Thursday, October 01, 2009

A tale of multiple tales...

Couple of days back I was travelling from Andheri to Goregaon…It was around 4 pm, still the weather was not too humid (now that is saying something)…the autowala was friendly and cheerful too…my my what else I could have asked for…he was telling me his life story…he was from a small village located somewhere near Bihar as I did not know any other place located nearby and Bihar was the next closest place, and was here to make money (I hope there is nobody on my blogger’s list from MNS or sena), he had a small family back home, ek sundar joru (beautiful wife) aur badmash chhotu (his 3 year old son) as he put it…and yes, he was one of the fortunate fellows who had not yet become a victim of “anti north Indian people staying in Mumbai and taking away the jobs of Marathi manus” campaign…

And I reach almost mid-way, enjoying the bumpy ride and stories of the autowala, who happens to be very much talkative as well…he tells me what all problems he faces due to the lack of his knowledge about Marathi language…his license has been confiscated thrice so far for not knowing the state language (I checked the facts, and it is mandatory for the public transport drivers to know the local language) and he has almost mastered it by now…he stays with two more autowalas in a chawl located near Jogeshwari station, the money he earns does not suffice as he has to send it back home, pay rent here, cook food on his own, do all the work himself after the thirteen hours shift, medical and tobacco (I saw the packet in front, so I guessed this particular expense) etc. And his tale was interrupted by the crowd gathered on the left hand side of the road, laughing…my auto also halted as there was a signal ahead, and a little bit of traffic due to people’s curiosity to know what was happening…there we saw a lady hitting her husband with a stick, who was way too drunk to defend himself…I was feeling really sad about it, and my lawyer’s mind even started thinking about the remedies available to him, as the domestic violence act mentions about protecting a woman’s interest...and people were laughing out there instead of stopping them…I know that he was way too drunk, but he at least did not deserve beating from his wife, that too in public? Then we overheard couple of people in the crowd saying that the fellow being beaten up is the one who usually beats that lady always…I did not know whether to feel sorry for the man or his wife...before we got to know anything further, the traffic and signal got cleared, and we moved ahead…

Now it was again the autowala’s turn for his stories…he told me that this was a very common thing where his family is…there ladies only beat their husbands always…husbands are the one who get all the beatings from them…my question – Have you been beaten up ever? He said no madamji, my wife is very nice…she has never beaten me up…rather I have not given her a chance as I moved to Mumbai after 6 months of my wedding…he then spoke about Mumbai traffic, Mumbai weather, policewalas taking bribe and couple of more things I can’t recollect at the moment…and he was to start talking about RTO and I reached home…and one of the most memorable journey that I have ever had in Mumbai came to an end…




PS: I came across this wonderful post by Shruti, a very talented blogger, about parents and old age - Tardy Realization...It is a must read...

PPS: I am not going to be in town for few days...so there might be a slight delay in case of replying to your comments...so thank you all in advance :)

PPS: This post script is for Vishnu, who masters in writing multiple post scripts.. my small attempt towards it..:)

56 comments:

  1. Very interesting tales, Neha!
    Oops, that's a new one...wives beating husbands in Bihar!
    Your post talks about husband bashings and I talked about wives getting beaten as domestic violence!! Either ways, its sad for the relationship!

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  2. Interesting... Reminded me of another Autowalla... As usual after being rejected by innumerable autowallas one day, was saved from a 2 km walk by this SAINT.. who noticing my plight with the other autowallas remarked that all autowallas are C*****s
    Now thats saying something!!!

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  3. @ Shilpa, welcome here...well, it is indeed very sad that the beatings happen...does not mater who beats whom, but it is not right...thank you for your comments..

    @ Shrikant, well yeah, sometimes the autowalas are nice...it all depends on ur luck actually...:)

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  4. Nice na this post of yours will make the nari niketan very happy as they'll come to know that woman now have an answer for those men who beat them!!
    So u seemed to have enjoyed the auto ride...no mention of Himesh Reshamiya from an autowala....lol, strange na!!

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  5. Nice post. You seem to have enjoyed your conversation with the autowalla. Wife beating a husband is not new in India. It has been there for a very long time. It is not prevalent. Also, does not get publicity. Man beating a woman gets a lot of publicity.

    Just comes to my mind. Being a lawyer, I request you to write a blog on 498A so that you can educate us the real “stuff”. One caution. Be prepared to face protests from members of the women’s lib movement.

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  6. Hey, you have a tag or two over at MM, check 'em out, and do them if you want. :)
    I am tagging u back, and will read this later :P

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  7. i travelled from borivli to mulund check naka during my last visit by auto..u can imagine...v talked so much...mumbai's autos, trains...people...what all i have been missing in life here..thanks neha for ths post..interesting...hey dont tell me v ll miss u ya...plz stay connected..cheers rr

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  8. @ NR, I hope nobody from nari niketan reads this...I dont want anybody to be beaten up..and yes, me too fortunate as he neither played nor mentioned himesbhai..:))

    SG, well yeah, I did enjoy the conversation...but being beaten up b wife was new to me to be honest...I have not come across a single case of such a tragedy..

    I will surely write a post on section 498A as well as the overview on the domestic violence act...this idea has been playing on my mind for a long time...I have never been scared or reluctant about speaking my mind, and I think I can take criticism well (at least so far I have been successful)...so let them protest who wants to protest...we will enjoy reading their comments...what say :)

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  9. @ Sreya, thanks buddy...will surely take them up when I face my next blogger's block...which is not too far..;)

    @ R. Ramesh, phew, that was hellua travelling...lucky you also got a talkative company...and buddy, we always remain in touch, so no question of missing ya...:)

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  10. I have heard about these MNS people. They are no one, but some cowards who are a threat to our social security.

    About the beating, that's funny. Some people are like this. They can't be changed.

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  11. Neha very nice post. Today very few people have time for aam aadamee .

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  12. @ asit dhal, well, if you punish such people right, then I am sure they will have to change...thank u for your comments..

    @ Apanatva, thank you...I am glad you liked it...ou are right, very few people have time today for aam aadmee..

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  13. Neha,
    Wife beating husband?! Oh migh!
    That's a news to me :P
    I can get ready for some bashing after marr!!

    Thanks for linking my post!

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  14. You know husband-bashing may be true, a lot of manipulative women do, if not physically. But I'll tell you something, a lot of men who are wife-beaters claim to be abused by their wives, it's a kind of a psychological thing. A way of defending their actions and all.

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  15. Autowalas seem to know everything about the city and its people. We guys here make full use of them (information is wealth, you see). What information, you ask? Well, autowalas know a lot about single girls. Like which girl, which hostel, her timings, etc. (If a girl is engaged, she wouldn't go in auto, right? Her boyfriend will take her around in his bike. Logic, you see). So autowalas are very helpful for us boys. :D :P :))

    A wife beating her husband? Wait until it comes on TV when we see Rakhi Sawant beating her new 'dumb-ass' husband. (There goes another idea for a reality show) :P

    Nice post, by the way. You must've had a wonderful time. :))

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  16. Hey girl have seen your face in lot of comments (on others posts).. have read couple of posts but hadnt commented.. I am blogrolling you now! :) I never knew women beat their husbands! that's a news to me! good post

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  17. Now after reading the post, every guy accused of domestic violence shoule be sent to that part of Bihat as punishment like in old days criminals were sent to 'Kalapani' :)

    But what striked me is the unfolding of such a pure sweet uncomplicated love story through the stories of that autowala. Who said long distance relationship does not work today? Something similar to my laest post that you read, they have only letters/phone calls to keep them connected, so they are happy and we have so many other ways of connection that it ultimately gets disconected somewhere!! I sincerely wish and pray that this small family live life happily forever and may be one day he is capable of bringing his family to Mumbai with him or he can go back to Bihar and earn his living there..

    Thanks for the post :)

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  18. Neha,one can read more than one story in this.
    Wife beating or is it Husband beating, can be looked at from a lawyers point of view.Really it may worth it if you can tell us something on this law(personally i have not been beaten up).
    First time I have known that to get a licence one has to have knowledge of the local language.Is it applicable in all the states.in my opinion,it is unfair to have this stipulation.
    Biharis,even after MNS threat continue to remain determined and committed.
    Hoipefully,no MNS fellows have read your blog post.

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  19. Very nice post! this is the story of all immigrant labour..not enough to feed themselves and family, working long hours and living alone...then on top of that Raj thackerey:).

    Just wish that one day every citizen of our country is able afford the basic necessities of life.

    wife beating a husband or husband beating a wife..to me it is same..domestic voilence.

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  20. I have always revelled in such conversations. Always. And it has given great insight into how life is lived breathing the same air as i do !

    And in the stories there, there has been tremendous inspiration and a seeking to live life well !

    Lovely post. Thanks for reminding me that its time to have one more round of conversation.

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  21. this is not new at all.. working women are just fed up with men who spend their hard earned money on liquor.. earlier men used to beat the women n steal the money from them.. what a disgrace.. i feel ashamed of men like these.. if u want liquor earn the money for it urself..

    P.S.. a post script for me.. i think am gonna cry..

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  22. I havent been beaten but once my wife was so angry that unconsciously she dig her long nails into my flesh and i was bleeding nonstop. I have this habit of going from behind and grabbing her eyes shut. and once she was so busy in the kitchen when i did this that she caught my hands and when she removed, her nails had left deep marks. My hands were like as if cut with a blade. so wife's can be violent too, not just husbands...nice post..:)

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  23. I myself am confused whether to laugh or feel sorry... wife beating husband is just another marital issue like husband beating wife... is this all marriage about... well there are a lot o factors but the sorry factor exists... whther this way that...
    hey really love you template and design... Got an award waiting for you at my blog... please accept it :) cheers!

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  24. Very nice tale of your experience. Some of the autowallas have this knack of connecting with you instantly. This also lets them face read people and take them for rides when it comes to fares. Let us not generalise, some of them are uber nice too.

    Have a great break and cya soon.

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  25. @ shruti, please be ready to fight for your right and not for getting the bashing...beating in any form to anybody is n offense dearie...tc

    @ sreya, psychological or not, it is a very sensitive issue and to be taken care of asap...thanks..

    @ Kartik, info about single girls? hmmm quite a useful use of the autowala...and c'mon dude, Rakh Sawant has something in her...that's why u r mentioning her - so what if it is a criticism but yeah, she makes her presence felt..

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  26. @ evanescentthoughts, welcome here...thank u for your comments...n well this was a news to me too :)

    @ Mustaf, hahaha, kalapani n all, cool cool...not a bad idea...it must be so very difficult for them to stay away from families na...hope he is able to be with his family asap...

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  27. @ BK Chowla, welcome here...I am planning to write a post on domestic violence act soon...thank you very much for your suggestion...We had just an overwiew of motor vehicles act of maharashtra, but my father in law is an RTO officer, thus I know this rule...but I will surely confirm the same and let you know asap...and yeah, biharis are still going strong...I feel one should earn his job purely on his merits and not because he belongs to a particular caste..and yeah I hope the MNS person does not this comment either :)

    @ Antarman, you are so very true about the immigrants...even I wish that people can at least afford the basic necessities of life..and any form of violence must be punished gravely...

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  28. @ Kavi, looking forward to your post...these people are indeed true inspirations...there is so much to learn from them...thank you...i am so glad you liked it..:)

    Vishnu, so very true...and about the PS, do not cry buddy...you still excel in this field :)

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  29. @ ZB, mandar is there to accompany you...he had also got such deep marks on his hands thanks to my nails...:) thanks buddy, I am glad u liked it..

    @ Rajlakshmi, it is a sad reality that such things happen in a holy relation like marriage...marriage is all about love, understanding, loyalty and cordial relationship between husband and wife...violence is not accepted and must be treated with punishment..and thanks a lot buddy for the award...I am honoured...will surely accept it asap..:)

    @ JJ, you are right...some of them take u on a ride, but few are really nice...so it is better not to generalise them but at the same time, let's not treat them negatively...we do find nice people everywhere...thanks..:)

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  30. Hi Neha, you've been tagged in my latest post....

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  31. thanks for passing by neha..missing mumbai everyday..wish i could chuk this job and return..if only wishes were horses.!!

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  32. Big cities often throw up this kaleidoscope juxtaposing the different types of society and relationships. The narrative was so vivid that one could actually see it as one read through. And most probably that woman must have forgiven him again and even given him some pocket money the next day leading to the scenes all over again.

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  33. This is one a different note. I saw in Aaparnadi's blog that your hometown is in umbergaon & you saw Ramayana shooting!! OMG, how lucky you are...it must be grt fun na..it surely demands a post, if you can :)

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  34. interesting and enlightening post/
    are you from Andheri?

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  35. @ Karthik, thank you for the tag...

    @ R. Ramesh, hmmm I can understand buddy how difficult it is to stay away from amchi mumbai...

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  36. @ Holy lama, welcome here...I am glad u liked it...and I agree with u here...she must have forgiven hi and given him more money for liquor...thank you for your comments...keep visiting :)

    @ mama zen, welcome here...thank u for ur comment...I am so glad you liked it...hope to see u around more often..:)

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  37. @ Mustaf, I have already written a post on it...will give u the link on ur post..:)

    @ anju, thank u for passing by...I stay at Goregaon :)

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  38. Some realistic tales neha...
    enjoyed the post..!!

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  39. What a ride! And such a talkative autowala!! Hmm the wife beating up her husband..so strange! Maybe she got tired of being always on the receiving end!!
    Anyway loved reading your post:-)

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  40. I love conversing with Taxi drivers and auto rickshaw wallahs and have had interesting conversations. Except one, who was non stop and I had to literally tell him that I had to meditate.

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  41. Neha
    nice story, in India no one is ready to talk about real problems.

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  42. @ vinz, thank u..

    @ Novice writer, welcome here...thank you for your comments...well the autowala was indeed very talkative...and it feels nice to connect to such people who live in our own city but have a very different lifestyle...and about wife beating husband or otherwise, beating itself is an offense...and must be punished...keep visiting...:)

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  43. @ nsiyer, thank you sir...I usually don't converse with them, as it is slightly difficult for us females to trust them, you know how few of them can get really nasty..but yeah, some of them are very nice and I quite enjoyed the ride...I hope you don't get extra-talkative one the next time :)

    @ sm, I agree with u...the real picture never comes in picture...thanks..

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    ReplyDelete
  45. That's new!! Loved the post!!!

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  46. Hey Neha... I did read the post as soon it was posted.. but was too lazy to comment..Jus popped in to tel u that I loved it.. Made an Interesting read... and also the PPS saga... :D

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  47. @ Zeba, thanks buddy...

    @ Lakshmi, thanks buddy...I am glad you liked it..:))

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  48. hmm Neha...sry for the late comment, anyways multiple tales indeed!! well in India its a common sight indeed is'nt it? Women beating up the men, and vice versa... for a mo we will never realise who we shud feel sorry for! yes...been there!.. but then we cant stop them, as in fury yu might get clobbered as well :)! so stop worrying abt who is going to stop them!..As for the autowala...hmm God Bless him! cya around

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  49. HaRy, its nvr too late here...for me watching a female beating up a male was pretty new...well dude, maybe "we" cant stop them, but awareness about law and no corruption can, right? it's sad to see anybody being beaten up na..

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  50. Nice one. Wife beating up husband is not new. Its just that they dont get publicity as much as domestic violence by male get. Stereotypical!!

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  51. hey, it reminds me of one talkative sardarji autowala in delhi..
    seeing people like these made one realise "take one day at a time" and enjoy!!

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  52. @ insignia, it was very new for me...god, how can people hit man...that too in public?

    @ wishesgalore, it is a wonderful experience na to talk to these people...

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  53. I remember reading somewhere, that if you are residing at some place which is not your home town, then its better to know the local language, or you are living under constant denial (what ever that means)

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