond of travelogues. Or maybe I am. I have never really given it a thought. What makes you happy? Do you know it already or you are yet to find out? For me, I think I have found one of the things that makes me happy. But there is still a long way to go. Rather, many miles to go. I will sign off with my favourite picture. It was taken recently in Kumbhalgarh, Rajasthan.

Neglected and lost

This image above - this is how my blog must be feeling right now - neglected, almost forgotten, lying below a thick layer of dust, weeping. I haven't seen the dashboard in ages. I haven't visited any blog in a long time. I don't even remember what I wanted to write about when something really touched me. This was not the case earlier. Back then, I remembered everything too well. I used to create a blog post in my mind while travelling, reading or even working. It used to give me a kick when I met someone interesting and he had a lot to offer that could make a brilliant blog post.

And now, today, I have to think before writing anything. Not that I don't have any subject left. But there is no motivation to blog. I love to write here, about any damn thing, without thinking or expecting any comments, opinions or views about the post. I love comments. It feels good when people read you and leave a comment behind. But since I have been so irregular here, I do not expect people to read me regularly.

Apart from being busy, I have been in a very "sorting out everything" mood. This includes from small things like books and mail accounts to big things like work and finances. I have never been a kind of person who will have fancy savings. There was a time when I had a good enough bank balance. But not anymore. I invest some money if I feel like, or just spend them. I get a lot of gyaan as to how I am simply wasting my life. But buying a fancy watch makes me happier than having some security in my bank account. I would rather take my mom out for shopping than buy some shares regularly. Yes, foolish. I know. But I had good enough savings. Enough to survive for 2-3 years easily. But I lost it overnight. Had I spent that, then probably I wouldn't be thinking about that even today.

To each one's own when it comes to savings and spending. Neither will take you anywhere. Or it might just take you somewhere, who cares. Life is all about living. Go live it the way you want to, for you might not be alive to see what happens tomorrow.

Enough of ranting for now. I am soon going to write about my experience at Wagah border. But when I am in mood and I have some time. Until then, nothing!

Image Courtesy: http://coleenpatrick.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/coleen-patrick-dusty-book.jpg