Latrophobia

Thank god the blogger does not deactivate your account if you do not blog regularly. December has been one of the busiest months for me. And it continues to be busy. I don't remember a single day when I was home, except well for today. That too, because finally my body gave up and I am too tired to function today. There is a business trip in Raigad District tomorrow, and I have to be fit for that.

I don't think I have ever blogged about this, but I am very scared of doctors. I cannot visit them when I am unwell. It's a kind of phobia. When I am unwell, I will do everything possible - from regular tablets like crocin and such to dadima ke nuskhe; or I will call up a doctor friend and ask him to recommend me a medicine for whatever illness I have. He is strictly against it as it's not advisable to prescribe to medicines without checking the patient; but he gives in most of the times!

My problem is that I cannot visit a doctor for my illness. I have this phobia that they will end up voicing out some illness which is incurable or unheard of. Same thing happened yesterday too. It took me great courage and 8 days of non-stop headache to visit a doctor. So far I was thinking I was suffering from migraine, but I was wrong. And my fears came true yet again when the doctor announced that I was suffering from cluster headache.

Cluster headache? I had never heard about it. I started to panic. I asked him what exactly it was, he was about to explain when a nurse came running as there was some emergency. I waited for him for about 20 minutes in tension. Finally he explained to me what it was exactly. He said it was not a bad kind of headache, but it may cause a lot of pain when the attack is at its peak, and the pain may last for days too. He was worried as he knows me well, and after the examination diagnosis, he said it was a bit serious and I should be careful, but other doctor friends said that it was not so bad. I hope it is not.

And thanks to the headache and medication, I have finally got a day off. I am not working right now and resting. I guess these medicines may have its side effects such as weakness, but yeah I am feeling totally drained out. And resting at home. And blogging to finally after so many days. I miss this place.

In other news, I celebrated my birthday this month. Friends threw a bring in bash for me. That's such a teenage thing to do, and I had so much fun. We got drunk on Irish Cream, watched The dirty Picture (which is an awful movie), talked all night, went for lunch the next day, spent the evening with family and met other set of friends for dinner. In short, it was a wonderful birthday for me. And loads of gifts too.

And new year is approaching too. I don't have fancy plans. I will be working on the 31st, a small house party at a friend's place and back home the next day. Wish you all a very happy new year in advance. What are your plans?

Philosophical Nostalgia

A year or two back, I remember writing a post on how boring philosophy is. And I had started that post with a super philosophical paragraph. I always thought it was beyond me and my feeble understanding. But life and time teach you so many things. It surprises me sometimes when I go from normal to philosophical effortlessly and in no time. It's not a big deal, really. All you have to do is talk some positive and intellectual shit using a few heavy words. Elaborate a simple sentence in a profound manner and dang - you are a philosopher. 

I meet so many people each day. Everyone has a different take on life before and after a few drinks. And it's amusing to hear about their stories. How sad/happy they are before drinking, and two pegs down how things change suddenly. How senselessly sensible they become, how they look at life and talk about it. If only they applied all those principles in life, they wouldn't be drinking with friends.

I guess it's to do with age as well. I remember discussing about girls, boyfriends, heartbreaks, crushes, movies and such else during college. Then came the time when we discussed about work pressure, performance, target, promotions, lay offs, career options, marriages, family etc. And now mid-life crisis has hit us so bad that each of our discussion revolves around life and fight to survive. All of us have some or the other problem, nobody is entirely happy in one's life.

We fight. We work. We slog our asses off just to be happy, and at the end of the day, are we really happy? If I talk about me, I don't have any social life as such. There were times when I met friends without any reason and whenever I felt like. Now, I have to think 10 times before making such leisure plans with them. We go to fancy restaurants, good multiplexes or a nice holiday destination, but none of the meetings take place outside college, on marine drive, checking wallet before planning a movie, eating in fancy restaurants only when we get some birthday treat - that time was happier.

And no, I am not unhappy. Maybe I miss the simple and less complicated life. I miss the carefree and responsibility free life. I miss those nonsense conversations about nothing. And I miss being happy without any reason. Just a good sunny day made me happy, finding a 100 Rs. note in old book or bag made me jump with joy, birthday preparation started with shopping almost a month in advance.

Looks like I got lost in the memory lane. Philosophy can turn into nostalgia too I believe.

Just another post

The biggest disadvantage of not having anything stored in your draft is that when you want to update your blog and don't know what to write about, you are stuck. Busy times are back again. Monsoon season is usually a relatively free time for us professional. I happened to discuss it with a friend who has his own firm too, and he pointed it out. When I see the trend for my firm as well, monsoon slows down the business. Weird it be, but it's true.

Everyone is aware about Mumbai monsoons. Because of that, lectures get canned too. I love to work all the time, but these days, I miss my free time when I can just spend some time with myself. Since I am good at multitasking, I talk to people while working. But I miss reading, and writing. I miss blogging - reading as well as writing. Some days, when I get a bit of free time, that time I don't feel like logging onto blogger and write something.

Ah I sound lost. Rather, I am too happy to care. Happy as I am finally writing something. Happy because finally I am so busy with work that I don't have time for anything. And this happens to be my birthday month too. I turn a year older.

I visited Goa last week. It was a fantastic trip. Very much rejuvenating and well deserved. I am right now at a time when I take a vacation when I need to. I want to take my next vacation when I want to. I can do that easily as I have my own practice. I have Pondicherry and Auroville on cards. Let's see when it materializes. 

That's about it for now. There are many things to write about on my mind, but I am not in mood to write about those. I shall be back soon, pretty soon!